Trendy Funny Quotes

  • How you conduct yourself when using plastic wrap is the real you.
  • Do we barbecue with women or without salad?
  • Being lazy has its advantages. I still have most of my winter fat from last year.
  • I sign all anniversary cards with ‘Way to commit to the bit!’
  • Sitting on the middle seat of this flight and both my seatmates are reading my book over my shoulder. Should I just start reading it aloud?
  • Whenever I see an athlete eating quark, I get sad, because the quark could have been turned into cheesecake.