Just because you are unique, doesn’t mean you are useful.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

I wish I could join, but I’m busy plotting revenge because my kids laughed when I showed them I can shake it better than Shakira.

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An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor is cute, forget the fruit.

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The great thing about having a mouse in your house is that I’m sure it’s just the one mouse, probably.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

Leave me alone, man. I’m just living my life like a candle in the wind.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

All the fruit flies are well-behaved near the garbage, only one is constantly nagging somewhere else because it thinks it has to discover new lands.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

It probably feels so good to ram your head into something as a cat.

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If you relate to me, get some help!

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

I’m delusional but self-aware, I call that Delaware.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

I am writing a book about reverse psychology. Please don’t buy it.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

My kids act like they’re afraid of monsters, when they are literally the most terrifying creatures I’ve ever met.