Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

Parenting just means you have to pretend you like to eat fruits and vegetables in front of your kids, knowing you’d rather eat a cheeseburger instead.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

Socks teach us that being made for each other does not mean being together.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

Go ahead. Order anything you want. Money is no object when we dine at IKEA.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

I usually don’t flirt, so if I flirt with you, please cooperate.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

Due to personal reasons, I’ve decided to become your problem.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

Fishing for compliments like “I’m a mess in this photo that I took all morning to get the right angle and filter and after 50 selfies this is me”.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

Spell your crush’s name backwards, mine is yenom.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

I just want someone to miss me the way my 3 year old nephew misses me when I go to the washroom.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

Date idea: you tell me every thought you’ve ever had about me.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

Grocery shopping before Christmas is a nightmare. My milk expired while I was waiting in line.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

4,077

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Reddit:

It’s like 10,000 yawns when all you need is a nap.

Just landed via Threads:

Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarfs aren’t happy.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Please don’t delete your post. Yes, it was pretty stupid, but my reply to it was a masterpiece.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Weird. I’m the only one naked at this gender reveal party.

Trending via Facebook:

I have noticed something quite worrying: after I buy more things I have less money.

Just landed via Messenger:

Good luck sending me mixed signals. Most the time I can’t even understand the direct ones.

Just shared via Pinterest:

If you’re late for work, don’t forget to look mad when you walk in.

Freshly posted on Discord:

“You’re a cougar!” God forbid a woman gives back to the youth.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Nothing flies faster than the ketchup out of the bottle when you only want a little.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I don’t mind being fully naked or my top half being naked, but I hate being naked from the waist down only. This is why I could never be a cartoon duck.

It’s not that I want more shoes, it’s just that they keep making them in my size.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Well, if the shoe fits… buy it in every color! It's not a shopping spree, it's a practical solution to a sizing problem."

desire, fashion, humor, just, making, shoe, shopping, size, want

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

There’s an epidemic of people just staring at their phones in their parked cars.

0

2 months ago

addiction, behavior, car, cars, dependence, distraction, epidemic, funny observation, just, life, observation, parked, parked car, people, phone, phone addiction, phones, social, social behavior, staring, technology, technology dependence, urban, urban life
“Date” is just another word for: Jeez, had I known that before, I would have stayed home.

0

2 months ago

another, before, date, disappointment, expectation, home, humor, i, just, relationship, word
A man outside Boots told me that Jesus died for my sins. Thanks for spoiling the end of the Bible. I was only up to the bit with the fish.

0

2 months ago

bible, bit, Boots, died, end, fish, humor, i, irony, Jesus, man, me, outside, religion, sins, spoiler, thanks, told, witty
You can always tell when someone is on a diet by how they scrape every last bit from that yogurt container.

0

2 months ago

always, bit, container, diet, eating, eating habits, every, food, habits, humor, last, scrape, someone, tell, yogurt
Mayor of a small town is such a wild job. It’s like being the president of a country where you went to high school with the whole population.

0

2 months ago

being, community, country, high, high school, humor, job, mayor, politics, population, president, school, small, small town, town, where, whole, wild, wild job
My favourite animal is me when I have money.

0

5 months ago

animal, favorite, favourite, humor, i, me, money, self-love, wealth

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

94 shares on Snapchat this month:

If I were God, I’d tell everyone that I created the animals and that I don’t know what happened after that.

28 shares on Reddit this month:

The worst thing you can do when you notice your kids are playing nicely together is telling them that they’re playing nicely together.

78 shares on Pinterest this month:

I woke up alive again.

40 shares on Messenger this month:

Christmas lights: the only thing bright around here besides my personality.

93 shares on TikTok this month:

Release that sexual frustration, get a burger.

64 shares on Facebook this month:

“I can’t possibly lose this if I put it here” I say to myself before completely forgetting where here is.

88 shares on Facebook this month:

Diet tip: Your pants can’t get too tight if you never wear any.

42 shares on TikTok this month:

Porn is free, so why are you in my DMs?

99 shares on TikTok this month:

I would like you to meet my significant other. Her name is Cheese.

62 shares on TikTok this month:

My son loves Monty Python. My work here is done.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

My wife refuses to hire a housekeeper because she doesn’t want them to see this mess.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

My superpower? Staying calm when talking to idiots.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

Went out of town, came back and the roomba changed all the locks.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

The longer I stay home, the more homeless I look.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

I didn’t just turn into a grouchy old woman overnight. It took years of people letting me down, pissing me off, and dealing with idiots to get this good at it.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

Forgetting your phone at home is the modern equivalent of leaving your sword behind in medieval times.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

Dance like nobody’s watching, except God, the NSA, and Santa Claus.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

Proudly doing my part to cause the male loneliness epidemic.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

Girl, he’s nonchalant because he doesn’t like you. He’s definitely chalanting somewhere else.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

I’m doing pretty good for someone who rarely has a clue.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Discord:

Frodo is a beautiful name for a boy. Has a ring to it.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

My trauma is between me and this bartender. The rest of you, mind your business.

Making waves on YouTube:

Adults should get spring break from their jobs.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I can’t wait to open my phone tomorrow and find out what we’re mad about next.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Everyone hates on the dentist but at least they don’t try to weigh you.

Going viral on Discord:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here pumping gas until the dollar amount ends with 0.

Making waves on Reddit:

Your in his DMs, I’m on Etsy paying a witch to put a spell on him.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Paid my rent and slept in every room of my house this week, kitchen and laundry room next.

Trending via Telegram:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I never wanted to download the Microsoft Authenticator app on my personal phone to access every professional platform necessary to do my job.

Shared recently on X:

I really thought impromptu dance-offs were going to be more common.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

It’s not that I want more shoes, it’s just that they keep making them in my size.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

There’s an epidemic of people just staring at their phones in their parked cars.

“Date” is just another word for: Jeez, had I known that before, I would have stayed home.

A man outside Boots told me that Jesus died for my sins. Thanks for spoiling the end of the Bible. I was only up to the bit with the fish.

You can always tell when someone is on a diet by how they scrape every last bit from that yogurt container.

Mayor of a small town is such a wild job. It’s like being the president of a country where you went to high school with the whole population.

My favourite animal is me when I have money.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨