Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • I hate it when people threaten to come over. Now I’ve got to do 2 years of housework in 30 minutes.
  • Me to alien: I, too, try to live among people undetected.
  • I like to put “No DMs” in my bio to pretend that I’m attractive.
  • Messed up and threw a surprise party for my minimalist friend. Now 25 of us are hiding behind the granite orb.
  • When I was a young boy, the doctor told me I had a lazy eye. By the time I was 50, it had spread to the rest of my body.
  • My brain has too many tabs open.