Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

God: “I’m all-knowing but I’d rather be all-forgetting.”

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

I hate that I present as an independent woman who doesn’t need any help. It’s a facade. Help me.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

ROMO (relief of missing out)

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

Parenthood is so crazy. We’re really out here getting bullied by the people we made.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

When I take a walk, I bring dog treats and people treats. I almost never mix them up.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

Can’t believe, as a kid, I thought 21-year-olds had their lives figured out.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

Ordered a coffee, and the barista said, “Anything else?” and I almost said, “Stability.”

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

This gingerbread house isn’t even close to fire safety codes.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

Does anyone play Trivial Pursuit anymore, or did it retire with the encyclopedias?

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

Salt and pepper shakers add an air of mystique to any bathroom.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,476

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Messenger:

I wanna stand with you on a mountain and throw you into the sea, or whatever Savage Garden was on about.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

It’s normal that my retirement plan is 100% contingent on me finding buried treasure at some point, right?

Spotted on Threads:

I’ve learned my lesson so many times that I could be a teacher.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

I either text back right away or never, because I saw your text, replied in my head but forgot to actually type it.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

My dentist said my teeth were stained and asked if I smoke or drink coffee? I said, “I drink it.”

Broadcasted on TikTok:

I’m not well rested. Sleeping Beauty was well rested.

Seen just now on Slack:

Easy there, unsaved number.

Spotted on TikTok:

Being the introverted hopeless romantic with a high sex drive is a curse.

Going viral on X:

Confuse your doctor by putting on rubber gloves while he does.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Shout-out to my embarrassingly squeaky ass bed frame that makes me sound more popular than I actually am to my neighbors.

I’m not lazy, I’m on power saving mode.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs a power nap when you can just activate power saving mode? 💤⚡️ Lazy or efficient? You decide! 😉 #PrioritizedResting"

energy, humor, lazy, mode, power, power saving, relaxation, saving

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Don’t forget to set your clocks back to seasonal depression this weekend.

0

2 months ago

autumn, back, change, clock, clock change, clocks, daylight, daylight saving, depression, fall, forget, health, humor, joke, mental, mental health, saving, seasonal, seasonal depression, set, time, weekend
Have you tried making guacamole about it?

0

2 months ago

cooking, food, guacamole, humor, making, pun, tried, wordplay
If I buy the circus, the monkey will be the manager.

0

2 months ago

absurdity, buy, circus, humor, i, irony, joke, management, manager, monkey
At this point, I’m rooting for the aliens.

0

5 months ago

alien, aliens, humor, point, rooting, sarcasm
I came up with my passwords when I was 12, and never looked back.

0

3 months ago

12, back, came, childhood, humor, i, memory, never, nostalgia, password, passwords, procrastination, security
“Do something with your life.” Um, I am. Have you heard of a little thing called squandering?

0

2 months ago

advice, am, humor, i, life, little, motivation, procrastination, sarcasm, something, squandering, thing

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

41 shares on Instagram this month:

This meeting could have been an unread email.

50 shares on Snapchat this month:

Parents be like, “I gave you everything I had,” and by everything, they meant the collector’s edition boxed set of mental illness.

12 shares on Pinterest this month:

How coked up was the guy that came up with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?

36 shares on Discord this month:

Of course I stay hydrated. Carbohydrated.

30 shares on X this month:

That beeping of the parking assistant when you get too close to other cars. I’d like that for people.

27 shares on Discord this month:

Girl, whatever you’re going through right now, as long as you’re not pregnant, you’re gonna be fine.

40 shares on Telegram this month:

We’re living in increasingly unfergalicious times.

75 shares on YouTube this month:

The lack of a pope has got me acting wild.

59 shares on Telegram this month:

If I had a dollar for every time I didn’t know what was going on, I’d be like, why am I always getting all this money?

66 shares on Threads this month:

I took a pole and found that 100% of people in the tent were angry.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

It’s hard dating someone who has been single for a long time. Any slight inconvenience, and they’ll crawl back into their peaceful abode. No stress.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

Breaking: man who liked me first no longer likes me.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

I’m professionally employed and personally unhinged. Balance.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

Today, I started a 28-day no-swearing challenge, which I will restart tomorrow.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

Calling someone a “tough cookie” isn’t a compliment, tough cookies are literally the worst cookies.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

I’ve cut my fingernails too short and now I can’t open my shower gel. What’s the point of being well-groomed if I can’t smell like mangos?

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

Breaking news: Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

Your DM doesn’t match the Bible quote in your bio. Uh-oh.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

Having a dirty mind and an innocent face is truly a blessing.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

You guys can continue with the week, I’ve stopped here.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Snapchat:

Finally it’s Friday and I can go out. I’m putting the garbage out and I’ll be right back.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Why can’t they use deep fake technology for good instead of evil? Like taking Zoom meetings for you, stuff like that.

Just landed via Instagram:

I wasn’t made to hustle and bustle. I was made to dilly and dally.

Shared recently on Twitch:

All this suffering on earth because someone ate an apple once.

Trending via WhatsApp:

People keep inviting me to stuff. I miss the pandemic.

Making waves on X:

I’ve saved every episode of Hoarders.

Going bananas on Discord:

How do you know I’m not just a figment of your imagination?

Making waves on Facebook:

I’m a simple girl, really. I just want to watch the sunset, laugh, drink coffee, and read books. I also want a time machine and a pet dragon.

Just landed via YouTube:

I’m officially at the age where I’m not upgrading my phone until it stops working.

Just shared via Telegram:

My level of sarcasm’s gotten to a point where I don’t even know if I’m kidding or not.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m not lazy, I’m on power saving mode.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Don’t forget to set your clocks back to seasonal depression this weekend.

Have you tried making guacamole about it?

If I buy the circus, the monkey will be the manager.

At this point, I’m rooting for the aliens.

I came up with my passwords when I was 12, and never looked back.

“Do something with your life.” Um, I am. Have you heard of a little thing called squandering?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨