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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡พ๐Ÿ‡ช has copied:

My my husbandโ€™s favorite thing is when I blame him for losing something thatโ€™s actually in my hand.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ has viewed:

Marriage is 33.3% hiding to eat snacks because you and your spouse are supposed to be on a diet.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ท has downloaded:

Sorry Iโ€™m late โ€” I was standing in the shower, thinking about stuff.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has copied:

Iโ€™m not deleting my Twitter, I was here before Elon.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ has viewed:

When I said I wanted to be held, I didnโ€™t mean accountable.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡ง has shared:

So I got a call from a telemarketer, and he said he couldn’t understand me. I told him, “Press 1 for English.”

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ฌ has viewed:

Iโ€™ve done the math and I regret to inform you Iโ€™m your soulmate.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ณ has copied:

If you canโ€™t say anything nice, donโ€™t say anything at all: I watched Rebel Moon 2 and the Netflix app worked well. Showed me the entire movie. In color.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ญ๐Ÿ‡บ has copied:

Elections make you feel like we’re all in divorce court waiting to see who gets custody of us.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡บ has downloaded:

All of my passwords are protected by short-term memory loss.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

767 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,929

Funny Quotes Topics

13,901

Funny Quotes Images

10,929

Updated

38 minutes ago

Users Online

3,446

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Going viral on Reddit:

I miss when bills were none of my business.

Making waves on Twitch:

Warning: This movie contains โ€œAdult Themesโ€ such as interest rates, bad knees, back pain, and excitement about going to bed early.

Trending via WeChat:

Imagine how organized the first person to write down a recipe must have been.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Sorry I was late, I was frantically applying to other jobs.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Why do birds love going apeshit first thing in the morning?

Just shared via LinkedIn:

“Nothing beats in-person interaction”. Yeah, with someone I know and love, not Denise from finance.

Making waves on Slack:

You donโ€™t need fun to have alcohol.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Before you call me an idiot consider this: I know!

Freshly posted on Discord:

No revenge, because I donโ€™t even remember what happened.

Just landed via X:

Normalize talking to people in the gym who have earbuds in, they love that.

Ok, new plan, Iโ€™m gonna marry a Kardashian.

Ok, new plan, Iโ€™m gonna marry a Kardashian.
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Commentary:
"Looks like the bachelor is aiming high and headed straight for Reality TV Royalty! ๐Ÿ’๐ŸŒŸ Who needs a fairytale ending when you can have a Kardashian cameo instead? ๐Ÿคฃ #KeepingUpWithTheKardashians #NewLifePlan"

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Welcome to Wordgag! ๐Ÿ˜‰โœŒ๏ธ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’ฅ

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Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

767 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,929

Funny Quotes Topics

13,901

Funny Quotes Images

10,929

Updated

38 minutes ago

Users Online

3,431

Funny Quotes of the Month ๐Ÿš€

Funny Quotes of the Year โญ

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has downloaded:

I’m not ready to adopt a highway, I can barely raise my own driveway.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ป has copied:

People who don’t have a dishwasher, where do they bang their shins?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ป๐Ÿ‡จ has copied:

She’s got style, she’s got grace, she crams french fries in her face.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡น has bookmarked:

Anyone know how to get an air guitar out of a vacuum?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ด has bookmarked:

Rom-com idea: Gozilla +1. Godzilla gets invited to a wedding but struggles to convince anyone to go with him.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡ด has downloaded:

Cats are probably like: Oh, I should follow you on Litterboxd.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has bookmarked:

My husband was unable to find his coat earlier as heโ€™d accidentally hung it up.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ช has shared:

Weed smokers be like, โ€œHold up โ€” before we go to the store, I have to get scared.โ€

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has copied:

Men will ruin your whole life and come back and like your Instagram story.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ท has copied:

I donโ€™t have any rizz but I do have snacks in my purse.

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Going viral on X:

My favorite dinner is the one made by someone else.

Making waves on Reddit:

Coke Zero sounds like a government pledge to eliminate fizzy drinks by 2030.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Iโ€™m not your dream woman. I am the sudden shouting of ravens that you hear when you enter a part of the forest you shouldnโ€™t have.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Summer is the time when it’s too hot to do what it was too cold to do in winter.

Just shared via X:

Our phones fall, we panic. Our friends fall, we laugh.

Just shared via Discord:

Therapy is cool but singing as loud as you can in your car is free.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Who needs therapy when you can gaslight yourself into thinking that everything is fine?

Trending via Threads:

I donโ€™t like this new trend of old people wearing shirts of bands I listened to when I was a kid.

Going viral on X:

I avoid clarified butter because I prefer my dairy products to be troubled and confused.

Trending via YouTube:

My stress stresses me out to the point where I’m too stressed to deal with my stress.

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ยฉ 2025. All fights retarded. ๐Ÿคช

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