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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

I’ve got the nativity scene facing the TV, so baby Jesus can watch “Die Hard.”

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

I hate texting someone something freaky at night, and they reply in the morning like it’s still the vibe. Shut up. The sun’s out. I’m pure again.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

I will unfriend, uncousin, unco-worker, unfollow, unfamily any draining soul real quick.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

Petition to change the name of rice cakes to something else as they are 100% rice and 0% cake and I’m tired of all the gaslighting.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

Alexa, mute my children.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

Maybe the grass is greener over there because you’re not over there messing it up.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

Taking a phone to school in primary was like smuggling drugs.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

Hi. I didn’t mean to “like” your tweet. I was scraping dried jelly off my phone.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

My superpower is to make anyone I wanna make comfortable feel uncomfortable.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

The only thing I know about AI is, it desperately wants us to have more fingers.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

463 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,732

Funny Quotes Topics

17,754

Funny Quotes Images

15,732

Jan 14, 2026

3,616

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

‘Sex with your ex’ is so stupid. If you want to dwell on the past, you can just buy a history book.

Making waves on Facebook:

My favorite thing about summer is opening a window for 30 seconds so an insect that hasn’t been identified by science yet can fly into your home.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I’m not tispy. I’m merry.

Making waves on Instagram:

Treat me like a joke and I’ll leave you like it’s funny.

Trending via Threads:

I disagree with everyone and think relationships should be easy.

Going viral on Discord:

Jesus, I need money to organize your birthday.

Trending via LinkedIn:

The year number is getting too big, let’s do another Jesus soon.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

King-sized beds: Because you both want to sleep on the same mattress, but not in the same zip code.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Fitbits are just Tamagotchis, except the stupid animal you’re trying to keep alive is you.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I wanna be crazy rich. I’m already crazy, so I’m half way there.

Nothing more dangerous than an ignorant man who thinks he is a genius.

2 months ago

Nothing more dangerous than an ignorant man who thinks he is a genius.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, the dreaded combo of ignorance and arrogance! 🤦‍♂️ It's like a recipe for disaster served with a side of misguided confidence. 🤯 Watch out for those self-proclaimed geniuses who couldn't tell the difference between a duck and a chicken! 🦆🐔 #IgnoranceIsNotBliss

confidence, dangerous, false, false confidence, genius, humor, ignorant, ignorant man, irony, man, nothing, self-awareness

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Don’t bother telling me where you’re from, I have no geographical knowledge and no sense of direction.

2 months ago

bother, confusion, direction, geography, humor, i, irony, knowledge, me, self-awareness, sense, travel, where
Two mysterious people live in my house. “Somebody” and “Nobody.” Somebody did it and nobody knows who.

3 months ago

house, live, nobody, people, somebody
have one of those big paintings with the eyeholes cut out, but I don’t have anyone to spy on, so I just watch TV through it.

2 months ago

activity, big, cut, eyehole, funny activity, humor, i, just, observation, painting, paintings, spy, TV, watch
I’m on that new diet where you eat anything you want and you pray for a miracle.

2 months ago

diet, eat, food, humor, loss, miracle, new, pray, weight, weight loss
Called off work. Feeling fat and wearing jeans.

3 months ago

called, called off, care, casual, casual wear, day, day off, fat, feeling, feeling fat, jeans, self, self-care, wear, work
Not sure if “life hack” exactly, but I fell down the stairs and now my whole family is being so nice and catering to my needs.

2 months ago

attention, being, catering, exactly, fall, family, hack, humor, i, life, life hack, needs, nice, situation, stairs, sure, whole

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

17 shares on Threads this month:

Just say, “My future husband would never do that,” and move on.

36 shares on Snapchat this month:

You have 8 hours remaining to create shareholder value.

35 shares on Messenger this month:

When life shuts a door, open it again. It’s a door. That’s how they work.

33 shares on Pinterest this month:

Writing cover letters feels soooo “Ever since I was a little boy, I knew I wanted to be an administrative assistant when I grew up.”

47 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My husband is looking for the remote control. I need everyone to stand up for a minute.

55 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Work is the worst video game ever.

47 shares on WeChat this month:

Today my coworker asked if I wanted to hold her new baby and neither of us were prepared for me saying why?

56 shares on Telegram this month:

That moment your alarm clock goes off in the morning and you don’t know whether to get dressed or fake an illness.

51 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m only dead on the outside.

37 shares on Snapchat this month:

There are people who have a favourite colour, and there are people whose favourite colour is purple. These are very different things. Purple fans are different creatures.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

The police said I was a ‘suspect’, but I prefer being called a ‘person of interest’.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

My toxic trait is treating my glasses like they’re not the most expensive thing I wear everyday.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Be a pineapple: stand tall, wear a crown, and be sweet on the inside.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Excuse me, can you direct me to the nonsense?

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Ah coffee. The sweet balm by which we shall accomplish today’s tasks.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

If I say, “First of all,” run away, because I have prepared peer-reviewed research, data, and charts, and I will destroy you.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Just gonna drink light beers today, because I don’t wanna get drunk but I do enjoy peeing 30 times.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Has anyone ever died from waiting for a group of people to decide what they want to eat.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

For my birthday, I want everyone to delete whatever old version of me they have in their head— it expired.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

What doesn’t kill you makes you weird at intimacy.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

463 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,732

Funny Quotes Topics

17,754

Funny Quotes Images

15,732

Updated

Jan 14, 2026

Users Online

3,344

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

I shaved my legs today and it was the fastest 3lbs I’ve ever lost in my life.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

Being naked with shoes on feels more naked than being totally naked.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

Girls will be like “it’s fine” and then go and curse your whole bloodline.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

Adulthood is just always being tired and wondering how you hurt your back.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

We were never supposed to have this much access to stupid people’s thoughts, beliefs, and opinions.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

There’s no sadder tableau in all of humanity than the smoker’s terrarium at the airport.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

38% of being a dad is sitting in a car, looking at your watch, and waiting for everybody else to come out.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

Please don’t flirt with me. I’m trying not to cheat on my crush who doesn’t like me.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

It’s Friday. I ran out of small talk on Tuesday. Please leave me alone.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

Morning me just stripped the bedding. Evening me is going to be pissed.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Has anyone noticed what it’s beginning to look a lot like?

Trending via X:

May life treat you exactly the same way you treat servers, store clerks, senior citizens, children, and animals.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Women are like apples; I like biting them.

Spotted on X:

Me, adding fuel to the fire: I’m just here to help.

Just landed via Reddit:

Hannibal Lecter didn’t have to be a serial killer, he was scary enough as a foodie.

Seen just now on X:

If you order a pizza with veggies on it, you can tell people you had a salad.

Shared recently on Messenger:

At my age, you check a friend’s Facebook page to make sure they’re still alive before wishing them a happy birthday.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

They say sugar can’t fix your problems. Yeah, well, neither can broccoli. At least cake puts in the effort.

Shared recently on WeChat:

That’s not my girl bestie, that’s my platonic wife.

Making waves on TikTok:

The dead bodies on Mt. Everest remind me that it’s perfectly fine to stay home and be lazy.

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