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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

If you occasionally blow on your bourbon during a Zoom meeting, the other folks will think you’re enjoying a hot cup of tea.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

I’m a social media influencer in that I’ve influenced people to ignore me on social media.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

Hey, sorry I cant make it tonight. I am beset on all sides by foes.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

Man, these end times are taking forever.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

I love my new crockpot. Now we can wait longer to eat my horrible cooking.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

Y’all are single because y’all are looking for 90’s love in this sick generation.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

I bring a very “are you going to eat your pickle” vibe to lunch meetings.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

“Your call is very important to us. Please stay on the line until your call is no longer important to you.”

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

If I was a priest, I’d make my side of the confession booth really big so I could run around.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

Maybe dogs are smarter than us because they found a way to get fed and housed without having to go to college and get a job.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,485

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Can we talk about what little red riding hoods actual grandma must have looked like?

Making waves on Slack:

All soups are gazpacho if you’re lazy enough.

Just landed via X:

Just because I’m up sharing posts at 7 a.m. doesn’t mean I’m up. Don’t call my phone.

Breaking via Snapchat:

After all these years, Jude Law has finally noticed me and responded to my love letters. Something about staying 500 feet away. I’m getting it framed.

Trending via TikTok:

I wish my doctor would put down a little treat to distract me like my vet does for my dog.

Going viral on Instagram:

Behind every great tweet is a person rolling their eyes.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Nothing betrays your age more than the slang you refuse to let go of.

Going viral on Discord:

Normalize ending a hang-out abruptly by saying ‘I wanna go home now’ and then going home.

Live now on Instagram:

The person who invented butter really understood humans.

Going bananas on Discord:

Probably the worst thing about the death of print media is the devastating effect it’s having on the producers of traditional ransom notes.

People drive you insane and then say “see, I told you that you’re insane.”

Witty quote about friends driving you crazy and confirming your insanity with humor.
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Commentary:
Ah, the classic case of gaslighting – they drive you up the wall and then act all innocent! 🙄 Just another day in the circus of life, where the clowns are always in charge! 🤡 Who needs enemies when you've got friends like these, am I right? 😂🤦‍♂️ #CrazyIsTheNewNormal

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

18 shares on Snapchat this month:

After a vacation, I usually return to work with a fresh, reenergized hatred for my job.

56 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m going to be real pissed if I get my shit together and the world ends.

80 shares on TikTok this month:

Damn, didn’t win the lottery. It’s messing up my budget plan.

26 shares on Discord this month:

Life hack: Confuse your doctor by putting on gloves at the same time he does.

73 shares on X this month:

You don’t read Dostoevsky. You survive him.

95 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Don’t fall in love. It’s bad.

13 shares on Slack this month:

I would like you to meet my significant other. Her name is Cheese.

24 shares on Reddit this month:

I’d trust a groundhog over a weatherman any day.

38 shares on TikTok this month:

Putting sunscreen on kids feels like cardio.

49 shares on TikTok this month:

Studies show young people are having less sex than previous generations. I knew I was ahead of my time.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Weird me out? No. You’ve weirded me in. Let’s merge souls.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

The lion is actually pretty concerned right now.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine falling in love and then finding out that they put antlers on their car for the holidays.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

You either get a kid who eats like a bottomless pit, or you get one that when asked what they want for lunch answers “No thanks, I had lunch yesterday.”

5 folks are currently checking 👀

If anyone needs me, I’ll be in a different realm.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

My neighbors were up shouting all night. I could barely hear my bagpipes.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not gonna have a bad day. The day is gonna have a bad me.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Wanna worship each other until the end of all things?

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Elsa froze her entire kingdom instead of dealing with her feelings. I respect that level of avoidance.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

If God had known what mankind would turn into, he would have sterilized Adam.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,396

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

Victor Frankenstein being only 23 years old when he made the monster is crazy to me, he should have been at the club.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

If you ever think you can solve a parenting problem by doing the opposite of what didn’t work last time, the universe will just be like “Lol, nice try, dummy!”

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

Starting drama with me the week before my period is an absolutely terrible idea – for you.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

I’m not actively avoiding you. I don’t actively do anything.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

They probably killed the first few people whose eyes turned red in a photograph before they realized it wasn’t any demon stuff.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

I don’t think I’d be so scared of spiders if they had eight tiny flip flops on.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

Y’all ever withheld good news so that it remains untouched by negativity?

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

I’m pretty sure I fall under the percentage of people who’ve eaten the sticker on the apple.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

Anyone want to fall in love and split rent?

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

What an awful time to be even remotely aware of what is going on in the world.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

Liquor on the top shelf is so expensive because the bartender has to stand on their tippy toes to reach it.

Spotted on Reddit:

I am half agony, half hope.

Breaking via Discord:

Trust my gut? The thing that tricks me into buying gas station sushi and roller dogs? No thanks.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Getting paid 26 times in 365 days is not my destiny.

Just landed via Discord:

I’ve deleted enough tweets to know that I should never get a tattoo.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

You are why Superman costumes have warning labels telling you the costume won’t make you fly.

Making waves on Threads:

I kind of enjoy living in a world where I can end a conversation by simply not texting back.

Going viral on Reddit:

I’m not saying I’m messy, but if Copperfield knew what I can make disappear, he’d be jealous.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

69. Some might call it nasty. I call it a romantic dinner for 2.

Spotted on Telegram:

I miss when you could touch a TV and feel its fur.

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