Trendy Funny Quotes

  • Got an email from my bank saying “is your 401k enough to retire on” and it’s like you are my bank, you know it’s not.
  • My handwriting makes a pharmacist look like a calligrapher.
  • I’m neither a lover nor a fighter. I’m a snacker.
  • I always knew I’d get old. How fast it happened was a bit of a surprise though.
  • She left me because of my poor English. But I doesn’t care.
  • If your god commands you to kill others, find another god.