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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

Absurdity is the spice of life.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor is cute, forget the fruit.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

The horror: “Come on, I’ll introduce you to everyone.”

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

I may regret the megabytes I’ve wasted, but I’ll never regret the megabites I’ve tasted.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here hating myself.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

My birthday wish is for everyone to ignore my birthday.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

Due to unfortunate circumstances, things are no longer fergalicious nor bootylicious.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

Some people you look at or hear talking and think to yourself, the wheel may be turning, but the hamster is dead.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

I can’t watch Sex and the City anymore, because I get really upset at how much money these ladies have.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

Noam Chomsky sounds like the legal name of the very hungry caterpillar.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2320 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,482

Funny Quotes Topics

15,188

Funny Quotes Images

12,482

19 minutes ago

3,461

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Discord:

Nothing makes me more stabby than when my husband ignores me and starts talking to the dog.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

If you have nothing nice to say, I promise you that I’ll have something even worse to say back.

Going viral on Twitch:

I did 30 minutes of chores, time for a 7-hour break.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Human interaction is a great way to learn all the new swear words your subconscious mind has come up with in the lab.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Menstruation is bizarre. It’s like something David Lynch would have came up with.

Just landed via Slack:

A dating app that matches people by the conspiracy theories they are interested in.

Going viral on Threads:

Whoever came up with a 30 minute lunch break needs a 30 minute beating.

Spotted on YouTube:

If your cat has ever accidentally fallen into the tub while you were taking bath, you’ve known chaos.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Waking up has backfired on me so many times.

Trending via Messenger:

Sunglasses: allowing you to stare at people without getting caught. It’s like Facebook in real life.

Offering someone food, and secretly hoping, they don’t want it.

4 months ago

Offering someone food, and secretly hoping, they don’t want it.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic 'offering food but low-key praying they decline' maneuver 🍔🙏. It's the ultimate test of politeness vs. hunger! Will they pick up on your subtle hints, or will you have to reluctantly share your precious snacks? The suspense is delicious… or not, depending on their answer! 😅"

awkwardnes, food, hope, humor, offer, relationship, secret, social, someone, want

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2320 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,482

Funny Quotes Topics

15,188

Funny Quotes Images

12,482

19 minutes ago

3,436

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

Life is basically avoiding people who have seen you naked, whilst trying to find new people to see you naked.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

“Treat yourself. You deserve it,” she says while adding the shoes to her cart.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

I hate when recipes tell you to take something out of the pan and add it back in later. No way bro. It’s staying in there.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

Instead of saying “Good morning,” my wife and I go straight into explanations of how badly we each slept.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

Lying to stupid people can give you a profound sense of satisfaction, it can also make you president.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

I successfully avoided the red-eye flight and got the much milder pink eye flight.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

I would prefer not to.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

Nobody supports you like that one internet friend you’ve never met.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

With age comes wisdom. And digestive trouble.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

I’m forced to conclude that not liking my posts is a you problem.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Slack:

Psych meds aren’t enough anymore. Hit me with a shovel.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

That made me feel good. I think I’ll become addicted.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I hate when recipes tell you to take something out of the pan and add it back in later. No way bro. It’s staying in there.

Making waves on WeChat:

You can’t spell disappointment without me.

Just landed via Discord:

Job hunting has legitimately been the most demoralizing experience of my life. Nothing else will make you realize how little you can actually do.

Spotted on Facebook:

I need you to put the fun in refund!

Freshly posted on Reddit:

The world would be a much nicer place if we just turn off the news.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Next time I lose my mind I swear I’m not even going to look for it any more.

Just shared via Messenger:

“Alcohol and beautiful women” is apparently not an appropriate answer when you are asked about your weaknesses in a job interview.

Just landed via Telegram:

I bought my antidepressants off of Temu and now I glow in the dark.

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