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"Time to dive into the season of sun, tan lines, and endless possibilities! 🌞🕶️ Say goodbye to work and hello to relaxation – it's summertime, baby! 🏖️😎 #SummerGoals #NoMoreWorkBlues"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

Of course the laundry has to be done, but the wine doesn’t drink itself either.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

My main takeaway from ‘The Walking Dead’ is that you can still eat the expired canned goods in your pantry.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

If you see me sad, just hug me and put some money in my pocket.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

The more I parent the more convinced I am that the ears on toddlers are purely for decoration.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

If you’re the type of person who likes to be left alone, I’m with you. Better yet, I’m not with you.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

At my age I don’t sleep, I nap between pee breaks.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

My computer: Consider changing your password. Me: Consider fighting me in the streets.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

This is not what adulthood looked like in the brochure.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

You sound unhinged. Let’s go get mugshots.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

If they played poker with potato chips, I’d have a gambling problem.

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Just landed via X:

Befuddlingly, a palm tree won’t fit in your hand.

Trending via WeChat:

Getting an extra 20 minutes in the day when someone cancels a meeting is like finding a penny on the ground. Not gonna use it for anything, but wow, am I excited.

Reported on Messenger:

The urge to say “yeah, you should do that”, especially when you have no clue.

Just landed via Discord:

“What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger!” Oh, it’s ok, you can just kill me next time.

Making waves on Instagram:

As long as everything is exactly the way I want it, I’m totally flexible.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

The closest thing I’ve had to a personal trainer is the ice cream truck that drove past my house.

Just landed via Threads:

All the stops on the bus are pointless, except the one I’m getting off at.

Spotted on Telegram:

I’m not tispy. I’m merry.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I don’t push people away, I just do the Macarena.

Spotted on Telegram:

At what point in not being able to sleep do I throw the towel in and have a beer, since maybe that will help?

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Maybe I’ll quit so I can focus on summer.

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Forget being the bigger person, I’m going to just start barking at people.

Me (seductively looking at a potato): would mash.

I think we all know who to blame for the generation of parents who put too many Ys in their kids’ names. Lynyrd Skynyrd.

If you collect the crumbs from one Nature Valley granola bar, you can make three more granola bars.

God invented war so that Americans can learn geography.

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All my passwords are protected, by my poor memory.

My favorite dance move is trying to get out of my own way.

If Shakespeare were being born today, he’d be “Shaxxespyr.”

Seems like being an asshole is a full-time job for some.

Anyone else who tells their pets every time they leave the house that they’ll be back soon?

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Hate all political parties and you’ll never be disappointed.

I’m sick of living through history!

I didn’t expect to have such strong feelings when the subtitles said “smooching” while the actors were kissing.

I don’t usually think about what I say before I say it. I prefer to think about it after I’ve said it, late at night, for the rest of my life.

Violence is not the answer, unless you’re a gaggle of children instructed to break into a piñata.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Alexa, tell Roomba to get the spider.

And what do we do when we are sad? “Add to cart”

Don’t ever get excited if your kid likes a new food. They won’t like it tomorrow.

Sometimes I do something completely out of character, like say no to a slice of pizza, or trust someone.

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Maybe I’ll quit so I can focus on summer.

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