23 funny choose quotes - Wordgag

Love when job applications ask for my desired salary so I can choose between not being hired and being exploited for my work.

May 19, 2026

Twitter is just a diary I choose to show to strangers.

May 19, 2026

Meetings are just podcasts I didn’t choose.

May 19, 2026

Hey kid, wanna hear a scary story? One day, you will be able to do whatever you want, and you will choose to stay home alone.

May 19, 2026

I don’t understand why it isn’t socially acceptable to choose to be nocturnal. The angry hot sky ball is gone, my internet is fast, everyone finally shut up, what’s not to like.

May 19, 2026

You will give your period 50 acres of prime pad, and it will still choose to encroach on your underwear.

Apr 1, 2026

Free will: where you get to choose your own adventure … and regret it.

Mar 31, 2026

Today I choose kindness, but we’ll see, it’s still early.

Mar 31, 2026

Flying bugs can basically go anywhere they want, but still choose to fly right into your face.

Mar 31, 2026

It’s wild that you can just do anything. Date the wrong person, choose the wrong career. You can go outside and start eating dirt if you want, and the universe lets you. Not even a pop-up like “Are you sure?“

Mar 30, 2026

On the internet, you can be anything you want. It’s strange that so many people choose to be stupid.

Mar 30, 2026

Big decision to make? Sleep on it. Have a nightmare. Then you’ll be operating on pure adrenaline and will choose more quickly.

Mar 30, 2026

I mostly choose to stay silent in weird situations but my face has subtitles.

Mar 29, 2026

It’s that time of year where every jacket you choose is wrong.

Mar 29, 2026

Contrary to what we currently believe, we don’t choose afternoon naps. Afternoon naps choose us.

Mar 29, 2026

Americans can choose from over 1,000 breakfast cereals but only two presidential candidates?

Mar 27, 2026

Sometimes you choose the GIF-war over your responsibilities.

Mar 27, 2026

It’s this time again when you have to choose between coffee and mulled wine in the morning.

Mar 26, 2026

If all men are the same, why does it take women so long to choose one?

Mar 26, 2026

I often choose gift bags instead of wrapping, not just out of laziness, but also because I have the fine motor skills of a drunken panda.

Mar 26, 2026

It turns out when someone asks who your favorite child is, you’re supposed to choose from your own. I know that now.

Mar 25, 2026

The romantic says that there is the right partner for everyone. The realist says: only one person has to choose the wrong one and then it won’t work out for everyone!

Mar 25, 2026

You get to choose which path you take. I see some of you have chosen the psychopath.

Mar 25, 2026