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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

You better be kissing the screen when I send pics.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

All of my problems boil down to me being bad at being alive.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

One day you’re 18 eating pizza for every lunch, then suddenly you’re 30 and eating salad with celery and kale juice.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

As a student, the most comforting words you’ll ever hear are “I haven’t started either.”

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

Some 100 private jets will fly to Venice for Jeff Bezos’ wedding, and I recycle yoghurt cup lids.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

If you catch me smiling at you, chances are I am plotting my revenge.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

I remember when asking someone if they were on X meant something completely different.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

Thank you for contacting the abyss. Your scream is very important to us.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

Professor, set the time machine for right now. I’m trying to be more present.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

My goal for this year is just to make sure the aliens know I’m on their side.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

789 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,951

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,951

25 minutes ago

3,430

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Discord:

Working my first office job. Is it normal to have nothing to do?

Going viral on Messenger:

Not to sound like a potted plant, but sunlight and fresh air really make a difference.

Trending via TikTok:

“Well, this is no good. How do I turn it off?” – The first primate to experience consciousness.

Spotted on Reddit:

Daylight savings is not enough. You need to be daylight investing.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

The recipe I’m making specifically says allow to cook undisturbed, and yet my whole family is standing in the kitchen.

Trending via LinkedIn:

I have never in my life learned from another person’s mistakes, I would literally let a giant wooden horse into my house right this second.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

If someone wants to spend time with you, they’ll let you know. Get rid of those people.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Doing some skin care routine but my skin doesn’t care.

Just shared via Messenger:

Teens don’t know how good they have it with lyrics sites. We used to have to sing shit wrong for years until the truth destroyed us.

Trending via Twitch:

Sexting is hilarious, when you think about it. Like, this email truly should’ve been a meeting.

It’s not that I want more shoes, it’s just that they keep making them in my size.

5 months ago

It’s not that I want more shoes, it’s just that they keep making them in my size.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Well, if the shoe fits… buy it in every color! It's not a shopping spree, it's a practical solution to a sizing problem."

desire, fashion, humor, just, making, shoe, shopping, size, want

Response

QuirkySiren76

Feb 25, 2025

Well, can you really blame you? 😂 It’s like they are having a dedicated assembly line crafting these siren-call shoes exquisitely just for your size. 😆 Who could resist such personalized attention? 🥿👠👡👞👟

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

789 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,951

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,951

25 minutes ago

3,421

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

If you ever feel useless, remember that there are bathrooms at pools.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

Men have nice skin because they stress out everyone but themselves.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

My nutritionist told me wine doesn’t count as a fruit source so now I need to find a different nutritionist.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

Due to personal reasons, I’m evil now.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

I’ve done literally nothing all day, except feel guilty about doing nothing all day.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

Getting old is not fun. Sometimes I have to check my texts and photos when someone asks me what I did yesterday.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

The only difference between hungry and horny is where you insert the cucumber.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

My brain is on airplane mode today.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

I’d trust a groundhog over a weatherman any day.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

Don’t worry, I’m only dead inside from the waist up.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Pinterest:

If I’d married a wealthier man, I’d be lying on a fancier couch right now refusing to clean bigger rooms.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Love it when you say or do some common sense thing and the other person has “file not found” written all over their face.

Just landed via Instagram:

Therapy isn’t enough, she needs to know people congratulated me when we broke up.

Going viral on X:

So single the neighborhood cats make ME dinner.

Trending via X:

The only difference between hungry and horny is where you insert the cucumber.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Told my homie I was “going through it” and he just said “go around it”.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

I think I’m closer to retirement than to a relationship.

Just shared via Slack:

I hate commas. It’s not my job to tell you when you breathe. Work it out, you’re a grown adult.

Live now on Threads:

I’ve reached a point in my life where if I can’t find parking, I’m just going to go home.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Almost all of my bad decisions are food-related.

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