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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

I need like twelve incomes for this lifestyle I have in my head.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

Ever woken up, kissed the person sleeping next to you and felt glad to be alive? I just did, so I won’t be catching this train again.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

Your pronouns should be get/help.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

My life plans are fading like Marty McFly’s family photo.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

Damn girl, are you a plate of microwaved leftovers? Because you’re hot on the outside and cold on the inside.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

I’m actually really good looking if you don’t look at me.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

Hate how quietly iPhones die. At 5% it should start verbally begging for its life.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

I miss when The Weeknd made haunted strip club music. Didn’t know how good I had it.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

The final stage of being single is when you listen to a love song and no one comes to mind; at that point, you’ve achieved absolute singularity.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

I’m going to hell if anybody needs anything.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

789 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,951

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,951

Updated

27 minutes ago

Users Online

3,431

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Slack:

Going to the beach is 99% getting ready for the beach and 1% enjoying the beach.

Reported on YouTube:

Meetings are great because who doesn’t like being held hostage?

Making waves on Snapchat:

I hate when I lose things at work, like pens, papers, sanity and dreams.

Breaking via Twitch:

Friday the 13th used to mean something. Now every day is awful.

Going viral on WeChat:

“Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go” by “Wham” encourages you to do something you shouldn’t do.

Just shared via YouTube:

I know everything is expensive right now, but just remember correcting people’s grammar online is still free.

Going viral on Twitch:

Friends with benefits, but it’s just that they make delicious baked goods.

Reported on Instagram:

Pretty sure they’re naming prescription drugs by just grabbing random Scrabble tiles. “Oh hey, Qdilrox sounds good.”

Just shared via Messenger:

You have hopes and dreams. I have nopes and screams.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

I miss my Dad opening the windows and talking about cross-ventilation.

If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can’t it get us out?

If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can’t it get us out?
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, if stupidity got us into this mess, then it's only fair that we give it a chance to redeem itself by getting us out! Who knows, maybe it has a hidden talent for problem-solving that we've been overlooking all this time. Besides, if nothing else works, we can always count on stupidity to provide us with some entertainment along the way.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

789 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,951

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,951

Updated

27 minutes ago

Users Online

3,446

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

We go together like Drunk and Disorderly.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

I’m so bored, I’m gonna join a poly-relationship and stage a coup and kick the main one out.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

If history repeats itself, I’m getting a pet dinosaur.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

You don’t need to leave a message in a bottle. If the bottle is full of tequila, I’ll get the message.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

You can’t get a good night’s sleep anymore because of woke.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

Whoever came up with “penny for your thoughts,” “don’t nickel and dime me,” and “another day another dollar” sure knew how to coin a phrase.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

It’s like 10,000 Tupperwares when all you need is a lid.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

People who work in retail should be allowed to slap a customer or two each Christmas, as a little treat.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

It’s really sad that April Fools is the only day people are appropriately skeptical of stuff they read on the internet.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

Adult friendships are like, “hey girl, let’s keep rescheduling to hangout until one of us dies.”

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Telegram:

Introducing WifeChat™, the app where you talk to your wife.

Making waves on Discord:

Doing all of this just to die in the end! LMAO!

Broadcasted on Discord:

One week of daily crunches and I have abs…urdly underestimated how long it will take to see results.

Going viral on Reddit:

Can I be speaker? I’m pretty good at saying a lot without saying anything at all.

Live now on Twitch:

I like you because we hate the same people.

Spotted on YouTube:

I like to play this fun game while I clean out the fridge called what is this, how long has it been in here and how do I kill it?

Reported on Twitch:

Adulting is realizing you can’t skip work like you skipped school.

Just shared via X:

We’re living in increasingly unfergalicious times.

Just shared via Twitch:

First date idea: you rescue me out of the tree I got stuck in while looking through your windows.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

If only vehicles could be equipped with little blinky lights on the corners to alert other drivers the direction they wished to turn.

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