Trendy Funny Quotes

  • Everybody has a girlfriend and a boyfriend, and I’m over here like “I love food”.
  • Today I started gardening. I planted myself in front of the TV and I sat there the entire day.
  • In an alternate universe, sex dreams of me.
  • My favorite thing about summer is opening a window for 30 seconds so an insect that hasn’t been identified by science yet can fly into your home.
  • The Pope is the only employee who never gets to see his boss. Not even at the Christmas party.
  • I’m not feeling very worky today.