I’m the type of husband that helps his wife look for her missing chocolate that I ate.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

Maybe her DMs haven’t been working for 2 months.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

The perfect number of cats is two stupid cats. Preferably siblings. But they can’t both be the same type of stupid. One needs to be stupid (dumb) and one needs to be stupid (annoying).

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Please don’t be mean to me, because I can be meaner and I hate being mean.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

Went fishing and actually caught a fish. So now I gotta deal with this shit.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

A blind guy felt my face and said, “Wonderful.”

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

Someone was saying that social media makes you miss out on your real life, but have you seen real life?

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

I hate when people ask me what I meant by something. Listen, I have no idea. I’m as confused here as you are. We’re both learning what I’m about to say at the exact same time.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

Relationship status: you’d think something called a Roomba would be a better dancer.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

You come from dust and you’ll return to dust, so that’s why I never dust. It could be someone I know.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

Caffeine is not enough anymore, I need to chew on a power line.