KNOXVILLE—In a landmark decision, America agreed to a nationwide moment of silence to mourn all tasks on to-do lists left unfinished. “It’s the least we could do for the neglected dusting and unpaid bills,” said organizer Linda Bray. “And maybe the guilt will motivate us to actually tick something off.”

During the silent observance, participants were seen reflecting deeply, presumably on all promises they’d rather not keep. “It’s a somber occasion,” admitted Knoxville resident Todd Gleeson. “Kind of like a wake, but for my intention to organize my basement. I promise I’ll get to it next year.”

As the moment concluded, many were swept with a wave of relief, knowing they had momentarily acknowledged their personal failures. “My chores felt appreciated for once,” laughed area woman Sharon Lyons. Additional silent tributes are now planned for important commitments, like New Year’s resolutions and long-forgotten gym memberships.