Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

I have a lot in common with AI. We occasionally provide incorrect information with a confident tone.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

The possibility of monsters residing underneath your bed is negated when the mattress is positioned on the floor.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

Voice messages. Just call, goddamnit!

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

The plan was simple: finish school, find a job and get married at 25. But now I don’t understand anything anymore.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

It’s not my job to police the internet, but I just saw someone post a recipe for a cauliflower cake, and I reported them for harmful content.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

Let’s ruin each other’s sleep schedules and call it romance.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep, not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

I don’t like this new trend of old people wearing shirts of bands I listened to when I was a kid.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

I don’t like how monkeys have taken ownership of the whole banana thing. I bet I like bananas almost as much as they do.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

Self-care is putting your face on a very soft cat.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Jan 2, 2026

3,528

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Snapchat:

I don’t simply want to kill a mosquito; I want to bite them back over and over to make them itch.

Shared recently on Slack:

Yes, officer I saw the speed limit, I just didn’t see your car.

Just shared via X:

The best way to contact me is to meet me in my dreams at 3 a.m.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Just blocked all the ugly people, so if you see this… what’s up, big sexy?

Trending via Twitch:

People who remember to drink water, what’s that like?

Spreading quickly via Discord:

I want to clarify that what I publish on social media does not define me as a person; I am worse.

Trending via Twitch:

Every citizen over 18 should be eligible to be drafted into the Postal Service.

Seen just now on Discord:

The rainforest cafe won’t be authentic enough for me if they don’t bulldoze 40% of the restaurant while I’m there.

Just shared via WeChat:

If elves make shoes, cookies, and toys, why don’t we put them in charge of more stuff?

Going viral on Instagram:

Needs to be a Google Maps setting where you can ask them not to make you take a left across four lanes of oncoming traffic.

If all men are the same, why does it take women so long to choose one?

2 months ago

0

If all men are the same, why does it take women so long to choose one?

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the eternal mystery of the dating world 🕵️‍♂️🤔 Perhaps it's because women are searching for that elusive diamond in the rough 💎 or maybe they're just enjoying the buffet of options 🍽️🍷 One thing's for sure, it's all part of the fun and games of love and romance! 💘😄

choose, date, decision, humor, irony, men, relationships, same, take, women

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I remember when asking someone if they were on X meant something completely different.

0

2 months ago

asking, communication, different, humor, i, meaning, meant, memory, nostalgia, remember, someone, something, x
Before you call me an idiot consider this: I know!

0

2 months ago

before, call, consider, humor, i, idiot, know, me, self-awareness
“Listen to your body!” Okay, well, my body wants to lay down and eat snacks all day.

0

2 months ago

body, day, eat, humor, lay, lay down, laziness, listen, okay, relaxation, self-care, snack, snacks, wants, well
I’m a credit card, cause I’m always being used or denied.

0

2 months ago

card, comparison, credit, credit card, denied, financial, humor, joke, used, wit
It sucks that the reward for being responsible, is just a bunch of new responsibilities.

0

4 months ago

adulthood, being, humor, irony, just, lesson, life, life lesson, new, responsibility, responsible, reward, sucks
Let’s hope those bridges you burn keep you warm at night.

0

2 months ago

bridges, burn, hope, humor, keep, metaphor, night, revenge, sarcasm, warm, warmth

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

69 shares on Messenger this month:

Just as “magic spells” use special rhymes and archaic terms to signal their power, the convoluted language of legalese acts to convey a sense of authority.

51 shares on Threads this month:

Carrying my phone from room to room like a Victorian woman and her lantern.

72 shares on Threads this month:

Wow, pretty rude for people to exist who are younger and hotter than me, but OK.

74 shares on Pinterest this month:

I keep checking my phone like I mean something to somebody. Silly me.

46 shares on YouTube this month:

I got bills. They’re multiplying.

60 shares on YouTube this month:

If you’re riding a bike in New York City, it means you care about your health. Riding one in Tennessee means you got a DUI.

42 shares on X this month:

I give such good nudes that nobody ever needs to ask me for a second one.

85 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Not to brag but I gave someone directions and he made it.

38 shares on Pinterest this month:

So I just checked my bank account, and it looks like for Christmas I am getting everyone the thought that counts.

88 shares on Twitch this month:

I don’t know how to flirt, but you can watch me eat fresh fruit in my sundress.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Every time I watch “The Godfather”, I notice some new detail (they’re Italian???).

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Not having a crush is dangerous. What am I supposed to think about? What if I invent something?

19 folks are currently checking 👀

My husband accidentally locked himself out of the house, and I didn’t hear him knocking until I finished eating the rest of his cheesecake. So weird.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Living up to your potential sounds exhausting.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m asking Santa to bring some of you a sense of humor for Christmas.”

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Heavy on the ‘mhm,’ cause people just be talking.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Biggest flex is when your friend’s mom uses you as a good example.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I haven’t exaggerated in like a million years.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

What if babies had two umbilical cords and if you cut the wrong one, it exploded?

24 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite things about Twitter are that everything you read is true, everyone is nice, and all intentions are pure of heart.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,450

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

Being naked with shoes on feels more naked than being totally naked.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

If you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my horniest.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

I made up all these romantic scenarios in my brain and you’re not following the script.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

Did the people you had a crush on always like you back or are you funny?

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

Why am I scrolling? What am I searching for?

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

Beavers are so funny. Why are you a little rat doing hydraulic engineering?

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

In the American Bible, Eve was made from part of a McRib.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

The hairdresser asking me what special plans I have for the day like this wasn’t it.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

Just rolled a joint. Not to get high or anything. It was just my ankle.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

Sometimes it’s not a secret, it’s just none of your business.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Seriously, how sexy was Freud’s mom?

Just landed via TikTok:

McDonald’s needs a 3rd window so you can trade in all the wrong stuff they gave you.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

If you can stand me, you deserve me!

Making waves on Messenger:

Me, when a 25-year-old talks to me: please be patient with me, I’m from the 1900s.

Seen just now on Discord:

Cookbook, but each recipe includes a photo of all the dishes that need to be cleaned after making it.

Going bananas on Discord:

So, if you are too tired to speak, sit next to me, because I am fluent in silence.

Shared recently on X:

So I think the mammals have now ravaged this planet long enough. It’s time for the reptiles to take over again.

Just landed via Slack:

The enemy of my enemy is my friend. But I’m my own worst enemy, so I guess I’m also my best friend.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Nudes are played out. Send me a video of you reading out loud so I know you’re not dumb.

Going bananas on TikTok:

My heart says, chocolate and wine, but my jeans say “Woman, are you kidding? Eat a salad!”

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴