Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

The cheapest way to fly is off the handle.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

Got my dog microchipped, so if he runs away, I can just press a button, and he’ll explode.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

My dad once sneezed so hard that he set every clock back two hours.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

My attempts to purge my possessions always seem to result in me rediscovering that I have lots of nice things, after which I lie happily on my hoard like a dragon.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

The shrooms told me that we need to get our shit together. That humanity is a bundle of bad habits. I’m headed back in a few weeks, and they need a response from us. What do I tell them?

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

Ugh, those red and blue flashing lights are interfering with my driving and scrolling.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

Look, a three-day weekend is all I ask. The rest can be four-day weekends.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

I took the road less traveled because I was hoping not to run into anyone I know along the way.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

An orgy where everyone looks identical is called a doppelgängerbänger.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

I’ll kill the vibe, so you don’t have to.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,387

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on X:

Please no requests for a threesome. If I want to disappoint two people at the same time, I’ll visit my parents.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Don’t forget to be mean to strangers on the internet today, for no reason whatsoever.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I hate when I turn off my brights for an incoming vehicle and then realize it’s a Cybertruck.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Life is so dull when you don’t have someone to flirt with.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Sorry it took so long to text you back; my social bandwidth was buffering.

Trending via Reddit:

You never realize how long a minute is until you’re doing cardio.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

If you get bitten by a snake and you’re not sure if it was poisonous, simply wait to see if you die or not. That should give you your answer.

Making waves on TikTok:

I love to see “pan-fried” on a menu. I hate food that’s fried in a shoe.

Trending via WhatsApp:

“We’re the only species that drinks milk after infancy, dairy is bad for you!” We’re also the only species that drinks peach mango pineapple spirulina kale smoothies, Karen. Let me eat my cheese in peace.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Old Spice doesn’t sound like something you wanna smell.

Offering someone food, and secretly hoping, they don’t want it.

4 days ago

Witty message about offering food and secretly hoping for rejection, humorous and playful vibe.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic 'offering food but low-key praying they decline' maneuver 🍔🙏. It's the ultimate test of politeness vs. hunger! Will they pick up on your subtle hints, or will you have to reluctantly share your precious snacks? The suspense is delicious… or not, depending on their answer! 😅"

awkwardnes, food, hope, humor, offer, relationship, secret, social, someone, want

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

26 shares on Pinterest this month:

Stopped using exclamation points in work messages so my coworkers know they’ve killed my spirit.

56 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You can talk about any topic for 30 mins if you’re a confident liar.

41 shares on YouTube this month:

Foo fighters still fighting foo.

42 shares on YouTube this month:

You should never forget where you came from. That’s probably where your keys are.

52 shares on LinkedIn this month:

By the way, if you don’t buy anything on Black Friday, you can save up to 100%.

92 shares on X this month:

Texting random numbers “It’s done.”

21 shares on Instagram this month:

Imagine how loud a centipede would be if they wore tiny little flip flops.

63 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Never quit, unless it’s too hard.

100 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Best threesome: me, my bed and my pillow.

66 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Responding to all selfies with “this should work.”

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

When you realize your punishments as a kid (stay home, take a nap, no junk food, go to bed early) are now your goals as an adult.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

A foghorn but for people who can’t see through their own bullshit.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Your skull is the only thing preventing your brain from floating away, unburdened as it is by any meaningful thought to anchor it.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

The male urge to tell you what business used to be located there back in his day.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Cinderella was a mess. I mean, I have bad taste in men, but at least I never settled for a guy who couldn’t remember what my face looked like.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Called off work. Feeling fat and wearing jeans.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Wooden pews are designed to maximize the shame of farting in church.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Siblings are proof you can love someone and also dislike them at the same time.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

No one watches your story faster than someone who doesn’t talk to you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,269

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

It’s pretty apt that the ‘i’ is in the middle of ‘hurricane’.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

I like driving by myself. I just played the same song 36 times.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

No, babe, your 10-minute incremental alarms starting a full hour before you actually get up only make me love you more.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re saying things like, “That’s a pretty building.”

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

Living in your parent’s house is free because you pay with your soul.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

I did not “try to rob a bank,” I just “aspired” to obtain more money.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

8 pm to 10 pm on a weeknight is the shortest that two hours can possibly be.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

Let’s all stand up against iron deficiency (but not too fast).

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

“The Nightmare Before Christmas” just means, January 1st – December 24th.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

Home is where you can say anything because nobody’s really listening, anyway.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Instagram:

It’s my birthday, but I’m not gonna post about it for attention like some kind of loser.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

My diet was going really well until I woke up.

Breaking via Snapchat:

I don’t have a favorite vampire. If you ask me, they all suck.

Shared recently on Slack:

Going to a wedding really reminds me of the important things in life. Like cake.

Making waves on Snapchat:

You cannot hurt me. You are not a hip-height table corner.

Going viral on Facebook:

I’m not built to work, I’m built to brood in a castle with all my unread books.

Going viral on X:

I’m a credit card, cause I’m always being used or denied.

Breaking via Discord:

Hand sanitizer will find a cut you didn’t even know you had.

Trending via Pinterest:

Clubbing is a phase that you must go through and get over.

Going viral on Messenger:

I thought Game of Thrones was a pooping contest for men.

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