Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

Why did they call it painting your toenails and not graffeeti?

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

I’m having an orange, and the dogs keep looking at me like, “stop eating that ball, dude.”

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

I wonder if my guardian angel and my future husband’s guardian angel are in a group chat trying to coordinate.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

Nonchalant men are not for me. I want mine to have a panic attack if we’re not talking.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

Life is like a box of chocolates. More expensive than I was expecting.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

If I ever die on some hill, rest assured, something fishy is going on.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

It’s weird when you realize that what you thought was rock bottom was actually somewhere around rock middle.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

In a relationship with my heated car seat.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

Maybe one day a street will be named after me. Or a school. Or a mental hospital.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

I’ve left my past behind me, so if I owe you money, sorry, I’ve left it behind me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,502

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WeChat:

Ctrl Alt delete my fat.

Freshly posted on Discord:

If you want to complain about my driving at least calm down and get off my hood first.

Making waves on X:

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.

Making waves on X:

Social media is mental suicide.

Trending via Twitch:

When Chuck Norris was born, the doctor got slapped.

Seen just now on TikTok:

For the record, I use a turntable.

Going bananas on X:

If you want people to have kind words when you pass, you should say kind words when you’re alive.

Just landed via Facebook:

I will not stop replying with gifs. I am a Millennial, it’s my birthright.

Just landed via Pinterest:

If I were an organ, I’d fail.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

My bad habits got renewed for another season.

In America we have marijuana. In France they have oui’d.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Looks like Americans like to blaze it up while the French prefer to oui oui the day away! 🇺🇸🌿🇫🇷😉 #CulturalDifferences #Punny"

America, culture, france, humor, marijuana, oui, wordplay

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Guess I’ll be getting the same thing for Christmas, again. Fat!

0

3 weeks ago

again, Christmas, fat, getting, gift, guess, holiday, humor, joke, repetition, same, self-deprecation, thing
Flirting is easy until it’s someone you actually like.

0

6 months ago

actually, attraction, communication, crush, dating, easy, flirting, humor, love, nervousness, relationship, someone
Not eating the cookie I’m craving. I better wake up skinny tomorrow.

0

2 months ago

better, cookie, craving, diet, eating, humor, i, loss, motivation, self-control, skinny, temptation, tomorrow, wake, weight, weight loss
Whenever an insect rides for miles on my car, I imagine it thinking: “Oh crap, moving again!”

0

2 months ago

again, car, humor, i, imagination, imagine, insect, miles, moving, oh, perspective, road, road trip, thinking, travel, trip, whenever
We can do things two ways. My way or the right way.

0

2 months ago

choice, decision, funny quip, humor, quip, right, right way, suggestion, things, ways
Remember: when a band skips your city on tour, it is always personal and they always hate you specifically.

0

2 months ago

always, band, city, disappointment, feelings, hate, humor, music, personal, remember, tour

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

43 shares on Threads this month:

I hate it when I’m gossiping at work and a customer wants to be served. How rude is that?

13 shares on Slack this month:

You ever notice how fans of the worst music always focus on the meanings of the songs instead of the actual music?

13 shares on Telegram this month:

The question of whether an employer values its employees is sometimes answered by the toilet paper.

43 shares on Discord this month:

My favorite unit of measurement is smithereens.

100 shares on X this month:

The worst part about being drunk and seeing double is when you realize it’s just one slice of pizza.

27 shares on Messenger this month:

According to my kids’ Christmas lists, they think this parenting gig pays pretty well.

16 shares on TikTok this month:

We’d all look younger if we just avoided young people.

67 shares on Messenger this month:

She asked to see where the magic happens, so I showed her my sandwich maker.

16 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Apple juice tastes like it wants to be alcohol, but it’s too shy.

78 shares on YouTube this month:

Just because I can’t sing doesn’t mean I won’t sing.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

I use a headshot from 2008 on my LinkedIn to prepare future employers for disappointment.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

My dad told my sister’s new boyfriend to stand at the end of the picture so he can crop him out whenever she dumps him.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

Having a girlfriend is insane because you can literally go to touch them, and they will let you.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

I made you something special for Mother’s Day, my kid threatened.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

My daughter’s morning alarm is less to wake her up, and more to warn the rest of us.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

I’ve finally found out what chronology is. And it’s about time.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

What’s a girl gotta do to feel a dopamine high around here?

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

Watching a movie and using a laser pointer to indicate where my fellow viewers should be looking for an optimal viewing experience.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

I don’t trust anyone who gets enraged over messed-up fast food orders.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

If I turned into a “teen wolf”, my first order of business would definitely be helping my basketball team get to the local championships.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

I quit boxing the moment I realized my opponent was allowed to punch me in the face, too.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Yesterday I wore something from 5 years ago and it actually fit. So proud of myself. It was a scarf, but still, let’s be positive here.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

I think humans are meant to lay in bed with the love of their life all winter.

Shared recently on Twitch:

“Boy, you made these perimenopausal ovaries come back to life,” – me flirting.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Will someone please make me drink some water and limit my screen time?

Freshly posted on Threads:

People think I forgot the shit they said. Ain’t no expiration date on disrespect.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

If he has other girls who make him smile, be different and make him cry.

Making waves on X:

I talk a lot of shit for someone who turns every black shirt into an abstract deodorant mural.

Trending via YouTube:

Please be nice to me. I’m in my twenties. Do you know what that does to a person?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

In America we have marijuana. In France they have oui’d.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Guess I’ll be getting the same thing for Christmas, again. Fat!

Flirting is easy until it’s someone you actually like.

Not eating the cookie I’m craving. I better wake up skinny tomorrow.

Whenever an insect rides for miles on my car, I imagine it thinking: “Oh crap, moving again!”

We can do things two ways. My way or the right way.

Remember: when a band skips your city on tour, it is always personal and they always hate you specifically.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨