Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Looks like someone's ready to drop the most epic nap mix of 2021! 🎶😴 DJ Pillow and MC Blanky are about to make some serious ZZZs happen on the dance floor… I mean, bed! 💤💃 #SleepyBeats"

bed, bedtime, blanky, club, club bed, dj, DJ Pillow, humor, mc, MC Blanky, pillow, relaxation, sleep

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Can’t believe we stayed up and screamed “Happy New Year” for this shit.

2 months ago

believe, celebration, disappointment, frustration, happy, humor, late, late night, new, new year, night, party, shit, year
“You should exercise for at least 30 minutes every day”. Okay, and how much if you’re not trying to go to the Olympics?

2 months ago

30, activity, daily, daily routine, day, every, exercise, fitness, humor, least, minutes, motivation, much, okay, Olympics, routine, sarcasm, should, trying
Please don’t invite me over if you have a leather chair that’s already peeling. I will peel it some more when you’re not looking.

1 week ago

chair, humor, i, invite, leather, leather chair, looking, me, over, peel, peeling, please, prank, warning
I am like the weather. Temporarily friendly.

2 months ago

am, comparison, friendly, humor, i, mood, personality, temporary, weather, wit
Times New Roman never did anything to anybody. It was a real trooper. Then society unceremoniously dethroned it.

6 days ago

anything, dethroned, font, humor, never, new, real, roman, society, times, Times New Roman, typeface, typography
Manipulative birthday text to an ex idea: thank you for loving me briefly in the way that only you could.

5 months ago

birthday, breakup, ex, humor, idea, love, loving, manipulation, manipulative, me, only, sarcasm, text, thank

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

24 shares on X this month:

All I’m dealing with is broken people. Lord, if I’m a mechanic, please tell me.

94 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Giving every single movie I watch a five star review because it’s just such a joy to be alive.

98 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’ve spent years struggling to prove that the sunk-cost fallacy isn’t actually a fallacy. No sense in giving up now, though.

60 shares on WeChat this month:

Super excited about a brand new week of faking it.

89 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Quitting my job to focus on being in love.

62 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m seriously considering adoption. Who wants me?

77 shares on Threads this month:

This morning, like every morning, he practiced his quick draw of his finger guns in the bathroom mirror, because you just never know.

10 shares on Messenger this month:

My reality check bounced, guess I’ll have to stay insane for the time being.

60 shares on X this month:

Yesterday I went to a fight and a baseball game broke out.

88 shares on Threads this month:

I’m at the age where drinking a cup of coffee now makes me feel like Popeye scarfing down a can of spinach.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

Can I come over and figure you out?

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

A good man is hard to find, but a babysitter for Friday night is harder.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

Spider-Man, but set in rural England so he just has to walk everywhere.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

If you’re not dropping it like it’s hot, then what the hell are you doing?

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

Grammar is important. It’s the difference between feeling your nuts and feeling you’re nuts.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

I’d rather be spotted in a strip club than a Subway.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

What’s your favorite song about a white boy playing funky music?

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

Ludacris once said “If you ain’t got no money take yo’ broke ass home” and I haven’t left the house since.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

My parents often told me I would lose my own head if it wasn’t screwed on and now that I’m an adult, I want to know what tools I need to have it screwed off.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

The ideal girlfriend breaks your heart, so you go on to do great things.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Dear Aliens, Now would be a good time. Thanks!

Seen just now on TikTok:

Sex is fine, but have you ever completed every single thing on your to-do list?

Just shared via TikTok:

Attention to detail is so sexy, study me, baby.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Unfortunately, if you want to end your single life, you have to do something. So that’s not for me.

Just landed via Discord:

I think during winter we should also get to work less hours in a day, just like the sun.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Dating apps never work for me because I need at least two years of friendship charged with weird sexual tension to even consider falling in love.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m off to club bed, featuring DJ Pillow and MC Blanky.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Can’t believe we stayed up and screamed “Happy New Year” for this shit.

“You should exercise for at least 30 minutes every day”. Okay, and how much if you’re not trying to go to the Olympics?

Please don’t invite me over if you have a leather chair that’s already peeling. I will peel it some more when you’re not looking.

I am like the weather. Temporarily friendly.

Times New Roman never did anything to anybody. It was a real trooper. Then society unceremoniously dethroned it.

Manipulative birthday text to an ex idea: thank you for loving me briefly in the way that only you could.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨