Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

He doesn’t realize it yet, but this Saturday, I’ll be asking him to untangle 400 feet of Christmas lights.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

When you say “You’re going to hate me for this,” you’re making a very large assumption that I don’t hate you already.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

Work for a living? In this economy?

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

If I were a category, I’d be “miscellaneous.”

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

Scratching the mosquito bite on my foot? Literally orgasmic. This is the kind of stuff that the government doesn’t want you to know.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

Once you understand why pizza is made round, packed in square boxes, and eaten as a triangle, then you will understand women.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

Filling my PEZ dispenser with Ibuprofen for whimsical pain relief.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

Typos keep me humble. Every email is a gamble.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

Weekends are a scam. You spend one day exhausted and the other anxious… like, what was that?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,271

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Slack:

Just accidentally closed a tab I’ve had been meaning to read for the past 2 years.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Billion dollar technology idea: A printer that works.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I’m so glad when summer is over and I finally don’t have to see any feet on the internet anymore.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Naturally introverted, selectively extroverted.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Someone tongue kissed me recently in a way I can only describe as 5th base.

Making waves on YouTube:

The older I get, the more I hate making extra stops after work. I drive home like I’m late for the house.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Ever feel like you’re adulting, but only on the outside? Inside, you’re just a kid hoping someone else will make dinner.

Shared recently on Discord:

I want my name to come up when you go to confession.

Trending via YouTube:

Exercise won’t cure your depression, but it can make you hotter than your enemies.

Just landed via Facebook:

Netflix subtitles be like “speaking foreign language”. Bro, translate it!

Never lie to Indian girls. That red dot be recording everything.

7 days ago

Humorous quote about honesty, highlighting a red dot symbolizing watchful Indian girls.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Attention everyone: the red dot isn't just a fashion statement, it's also a surveillance system! 🕵️‍♀️🔴 Better watch your words around Indian girls, lest you become the star of their next reality TV show! 😂 #RedDotConfidential"

cultural, cultural reference, dot, everything, girl, honesty, humor, indian, Indian girl, lie, recording, red, red dot, reference

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

13 shares on Reddit this month:

My ducks: in a row. My elephant: addressed. My eggs: several baskets. My bigger fish: fried.

70 shares on X this month:

The difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body is that I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.

42 shares on Telegram this month:

If you accuse me of yelling, you will start to hear yelling so you can note the difference in the future.

56 shares on Twitch this month:

I remember when “disinformation” used to be called “lies.”

84 shares on Reddit this month:

“Damn, you’re tight!” I whisper as I look at my monthly budget.

35 shares on X this month:

My teen is asking for noise-cancelling headphones like I’m going to give him the gift of ignoring me better.

14 shares on YouTube this month:

The older I get, the more I understand why people live in the woods and talk to squirrels.

51 shares on Facebook this month:

If I’m too much, go find less. I’m not running a clearance sale.

72 shares on Telegram this month:

I used to think that the older you get, the wiser and more self-confident you become. I now know that you just get tired more quickly.

45 shares on Telegram this month:

Your honor, when I said I wanted to be held, I didn’t mean in contempt.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Cloud 9 is a very high place to fall from.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m doing well at accomplishing nothing today and I’m very proud of myself.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

“Nothing beats in-person interaction”. Yeah, with someone I know and love, not Denise from finance.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Somethіng wrong іn your lіfe? There’s a nap for that.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

A dating app for people who self sabotage called Hinder.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Never let your job prevent you from acting unemployed.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Has anyone seen my invisibility cloak?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry if my posts have any typos, it’s because I’m driving.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Need someone to feed me Doritos while I read, so I don’t mess up the pages. No weirdos.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

If Wonka had a spaghetti factory, I’d get sucked into a marinara river tube so fast.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,615

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

I need to stop living by the words “life is short.” It’s hurting my bank account.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I feel useless, but then I remember I breathe out carbon dioxide for plants.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

The walk of shame, except it’s me at a bowling alley walking back to sit down after I knock down zero pins with bumpers.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

I hate when I forget to say something during an argument. Like, hey, let’s argue again, I got better material now.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

Never underestimate the healing power of a cheeseburger.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

It’s fun getting room service. I just love eating a $19 hamburger at a desk in front of a mirror.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

I remember the first time I saw a universal remote control. I thought to myself, “Wow, this changes everything.”

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

What I want for dinner hasn’t been invented yet.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

Everything is awful, and no one is going to save you from this treacherous world. Oops, I mean, happy Friday!

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

I can’t wait to see my older sister so she can point out I have more gray hair than she does.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on X:

To bed then. To bed with you! Guards, take him to my bed!

Trending via Messenger:

Men playing hard to get when they’re already hard to want, is so funny to me.

Trending via Pinterest:

It sucks that crazy people ruined wearing tinfoil hats for those of us that just did it for fashion purposes.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

‘Sex with your ex’ is so stupid. If you want to dwell on the past, you can just buy a history book.

Going viral on Discord:

Can anyone recommend some good behaviors for someone who just started behaving?

Spotted on WeChat:

Lie about the gap in your resume. Tell them you had to help some Hobbits take a ring to Mordor or something.

Just shared via Reddit:

Pizza crusts go uneaten, but people will devour an entire pan of breadsticks.

Just shared via Twitch:

Explaining myself is too much work. Please just judge me.

Live now on X:

What are cats even trying to do?

Trending via Discord:

If you want your kid to play with their toy just give it to your other kid. Follow me for more parenting hacks.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴