Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

Offering people sitting on the bus my standing room. Like it’s better.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

Therapists probably have to struggle so hard not to ask to see pictures of the people their clients are obsessing over.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

There is no bigger lie than “fun for the whole family”.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

Did you know if you hold your ear up to a stranger’s leg, you can actually hear them say, ‘What the hell are you doing?’

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

Maybe if we paid our streaming services even more, they could stop jacking up the volume on the commercials they make us watch, even though we are paying for the service.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

Two bros having a conversation in the 1700s like “omg, we should totally start a pamphlet”

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

The only ‘survival horror’ game I play is called ‘getting up every day and leaving the house.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

People in their 20s be like, “This is my emotional support master’s degree.”

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

Might put on a bikini and run through your DMs.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

I just finished cleaning the house for Thanksgiving, so if you’re looking for my family they’ll be in the backyard until Thursday.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Dec 22, 2025

3,932

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Instagram:

My wife called to tell me she saw a fox on the way to work. I asked her how she knew it was on its way to work. She hung up on me.

Just shared via Messenger:

Nice tweets, bro. What medications are you on?

Breaking via Instagram:

I only obey the traffic rules to get on other peoples’ nerves.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

When Dr. Seuss wrote, “Oh, The Places You’ll Go,” he did not consider how comfortable my couch would be.

Spotted on X:

Twitter is basically a psychiatric ward where all the patients diagnose each other.

Going viral on Reddit:

Carrots are a great thing to eat when you’re hungry, and want to stay that way.

Freshly posted on Slack:

You come from dust and you will return to dust. That’s why I don’t dust. It could be someone I know.

Spotted on Facebook:

Job market so bad, I started following my dreams.

Just shared via Facebook:

“Is this a joke to you?” Unfortunately, everything is a little bit of a joke to me.

If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can’t it get us out?

1 month ago

0

If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can’t it get us out?

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, if stupidity got us into this mess, then it's only fair that we give it a chance to redeem itself by getting us out! Who knows, maybe it has a hidden talent for problem-solving that we've been overlooking all this time. Besides, if nothing else works, we can always count on stupidity to provide us with some entertainment along the way.

humor, irony, logic, mess, problem-solving, stupidity

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I like my music at a volume where I can’t hear you.

0

2 months ago

distraction, hear, humor, i, music, relationship, volume, where
I was once told that if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all. Due to this, I’ve been observing a vow of silence since 1997.

0

2 months ago

1997, communication, humor, i, irony, nice, observation, sarcasm, silence, vow, vow of silence
I remember when “disinformation” used to be called “lies.”

0

1 month ago

disinformation, humor, i, irony, joke, lie, politics, remember, satire, truth, used
A really good magician could be living in your house and you would never know.

0

2 months ago

good, house, humor, illusion, know, living, magic, magician, mystery, never, secret, surprise, unexpected
Vote for me and I will halve the calories in chocolate.

0

2 months ago

calory, chocolate, diet, election, humor, i, me, politics, promise, vote
Insomnia sharpens your math skills because you spend all night calculating how much sleep you’ll get if you’re able to ‘fall asleep right now.’

0

2 months ago

asleep, calculations, fall, fall asleep, humor, insomnia, math, night, rest, right, skills, sleep, spend

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

51 shares on Twitch this month:

Things went well until the evil supermarket people hid my favorite products in new places.

48 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Be nice to me, I may be hot one day.

46 shares on TikTok this month:

Please be nice to me. I’m in my twenties. Do you know what that does to a person?

32 shares on TikTok this month:

To the guy who invented zero, thanks for nothing.

26 shares on WeChat this month:

Nearly choked on a carrot. A donut would never do that to me.

28 shares on WhatsApp this month:

God creating the duck: waterproof that chicken and give it a kazoo.

48 shares on WhatsApp this month:

“I need a movie where the villain actually won!” Have you tried watching the news?

94 shares on Messenger this month:

Can we not just call it Zealand now?

78 shares on Threads this month:

The cashier said, “Have a good day,” but she doesn’t mean it.

97 shares on Snapchat this month:

There are a few certainties in this life: death, taxes and when a Canadian tells you it’s cold out, it’s cold out.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Weird how I can’t seem to reach anything at the grocery store when hot men are around.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Apparently, “spite” is not an appropriate answer to “What motivates you?”

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Every man’s biggest fear is trying a new barber.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m already ready to clock out from work tomorrow.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Today’s toddlers can switch on laptops and use apps. When I was little, I ate sand.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Boobs always win. That’s why we don’t play rock, paper, boobs.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Shaved my entire body for this post, just in case.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Here’s to another day of outward smiles and inward screams.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

In my 20’s: I want to find true love. In my 40’s: I just want a toaster that gets me.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Ever looked at your ex and wondered, was I drunk the entire relationship?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,721

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

They always say, there is someone for everyone… unfortunately, the person for me is a therapist.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

Alexa, turn off the planet.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

I might look like I have my life together, but that’s only because the mess is out of the camera frame.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

Your Majesty” would be the best name for a cat.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

People say “go big or go home” like going home is a bad thing. Heck yeah, I want to go home, and I’ll have a nap when I get there.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

I always thought that aunts had a lot of money. Until I became one myself.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

I’m scared to go to an art museum, because what if they decide to keep me?

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

Wi-Fi: Your internet connection is unstable. Me: You should see my life.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

I take issue with furniture that deliberately moves 1 inch when you’re in a rush to get by.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

Unfollowing high school people really is a form of self-care.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

The pigeons are plotting to overthrow the government. It will start with a coo.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Withholding sex from you people isn’t working.

Trending via Pinterest:

Delete a letter of his name from your contacts every time he makes you upset. When his name’s gone, he’s gone. Hangman that boy.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Not to brag, but I just stood up without making a sound. Don’t be jealous.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Closing down one work tab every day until Christmas like a reverse advent calendar.

Just landed via Threads:

Somebody needs to get my shit together.

Just shared via Twitch:

I become someone I don’t recognize when I play Monopoly.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I postpone certain outfits until I get a certain hairstyle because, yes, it’s that deep.

Just shared via Instagram:

Did you know electronics need smoke to work? Once the smoke comes out of them, they stop working.

Trending via LinkedIn:

My sneeze is the reason people in the middle ages believed sneezing was caused by demon possession.

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴