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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

There are a 100 billions nerves in the human body, and there are people who have the ability to irritate all of them.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

I told ChatGPT about us.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

Cheer up! Your biggest mistake is probably still ahead of you.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

I’m sorry that I bit you, I was trying to flirt.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

I could never give up my dog, he knows too much.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

Here’s what I’ve learned since I’ve been on social media: I’m not nearly as disturbed as I thought I was.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

I see stand-up comedy as a stepping stone to television. A few more paid gigs and I’ll be able to afford a television.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

If your cat has ever accidentally fallen into the tub while you were taking bath, you’ve known chaos.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

Life is short. Make sure you spend as much time as possible on the web arguing with strangers.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

Maybe you should eat some makeup so you can be pretty on the inside too.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

759 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,921

Funny Quotes Topics

13,890

Funny Quotes Images

10,921

31 minutes ago

3,440

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WhatsApp:

We have decided to sell the house. How long do you think it will take for our landlord to find out?

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I would like even faster food.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

The internal struggle between wanting to be productive and just wanting to nap all day.

Just shared via X:

People who talk about fruit having too much sugar scare me so bad. Please get back, you wicked witch!

Freshly posted on Slack:

Reading is a gateway drug to being less stupid.

Live now on Telegram:

Kettlebells? I thought you said kettle chips.

Just shared via Reddit:

I think it broke my boyfriend’s heart when I said he couldn’t have Salma Hayek for Valentine’s Day.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

People call me a “Trekkie,” but I’m not. I’ve only seen Star Wars a couple of times.

Live now on WeChat:

My toxic trait is optimism.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Honestly, I don’t even play an active role in my life any more. Things just happen and I’m like “I guess this is what we’re doing now.”

I was always told to eat all my food so that I’d grow to be big and strong. When exactly does the strong part kick in?

6 months ago

I was always told to eat all my food so that I’d grow to be big and strong. When exactly does the strong part kick in?

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Commentary:
Oh, the eternal mystery of when that "strong" part finally arrives! 🤔💪 Maybe it's waiting for the perfect moment to make a grand entrance, like a superhero swooping in to save the day! 🦸‍♂️ Keep eating your greens and who knows, you might just wake up one day with muscles of steel! 💪😄

always, big, eat, eating, exactly, expectations, food, grow, humor, i, ID, irony, kick, strength, strong

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

759 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,921

Funny Quotes Topics

13,890

Funny Quotes Images

10,921

31 minutes ago

3,426

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

I just want a man to look at me the way Doc from ‘Back to the Future’ looks when something exciting happens.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

There’s no filter on my pics or my thoughts. I’m just out here raw-dogging it.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, can you give it a really good massage?

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

I just learned the professional way to say “I told you so”: “This was identified early on as a likely outcome.”

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

“Treat yourself. You deserve it,” she says while adding the shoes to her cart.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

When I get tired of shopping, I sit down and try on shoes.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

Went to bed with wet hair and woke up looking like I might know a lot about astrophysics.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

Sorry I was late, I was disassociating in the shower.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

Dear women, when you’re not around we load the dishwasher properly.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on X:

I want a girlfriend so hot that people walking down the street know that I am funny.

Just landed via Telegram:

You know you’re mature when you go to the dentist and you are no longer afraid of pain, but of how much it costs.

Making waves on Slack:

I prefer my weighted blanket in human form.

Spotted on Snapchat:

That feeling when it’s Friday, you blink once, and somehow it’s Monday again.

Just shared via X:

Texting my boss from the job I got laid off from 5 months ago and telling him I have diarrhea.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Every triangle is a love triangle when you love triangles.

Just landed via Slack:

We live in a cosmic tornado, but sure, let’s all get jobs.

Just shared via X:

Monday? But, I wasn’t even finished with Saturday yet.

Live now on Threads:

Nurse: “This may hurt.” Me: “My life hasn’t been much fun either.”

Spotted on TikTok:

Just saw a bird run across the street if you were wondering if anyone else is wasting their gifts.

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