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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

If I’m ever found dead in the woods, it’s probably because I was trying to pet a bear.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

With age comes wisdom. And digestive trouble.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

I don’t want to stand, Apple Watch. You stand.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

“Santa isn’t real!” Okay, I literally just saw him at the mall.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

You learn a lot about someone when you marry them. For example, I learned I should have married someone else.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

You ever tried driving the speed limit and thought, “They can’t be serious.”

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

It always takes me an hour to get ready. 45 minutes for doing nothing and 15 hectic minutes for the rest.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

Current situation: lying in bed, trying to manifest breakfast.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

I’m proud of myself because, despite having so many expenses, I still manage to add more.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

That moment when you cut into a seedless watermelon and find out it’s only allegedly seedless.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

766 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,928

Funny Quotes Topics

13,900

Funny Quotes Images

10,928

36 minutes ago

3,438

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Pinterest:

If you’re bored when you’re alone, obviously you’re in bad company.

Just landed via Slack:

It’s almost bed time, so I’ll just check my e-mail, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and watch a season of my favorite show on Netflix real quick.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Some people are so judgmental, I can tell by just looking at them.

Reported on WeChat:

Don’t hate me because I can fall asleep within seconds; hate me because I can sleep through the night without having to get up to go to the bathroom.

Trending via Reddit:

You wear a white shirt and all of a sudden everybody wants to go eat spaghetti.

Making waves on Messenger:

The number of times I stand in a room, staring because I forgot why I walked in there, is embarrassingly high.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Just found out about confirmation bias, and now every article I read totally proves I was right to be worried about it.

Making waves on Reddit:

I’m not feeling very worky today.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Taking a phone to school in primary was like smuggling drugs.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Every morning I announce that Im going for a jog, but then I don’t go. It’s a running gag.

I was always told to eat all my food so that I’d grow to be big and strong. When exactly does the strong part kick in?

6 months ago

I was always told to eat all my food so that I’d grow to be big and strong. When exactly does the strong part kick in?

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Commentary:
Oh, the eternal mystery of when that "strong" part finally arrives! 🤔💪 Maybe it's waiting for the perfect moment to make a grand entrance, like a superhero swooping in to save the day! 🦸‍♂️ Keep eating your greens and who knows, you might just wake up one day with muscles of steel! 💪😄

always, big, eat, eating, exactly, expectations, food, grow, humor, i, ID, irony, kick, strength, strong

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

766 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,928

Funny Quotes Topics

13,900

Funny Quotes Images

10,928

36 minutes ago

3,425

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

Don’t even get into my car if you’re just gonna scream every time I hit something.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

Computer dating is fine, if you’re a computer.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

If you want to impress me with your car, it should be an ice cream van.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

Happy new fear!

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

I deserve a treat when I have a bad week, but I also deserve a treat when I have a good week. I simply always deserve treats.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

Sometimes I feel like I’m cheating on my recliner with my loveseat, in case you were wondering how emotionally invested I am in laziness.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

If my dog knew how many photos I have of him sleeping, he’d file a restraining order against me.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

More foods should have boats, why should gravy have all the fun?

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

I haven’t even gone to bed yet and I already can’t wait to get home from work tomorrow.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

The Princess and the Pea, except it’s a rogue hair on the inside of my shirt driving me crazy all day.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Getting left on read really gives me perspective on what Nigerian princes go through.

Shared recently on Discord:

Wanna know what the 90’s were like? Put your phone down and go outside.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

All I know for sure is that I could be wrong.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Okay, new plan, I’m going to marry a Kardashian.

Making waves on Reddit:

There’s just one legitimate synonym for Friday: boom shakalaka.

Trending via Facebook:

My husband threw away a perfectly good box as if we might not need it in 20 years.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Dating app that matches you based on your risk tolerance for airport arrival timing.

Seen just now on Slack:

My favorite exercise is a combination of a lunge and a crunch. It’s called lunch.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Mail is crazy because it’s like 99 pieces of straight up garbage and 1 that if you don’t reply to you’re going to jail.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

So far, no one has seriously tried to bribe me, which is a shame because I am extremely corrupt. Maybe I need a position with more power.

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