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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

I have an emotional support chicken roasting in the oven.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

People think I’m a minimalist, but I’m just broke.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

Stop worrying if people like you. They don’t.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

Can I be 20 again? I know what to do this time.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

Britney Spears working at an ice-cream shop called ‘Scoops, I did it again.’

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

Dating apps aren’t working, time to start drinking beer and eating hot dogs along the first base line at a baseball game.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

The best way to enjoy your tea while the world is falling apart around you is to remember that the world has always been falling apart around you.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

Donating blood today to make room for more food.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

Bro to bro: Never get your haircut on the day of a special event.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

Thank you two-step authentication codes that expire after 60 seconds for providing Mission Impossible-type drama into my mundane suburban existence.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2249 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,411

Funny Quotes Topics

15,118

Funny Quotes Images

12,411

39 minutes ago

3,452

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Instagram:

Most earthquakes could have been an email.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I was having a great Friday until I found out it was Thursday.

Making waves on WeChat:

When you’re dead, you don’t know that you’re dead. But it’s hard for those around you. It’s the same when you’re stupid.

Just shared via X:

You’re never alone. There’s mold.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Thanks to rice cakes, I still can’t imagine nothingness, but now I know what it tastes like.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Have you ever noticed that when you step on someone’s foot, they open their mouth? It’s like a folding trash can.

Live now on Instagram:

If you love someone, let them sleep.

Just shared via Discord:

If you’re going to give me some food for thought, it had better be a pizza, or I’m out.

Making waves on Discord:

The first Humans saw the sun go up and then back down, and so they decided to call it a day.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

If I had a dollar for every time someone called me fat, I’d probably just spend it on more bacon.

No, I don’t want to read the article first, I want to argue now.

6 months ago

No, I don’t want to read the article first, I want to argue now.

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Commentary:
Looks like someone skipped a step in the logical process and went straight for the emotional rollercoaster! 🎢🤷‍♂️ Who needs facts and information when you have strong opinions, right? 💬💥 Maybe we should consider introducing an "Argue First, Ask Questions Later" policy for added sassiness! 😉👩‍⚖️

argue, article, conversation, debate, humor, i, impatience, read, want

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2249 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,411

Funny Quotes Topics

15,118

Funny Quotes Images

12,411

39 minutes ago

3,436

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

The closest I have ever come to bungee jumping was when I was born.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

I wish I was a cat. No bills, no job, just meow, meow.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

Person in murder documentary: This is a small town. Things like this don’t happen here. Me: Um, based on the shows I watch, that’s all that happens in small towns.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

Y’all scared to be single, I’m scared to be in another pointless relationship.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

I miss when men had big hair, louder feelings, and leaned over cars to declare their love.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

You know you’ve mastered marriage when you shout to your husband, “Take the thing off the thing,” and he immediately knows what to do.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

We should all start texting each other like old time explorers. ‘Dearest friend, I have survived another week. The horrors persist.’

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

I love all mythical creatures. Vampires, werewolves, unicorns, kids who listen.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

Back in my day there was so much toilet paper and so much eggs that we gathered at night and threw them at the houses of our enemies.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

I hate lying to my parents but it’s for their own good.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Of all her outfits, my shirt and no underwear will always be my favorite.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Men be like “I would do anything for you,” and then do nothing.

Breaking via Twitch:

Some people are like ads, just skip.

Live now on YouTube:

I asked my boyfriend if he believed in trolls and elves and he said, “slightly.”

Breaking via WeChat:

If a tree falls in a forest and doesn’t make a sound, maybe that’s where your kid should be practicing the piano.

Trending via WhatsApp:

If someone ghosts you, respect the dead and never disturb them again.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

And is your “sparkling personality” in the room with us now?

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Nobody has ever been more surprised than a husband hearing about his wife’s plans for the second time.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Yesterday I went to a fight and a baseball game broke out.

Trending via Reddit:

I’m sorry I don’t take orders. I barely take suggestions.

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