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Commentary:
"Remember folks, being unique is cool and all, but if you can't hang a shelf straight or find your keys, your friends might start questioning your usefulness 🤷‍♂️🔑#SpecialButPracticallyUseless"

humor, individuality, irony, just, self-awarenes, unique, useful

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

They should name a personality disorder after me.

0

2 months ago

after, disorder, me, name, personality, should
Got me some lemons now for the cold. I hope the tequila helps.

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2 months ago

alcohol, cold, drink, help, hope, humor, i, lemon, lemons, me, remedy, tequila, winter
So we have actual fact checkers who know all the facts? Why not create a TV channel where they just give us the facts? We could call it the News.

0

2 months ago

actual, call, channel, checker, create, fact, fact checker, facts, give, humor, information, just, know, media, news, sarcasm, truth, TV, TV channel, us, where, why
You can’t spell disappointment without me.

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2 months ago

disappointment, humor, irony, me, self-deprecation, spell, wordplay
Cake hits so much harder off a plastic fork.

0

2 months ago

cake, dessert, eat, enjoyment, food, fork, harder, humor, much, plastic, plastic fork
As long as you’re still fishing fruit flies out of your drink, you’re not drunk.

0

2 months ago

alcohol, drink, drunk, fishing, fly, fruit, fruit fly, humor, party, perspective, still

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

27 shares on Slack this month:

Socks try to be monogamous, but most end up either single or having multiple different partners.

91 shares on Instagram this month:

I used to look for monsters under the bed. Today I know they are behind some people’s fake smiles.

62 shares on LinkedIn this month:

For Halloween I will go to the beach dressed as a french fry and let the seagulls destroy me.

45 shares on Pinterest this month:

I would like to thank everyone who destroyed me into the person I am today.

59 shares on X this month:

Don’t mispronounce anything next to me and think I didn’t hear it.

86 shares on Discord this month:

(Most depressed guy you’ve ever met) I’m doing pretty good.

97 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m like … if parking too far away from the curb was a person.

11 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My plan is to die young as late as possible.

91 shares on Messenger this month:

A weighted blanket isn’t enough today, I need to be compressed into a zip-file.

72 shares on Threads this month:

Employees should have to take their boss’s last name.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

I’m busy watching the vegan couple next door arguing about the Big Mac wrapper I hid in their trash can.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

If you watch Home Alone backwards it’s a loving story about a kid that heals two men that were savagely beaten.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

If you comment to say “No comment,” you have, in fact, commented.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

Telling men I have a boyfriend doesn’t chase them away anymore, so I’ve started telling them I have a child.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

Why do plane tickets have to be so expensive? You’re literally going that way anyway. Just give me a ride.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

They just don’t put milkshakes in the yard like they used to.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

If I were god, I would’ve rested all 7 days.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

The way that we’re constantly told not to eat silica gel makes me suspect that it contains all the world’s forbidden knowledge.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

Zoom is really only for one thing: realizing our dream of staring at ourselves while talking to other people.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

Actually, it’s illegal to be upset if you make a date on Halloween and they ghost you.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Instagram:

Living la vida taco!

Spotted on Facebook:

At my funeral, sit me up so I can see who’s talking to my man.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Due to personal reasons, I’ve decided to become your problem.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

It’s a good thing Titanic is only a movie. A lot of people would’ve died.

Going viral on Threads:

Are you my pinky toe, because I will bang you on all my furniture.

Spotted on Reddit:

Fellas, be sure to never ask a lady any questions on a date. This makes them feel interrogated. Strong declarative statements only.

Making waves on Facebook:

I try not to laugh at my own jokes, but we all know I’m hilarious.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Never understood why people train their dogs to sit pretty or roll over when there are useful tricks like empty the dishwasher or fold the laundry.

Spotted on WeChat:

I don’t care for the term drug mule, why can’t it be a drug unicorn.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

My boyfriend just said “I encourage you to try all things” to our cat who was licking up Buffalo sauce.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Just because you are unique, doesn’t mean you are useful.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

They should name a personality disorder after me.

Got me some lemons now for the cold. I hope the tequila helps.

So we have actual fact checkers who know all the facts? Why not create a TV channel where they just give us the facts? We could call it the News.

You can’t spell disappointment without me.

Cake hits so much harder off a plastic fork.

As long as you’re still fishing fruit flies out of your drink, you’re not drunk.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨