Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

You know you’re really stressed when you start getting on your own nerves.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

My employer is totally caring. They pay so poorly that I can’t afford to have an alcohol or drug problem.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

Better to be a wolf that everyone hates, than a donkey that everyone rides.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

Nearly choked on a carrot. A donut would never do that to me.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

Another day waiting, and wishing, and wanting.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

A freshly cleaned bathroom triggers an irresistible urge in men to trim their beard.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

An email so annoying, you wanna return the computer to the store.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

Never underestimate my ability to fall asleep in a moving vehicle.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

Keeping my mouth shut is usually not enough to avoid an argument with my husband. I also have to deactivate the subtitle function on my face.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

Not pretty enough for Instagram, not funny enough for Twitter. Welcome to WhatsApp status.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

509 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,102

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,102

Updated

Dec 24, 2025

Users Online

3,929

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WhatsApp:

You can’t stop me. My tampon wrapper told me I was bold and brilliant.

Trending via Messenger:

Imagine falling in love with me then finding out I’m a slow walker.

Making waves on X:

I think my dog always follows me to the bathroom because I always follow him outside and he thinks that’s the way it works.

Just shared via TikTok:

Sex is cool but have you ever had your bed all to yourself.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Twitter is basically a psychiatric ward where all the patients diagnose each other.

Trending via WeChat:

Asking for a donation like Wikipedia every time someone asks me a question.

Just shared via Telegram:

My childhood led me to believe that as an adult I’d have to contend with truth serum, lava, quicksand, trap doors, and secret passageways. So far it’s mostly been weight gain and existential dread.

Trending via X:

What doesn’t kill you gives you a twisted, dark sense of humor.

Going viral on Discord:

Oh, to live in an apartment alone and do whatever I want.

Going viral on Threads:

My swear jar is having a very profitable week.

Never lie to Indian girls. That red dot be recording everything.

0
Never lie to Indian girls. That red dot be recording everything.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Attention everyone: the red dot isn't just a fashion statement, it's also a surveillance system! 🕵️‍♀️🔴 Better watch your words around Indian girls, lest you become the star of their next reality TV show! 😂 #RedDotConfidential"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Social Media Stars ⭐

81 shares on Discord this month:

The nerve of a majority of people I meet being younger than me. How dare them?

58 shares on Reddit this month:

Having hoes in different area codes sounds really exhausting.

78 shares on Snapchat this month:

I appreciate the sun for always moving in the sky in a predictable way but I also respect the moon for just kind of doing whatever.

87 shares on YouTube this month:

You can tell me what you want, but alcohol and eye contact are a dangerous combination.

63 shares on Pinterest this month:

Beer is Narcan for when you overdose on Microsoft Teams.

54 shares on Slack this month:

I need a Netflix show called: “Background noise while you scroll on your phone.”

43 shares on Discord this month:

Please don’t ask me to repeat myself. I wasn’t listening either.

56 shares on Discord this month:

No, I don’t want to read the article first, I want to argue now.

97 shares on WeChat this month:

Shout-out to the lifeguard who recommended moving the potato to the front of my Speedo.

68 shares on YouTube this month:

I hate apps that shut off your music when you open them, like how fu*king important do you think you are?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I smile at all animals, just not the human ones.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I love surprising my girl, today she woke up single.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

You are my favorite dirty thought.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

You can’t be everyone’s cup of tea, let them sip on their own bland brew.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

“Still gangsta” I whisper to myself as I drink my chamomile tea with a heating pad on my back.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not good with plants or people, but I am good with books and buffets.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

My entire life changed once I found out that a crush is just a lack of information.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Amazing how fast my addiction to my phone is cured the moment I get a phone call.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I used an air fryer for the first time tonight, and I feel like I just discovered fire.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Once again I feel like I slept in a washing machine.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

509 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,102

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,102

Updated

Dec 24, 2025

Users Online

3,870

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

I’ve calculated my December budget and realized I can only afford to pray.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

Told my girlfriend that Mum is deaf, so speak loud and slow. Also told Mum that my girlfriend has special needs.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

Took a break from social media because my cat was asleep on my phone.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

The gossip in my town is faster than the Wi-Fi.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

Men invented pool tables so they could watch each other bend over.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

People believe that they have brains but maybe that’s just inside their heads.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

The pizza delivery guys say “see you tomorrow” to everyone, right?

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

I’m perfectly approachable as long as you’re carrying a plate of nachos.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

Maybe we should put monkeys in charge for a while just to see how it goes.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

Feeling melancholy. Think I’ll have a drink and make things much worse.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Facebook:

It’s crazy how social media convinced us that 15 likes aren’t enough. Imagine 15 people in real life telling you that you looked good.

Just landed via Discord:

Trying to make sense of other people’s actions will drive you to insanity.

Trending via Pinterest:

Some days you have breakfast for dinner and live life on your own terms.

Just shared via TikTok:

My company promotes diversity. We’d never hire twins.

Going viral on Instagram:

A girl, her bed, and TV series on a Friday evening is a true love story.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

People who read and do research will always sound crazy to people who don’t.

Going viral on YouTube:

I drive home so quick after work like I’m late for the house.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

That’s me in the corner, that’s me using Microsoft Word, losing my revision.

Shared recently on Reddit:

The word Ohio looks like a tractor.

Making waves on Instagram:

I’ve left my past behind me, so if I owe you money, sorry, I’ve left it behind me.

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