Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Texting my boss to let him know how excited I am for work tomorrow.
  • “It’s been a long week!” Me, on a Tuesday.
  • I don’t hate you, but I hope you run out of hot water before you’re finished your shower.
  • Hear me out, a Q-Tip that doesn’t bounce out the trash can when you throw it away.
  • If you ever ask a teen to do something and they just say “sure” without arguing, check that they haven’t been replaced with an android.
  • I am never hungrier than when I leave the dentist and told I can’t eat right away.