Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Carrots: the silent danger lurking in your salad bowl 🥕 Donuts: always ready to sweetly embrace you 🍩 Choose your snacks wisely, folks! 😉"

carrot, choking, donut, food, food preference, humor, irony, me, preference, snack

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Bro to bro: Never get your haircut on the day of a special event.

0

2 months ago

advice, bro, day, event, friendship, grooming, haircut, humor, never, special, special event
The key to looking amazing is looking like shit most of the time, so it’s more of a surprise.

0

2 months ago

amazing, appearance, beauty, casual, confidence, humor, humorist, irony, key, looking, most, self-deprecation, shit, surprise, time
It would be cool if, after you died, you could see the top 5 times you almost died.

0

2 weeks ago

5, after, afterlife, almost, cool, death, died, event, experience, humor, life, life event, near-death, near-death experience, reflection, surprise, times, top
Dude, we’re gonna be treating others how we want to be treated later if you wanna pull up.

0

2 months ago

dude, later, others, pull, treat, treated, want
Establish dominance by eating a salad in front of your indoor plants.

0

2 months ago

confidence, dominance, eating, front, humor, indoor, indoor plant, joke, nature, plant, plants, playful, quirky, salad
Am I just getting older, or are people getting more annoying?

0

2 months ago

aging, am, annoyance, annoying, getting, humor, i, just, observation, older, people, sarcasm

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

48 shares on TikTok this month:

I need a room full of mirrors because I want to be surrounded by winners.

73 shares on Telegram this month:

Thank you for the opportunity but I don’t think being human is a good fit for me. I’m going to go back to school to become an octopus.

12 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Hey! (with the intention of going back to sleep)

17 shares on Pinterest this month:

At this point, I’m not sure if my house is a mess or my mess is a house.

82 shares on Telegram this month:

Wild how we don’t get a public holiday for Wrestlemania, but okay.

90 shares on Telegram this month:

Nothing is more awkward than trying to tell an online joke to offline people.

89 shares on Twitch this month:

Men only have money the first month of dating, that’s recruitment budget, never confuse it with operational budget.

63 shares on Pinterest this month:

It would be cool if, after you died, you could see the top 5 times you almost died.

36 shares on Snapchat this month:

Turns out I am the autistic one at “movie night,” who thought you’re supposed to actually watch the movie.

75 shares on WeChat this month:

The internet is fun because you can post about mayonnaise and somehow end up in a fight.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

Frankly, I have too many situations and not enough monitors.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

The time I spend, just thinking about food, is kind of embarrassing.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

Ground beef implies the existence of sky beef.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

Slapping the TV remote on your knee extends the battery life. It’s science.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

Socialism isn’t wrong because it has compassion. It’s wrong because it doesn’t work.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

Not today, Satan, but next week works.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

The introverted urge to spend a week alone at home after many holidays and family gatherings.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

Who is praying on my downfall right now and can you stop?

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

I had a heated but interesting discussion today and they even agreed with me at the end. That’s exactly why I love talking to myself.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

First time buying fireworks, and I wasn’t sure I’d picked the right ones until the salesman gave me a wink and high-foured me.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Slack:

I like my Jims slim and my chances fat.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Dear Math, I don’t want to solve your problem, I have my own problems to solve.

Trending via Instagram:

If you see me in public, it’s AI.

Live now on Messenger:

I haven’t posted a selfie in a while, but I’m still very cute. Just to keep you updated.

Seen just now on Slack:

Always funny to see motivational posts from people I know are toxic in real life.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Damn, didn’t win the lottery. It’s messing up my budget plan.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Most men will receive their first bunch of flowers at their funeral.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I don’t dress for women. I don’t dress for men. I dress for the weather, mainly.

Breaking via WeChat:

Cleaning the rocks of the earth one load of my kids’ laundry at a time.

Going bananas on Instagram:

I’m planning to save money on Christmas gifts this year by wrapping up all the toys my toddler dropped behind the couch.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Nearly choked on a carrot. A donut would never do that to me.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Bro to bro: Never get your haircut on the day of a special event.

The key to looking amazing is looking like shit most of the time, so it’s more of a surprise.

It would be cool if, after you died, you could see the top 5 times you almost died.

Dude, we’re gonna be treating others how we want to be treated later if you wanna pull up.

Establish dominance by eating a salad in front of your indoor plants.

Am I just getting older, or are people getting more annoying?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨