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Oh, the classic case of the mysterious disappearing chocolate! 🍫😂 This husband takes the term "partners in crime" quite literally – even if it means searching high and low for a missing treat that's already made its way into his belly! 🕵️‍♂️😋 #MarriageMysteries

chocolate, help, husband, i, missing, relationship, snack, wife

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

That sound when you close the cupboard and hear something fall inside, that’s the sound of somebody else’s problem.

1 month ago
close, cupboard, fall, hear, humor, inside, problem, relatable, somebody, something, sound
I’ve never used a semicolon with 100% confidence.

1 month ago
confidence, grammar, humor, language, never, punctuation, semicolon, used, writing
The first bowl of cereal makes you want a second, but the second makes you wish you stopped at the first.

2 months ago
appetite, bowl, breakfast, cereal, eating, regret, second, snack, stopped, want, wish
You get your hands on a real serious pair of scissors and wonder what the hell they were doing with the regular ones.

4 months ago
comparison, doing, frustration, funny observation, hands, hell, humor, observation, ones, pair, real, regular, scissor, scissors, serious, tool, wonder
If a demon ever possessed me, I’d just sit back and say, “Your problem now.”

4 months ago
attitude, back, demon, ever, humor, ID, just, me, possessed, possession, problem, sarcasm, say, sit, wit
There’s an epidemic of people just staring at their phones in their parked cars.

1 month ago
addiction, behavior, car, cars, dependence, distraction, epidemic, funny observation, just, life, observation, parked, parked car, people, phone, phone addiction, phones, social, social behavior, staring, technology, technology dependence, urban, urban life

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

Can you lose weight by running away from your feelings?

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

The 80s were wild, man. You had bands naming themselves after predatory cats with hearing problems.

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It really is Monday every 15 minutes.

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Winter hack: Avoid the cold by never leaving your house.

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Adulthood – a never-ending story of shit you have to do.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

Why do people always assume it’s a compliment when I tell them their baby looks just like them?

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

Interviewer: “What did you learn from your previous job?” Me: “That I need a new job.”

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Channeling my inner forest ghost: hauntingly fabulous and slightly lost.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

My dogs have learned that whenever they hear the f-word in the kitchen, there’s now food on the floor.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I am convinced that some of you are failed experiments that gained sentience and escaped from a lab.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I was blinded by a goddamn deer with a shiny red nose… No, officer, I haven’t been drinking.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Are they honking at me because I’m cute or because I can’t drive.

Live now on Threads:

I don’t care what other people think of me, at least mosquitoes find me attractive.

Going viral on YouTube:

Who is praying on my downfall right now and can you stop?

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Activity Log ✨

I’m the type of husband that helps his wife look for her missing chocolate that I ate.

That sound when you close the cupboard and hear something fall inside, that’s the sound of somebody else’s problem.

I’ve never used a semicolon with 100% confidence.

The first bowl of cereal makes you want a second, but the second makes you wish you stopped at the first.

You get your hands on a real serious pair of scissors and wonder what the hell they were doing with the regular ones.

If a demon ever possessed me, I’d just sit back and say, “Your problem now.”

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I like to begin every day by looking forward to the end of the day.

Floating on a rock in space, but yeah – 9 to 5 sounds reasonable.

Remember it’s Christmas. You need to check your elf before you wreck your shelf.

Turning regret into ulcers since the day I was born.

9am: anything is possible. 2pm: maybe tomorrow.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I’m literally overstimulated with life. I need to scream on top of a mountain.

Tuesday is just Monday wearing a fake mustache.

Is there anyone here old enough to remember when typing was a class in high school?

Arab perfumes have zero chill… the entire street knows you’ve arrived.

Men who tell their woman she’s pretty, for no particular reason, keep that shit up.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

The invention of locks was a key turning point in history.

Dance like China isn’t watching.

They hooked up tubes and sensors, but the doctor still can’t figure out why my kisses are so sweet. They want to hold me overnight and “never let go.”

That awkward moment when you gently throw your phone onto your bed and it decides to bounce off 3 walls, knock over a lamp, and land on the floor.

My mood is currently on “shuffle”.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Weird me out? No. You’ve weirded me in. Let’s merge souls.

She poured the milk before the cereal. It was not meant to be.

Hello, my voicemail is currently unavailable. To leave a message please speak slowly and clearly into the nearest toaster.

Screen time so high, I should send another risky message and then ignore my cell phone for three days.

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I’m the type of husband that helps his wife look for her missing chocolate that I ate.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

That sound when you close the cupboard and hear something fall inside, that’s the sound of somebody else’s problem.

I’ve never used a semicolon with 100% confidence.

The first bowl of cereal makes you want a second, but the second makes you wish you stopped at the first.

You get your hands on a real serious pair of scissors and wonder what the hell they were doing with the regular ones.

If a demon ever possessed me, I’d just sit back and say, “Your problem now.”

There’s an epidemic of people just staring at their phones in their parked cars.

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Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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