Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

Cracking the ice cubes out probably feels so good for the ice tray.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

Lucky for me, I don’t have enough friends for an intervention.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

A plus of getting older is not having to make as much small talk because half the conversation is spent asking the other person to repeat what they just said.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

My shadow quit because I’m too boring.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

Trying to explain to my cat why she can’t jump off the balcony, even though I want to as well.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

Someone asked me how much I normally spend on a bottle of wine. Answering “usually an hour” wasn’t the right answer. I know this now.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

I’m not mad, I just hope your socks slide off in your shoe all day.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

Going to the bathroom at night with my flashlight on and a dog next to me feels like I’m gonna solve a mystery.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

I do not use AI, I use Reddit commenters’ opinions as fact because they are right.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

I’m the kind of introvert who dodges phone calls but sends paragraphs in texts.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Dec 30, 2025

3,602

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on X:

I love when I clean my whole apartment just to sit in it like a Victorian widow waiting for bad news.

Trending via Reddit:

My biggest sexual fantasy is someone throwing a million dollars on my naked body and then leaving me alone.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Serious replies to silly posts are now illegal. Go talk to your wife.

Trending via WeChat:

The older I get, the more I respect Sleeping Beauty. She took one look at the world and said, “Nah.”

Trending via Threads:

Don’t understand why electricians aren’t called power rangers, but okay.

Just landed via TikTok:

They give smokers all those breaks to make up for the time taken off their lifespan.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

In your 20s, you will be tempted to prove that you’re doing well. It’s important you resist performing for an audience that isn’t watching.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

What a lot of people don’t understand about mountain climbing is that don’t do that.

Just shared via YouTube:

Life is just a series of obstacles preventing you from reading your book.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I deserve a percentage of your pay if you ever stole any swag from me.

Man Launches Thrilling New Game: ‘Deliver Me Dinner’

BOULDER—Tech visionary Greg Mulholland introduced an electrifying new game called ‘Deliver Me Dinner’ this week. “The concept is simple,” explained Mulholland. “You bring me food and I eat it.”

Players nationwide are buzzing with excitement. Enthusiast Mary Robins said, “I’ve played twice today, but he never ate the broccoli. It’s like Russian roulette with leftovers!”

Bring Me Food Co., Mulholland’s startup, plans to release spinoffs: ‘Feed the Kids’ and ‘Chef Roulette.’ Early concepts include mulberry jam endurance testing and a surprise visit from Mulholland himself at dinnertime.

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

38 shares on Threads this month:

Dark mode changed me. White screens now feel like staring into the sun.

42 shares on Telegram this month:

Whoever named rice cakes is probably also responsible for Paris, Texas.

90 shares on TikTok this month:

An email so annoying, you wanna return the computer to the store.

92 shares on Threads this month:

I miss my kids the most when they go to bed and the mosquitoes go after me because they have no other options.

72 shares on X this month:

Currently helping my husband look for his $20 I spent yesterday.

45 shares on X this month:

So glad that the dream I had of you isn’t affecting me at all, and I’m able to go on with my day without thinking of it.

11 shares on Facebook this month:

Women are like apples; I like biting them.

30 shares on Slack this month:

I am half agony, half hope.

37 shares on WeChat this month:

In your 20s and 30s, you’ll start rediscovering the niche interests and hobbies you had as a kid. It’s very important you revisit them. Your younger self was actually on to something.

77 shares on Snapchat this month:

Went on a date with a guy who didn’t ask me any questions about myself, so it’s on him when he finds out about my husband.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

If a tree falls on your ex in the woods and no one’s around to hear it, you should probably still get rid of the chainsaw.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Who called it a shopaholic and not a boughtanist?

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t know if I’m pregnant or what, but I’ve been craving 3 million dollars so bad.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s an app for the people who say they’re not seeking some form of validation here. It’s called a diary.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Meow means woof in cat.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

The heels stay on during sex because I only painted the toe nails that were showing.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone thinks they’re brave right up until a goose starts chasing them.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m lazy and chubby. I love food, naps, and coffee. I don’t like Mondays, people, and exercise. I never thought I would grow up to be Garfield.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I get unreasonably happy when a YouTube video has subtitles that aren’t auto-generated.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Does anyone else stare at the dead body in movies to see if you can catch them breathing?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,646

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

I left the house with wet hair and no makeup on, so I’m sure I’ll run into everyone I know.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

I think airplanes would be way cooler if the wings flapped like a bird.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

UK rappers be like “I’ve got a posh flat and my bird is very comely, I own more motors than the marchioness of cholmondeley”

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

When I get married, I want my wedding video to be filmed like it’s an episode of The Office. I want camera zooms, eye contact, side commentary— all of it.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

My whole life just flashed before my eyes and there was way too much pizza.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

Enjoying the consequences of my actions.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

I don’t mind being fully naked or my top half being naked, but I hate being naked from the waist down only. This is why I could never be a cartoon duck.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

Hello, boyfriend? It’s me, girlfriend, from dating?

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

Does no one disappear in the Bermuda Triangle anymore, or is there just too much other news?

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

What’s the point of having sex dreams if you always wake up just when it’s getting down to business?

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Accidentally turned my clocks back too far and ended up at a Wham concert.

Just landed via Discord:

I’m going to become more attractive or more delusional; I haven’t decided yet.

Going viral on Messenger:

Quitting my job to pursue my true passion: not having a job.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Went outside. Touched grass. Got bit by bugs. Zero stars.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Dear LOL, thanks for being there when I have nothing else to say.

Trending via WeChat:

Having to pee really puts things into perspective. Like, OK, none of this matters.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

The only thing Flat Earthers have to fear is sphere itself.

Trending via Discord:

What does my tattoo mean? It means I couldn’t be trusted with $200 when I was 18.

Making waves on TikTok:

If I get rid of social media, how will I know what everyone ate for dinner?

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Can someone please invent 8 hours between 9 p.m. and midnight?

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