I’m not lazy, I’m on power saving mode.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

It’s that time of year where every jacket you choose is wrong.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

I laugh at my own jokes because I am my target audience. Y’all just happen to be there.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

Anyone who says there are no stupid questions is welcome to drop by my office. My colleagues will prove you wrong.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

Death doesn’t scare me, but a group of dogs fighting while I’m walking alone on the street does.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

My age no longer permits me to suffer for love, so if you see me sad, it’s due to lack of money.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

When the Olympics finally introduces the event “Dropping your phone and very nearly catching it but not quite” then you’ll all see me shine.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

If my cats are going to insist upon me getting up early, they’re going to have to learn how to make coffee.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

Every Reddit relationship post is like “My husband dropped a big piano on my head and when I emerged from the rubble my teeth had been replaced by the keys. Am I in the wrong?”

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

Do not EVER text while driving. Please use the giant iPad attached to your dashboard.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

Monday: The only day when you can wear the same outfit from the day before without anyone noticing.