Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

Men be like, “I’m sexually attracted to you as a friend.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

One pretty important part of being a dad is walking faster than the rest of your family through an airport.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

The nerve of a majority of people I meet being younger than me. How dare them?

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

This quote is invisible. Only people who masturbate a lot can read it.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

Got an email from my bank saying “is your 401k enough to retire on” and it’s like you are my bank, you know it’s not.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

The enemy of my enemy is my friend. But I’m my own worst enemy, so I guess I’m also my best friend.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

Don’t be afraid to ask questions during a job interview. It’s the best way to find out if the person you’re interviewing is a good candidate for the job.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

I do believe TikTok saves the funniest videos for late at night. There’s no way.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

It sucks that crazy people ruined wearing tinfoil hats for those of us that just did it for fashion purposes.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

If Liverpool play Real Madrid right now, both teams will lose the game.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,501

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Discord:

I’m super lazy today. It’s like normal lazy but I’m wearing a cape.

Making waves on Facebook:

They say time is the solution to every problem. I’ve been waiting for five hours already and the room is still messy.

Going viral on WeChat:

My mom sent me a text message so long I had to refill my Adderall prescription to read it.

Just shared via Threads:

A moment of silence for those who hate us but can’t unfriend us because they’re afraid of not knowing what’s happening in our lives.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I’m not lazy, I’m on energy-saving mode.

Spotted on Threads:

If I block you and you email me, you’re getting another chance.

Shared recently on Twitch:

People always ask me “Do you believe in God?” and I say of course it’s important to have self-belief.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

I hate it when I’m gossiping at work and a customer wants to be served. How rude is that?

Going viral on Facebook:

It’s funny how when you’re at work, “Go to hell” comes out as “No problem.”

Making waves on Twitch:

My tombstone will read “Hey there, I’m using WhatsApp!”.

I’m so lazy that I get jealous when it’s bedtime in other countries.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Talk about next-level laziness! 😂 Not only does this person envy sleep, but they want it at a global scale 🌎💤 #BedtimeGoals"

bedtime, country, humor, i, jealousy, lazy, procrastination, sleep

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

No, I wasn’t dancing. I got harassed by a bumble bee.

0

2 months ago

bee, bumble, bumble bee, dancing, funny moment, harassment, humor, i, misunderstanding, moment, nature
The younger generation will never know the fear and anxiety of calling your friend’s house, and their parents answer the phone.

0

5 months ago

answer, anxiety, call, calling, fear, friend’s house, friends, generation, house, know, never, parent, parents, phone, younger, younger generation
There is no actual wolf in Wolf of Wall Street.

0

2 months ago

actual, finance, humor, irony, market, movie, stock, stock market, street, wall, wall street, wolf
I tried to act normal once, worst five minutes of my life.

0

2 months ago

act, attempt, experience, i, life, minutes, normal, worst
Everything will kill you so pick something fun.

0

2 months ago

activity, choice, everything, fun, kill, life, pick, something
Picking up women at the bar and then gently setting them down.

0

2 months ago

activity, bar, date, funny activity, gently, humor, nightlife, picking, picking up, setting, women

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

55 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My default setting is sexual energy.

98 shares on TikTok this month:

Bold of me to constantly use the phrase “no worries!” when I am, in fact, constantly full of many worries.

47 shares on YouTube this month:

Going to all the Halloween parties this year as the Invisible Man.

25 shares on X this month:

I’m basically a taxi today for the kids and dogs.

29 shares on TikTok this month:

A song that hits so hard it makes you want a cigarette.

67 shares on Twitch this month:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here eating Nutella from the jar with a spoon.

17 shares on Reddit this month:

Winter. You get up, drink coffee and then it gets dark.

74 shares on WeChat this month:

Scientists say humans are the most evolved, but bears get to get fat all summer and then sleep for four months, so who’s really ahead.

88 shares on Discord this month:

It actually is crazy how many people I know would benefit from being visited by three ghosts.

57 shares on WeChat this month:

On the next episode of Hoarders, they visit my subconscious.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

Super excited about a brand new week of faking it.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

What is rizz if not swag persevering?!

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

“I’m gonna decide everyone’s pronouns and sexuality tonight. And, yes, there will be some big surprises.”

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

I had a hard time coping with the divorce. I’m fine now, but at first I was almost crazy with joy.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

So many mistakes to make, so little time.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

No thanks, social media influencers. I prefer making decisions the old-fashioned way: under the influence of alcohol.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

When I was a kid, we weren’t allowed to use our phones in school. Mainly because the cords wouldn’t reach.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

You’re in her DMs, she’s in my bed whining that it’s too cold. Can you come get her?

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

Goodnight Outlook, goodnight Teams, goodnight Zoom.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

Age is just a number that you keep off of Facebook after 35.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on YouTube:

I don’t rise and shine. I caffeinate and hope.

Spotted on Facebook:

I’m not gaining weight, I’m retaining candy.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

I bought a 12 year old whiskey. His parents are furious.

Going bananas on X:

Most puns make me feel numb, but math puns make me feel number.

Trending via Threads:

I love saying “my man” and not his name, so when I get a new one, nobody knows.

Trending via X:

How did we decide to go with cockpit?

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

If my TV’s so smart then why doesn’t it slap me when I turn on the news?

Going bananas on Reddit:

I stopped adding “Let me know if you have any more questions!” to my emails because don’t email me again.

Trending via Telegram:

I often choose gift bags instead of wrapping, not just out of laziness, but also because I have the fine motor skills of a drunken panda.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I wish men had sluttier outfit options. Because why am I in a mini skirt, and you’re in a quarter zip?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m so lazy that I get jealous when it’s bedtime in other countries.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

No, I wasn’t dancing. I got harassed by a bumble bee.

The younger generation will never know the fear and anxiety of calling your friend’s house, and their parents answer the phone.

There is no actual wolf in Wolf of Wall Street.

I tried to act normal once, worst five minutes of my life.

Everything will kill you so pick something fun.

Picking up women at the bar and then gently setting them down.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨