Trendy Funny Quotes

  • I don’t always cook dinner but when I do, I use every pan in the kitchen.
  • I don’t carry my wallet to work because I’m afraid someone will steal it while I’m sleeping.
  • I was not prepared for my knees to sound like someone is breaking spaghetti noodles in half every time I go up the stairs.
  • Normalise following up to an ignored email with “helllooooooo?”
  • I’m upstairs and the food is downstairs. Send help.
  • I might look calm, but in my head I’ve punched you in the face three times.