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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

I think my wife has got early Alzheimer’s. Every day she tells me that she has no idea what she first saw in me.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

My family passed down mood swings and anxiety instead of money or houses.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

Updating my resume. Anyone got a more professional word for “dumpster fire”?

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

Spiraling out of control if anyone wants anything.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

Twitter is great because you can tweet “hi” and someone will tell you you’re wrong.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

Life tip: If all of your bathrooms are full and you’re waiting for someone to finish, just turn off the WiFi in the house.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

Forget hot girl summer, it’s rot girl summer (laying in bed, reading books, laying under layers of soft blankets).

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

Ironically people who are good at giving advice find it difficult to follow their own.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

You have never experienced true fear until a poster falls off the wall in the middle of the night.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

Every Reddit relationship post is like “My husband dropped a big piano on my head and when I emerged from the rubble my teeth had been replaced by the keys. Am I in the wrong?”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Jan 7, 2026

3,292

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Who can better express pain and grief and misery than a man with a harmonica?

Going viral on X:

No, I can’t tonight. I already have plans to look at my phone somewhere else.

Trending via Messenger:

My desire to be informed is currently at odds with my desire to remain sane.

Making waves on Slack:

Only a couple more days until I come home and pretend I forgot about Valentine’s Day.

Trending via Snapchat:

The funniest thing about Batman is that he legitimately doesn’t give a shit about crime that happens during the day.

Just shared via Discord:

Welcome to your 40s, you now respond to every younger person telling you their age with “Jesus Christ”.

Making waves on Pinterest:

August is technically summer, but spiritually fall.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Having a kid is so fun when you’re childish, like yeah, it’s my turn with the slime, boo.

Trending via Twitch:

Forever grateful that thought bubbles aren’t a real thing.

Going viral on YouTube:

Sex is cool and all, but have you ever tried obsessing over a mediocre person who’s just not that into you.

People need to understand the difference between want and need. Like, I want abs, but I need chocolate.

2 months ago

0

People need to understand the difference between want and need. Like, I want abs, but I need chocolate.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal struggle between desire and necessity! 💪🍫 Who can resist the siren call of a sweet, delicious treat when faced with the daunting challenge of achieving washboard abs? Chocolate always wins the battle for my heart (and stomach)! 😂 #Priorities"

abs, chocolate, cravings, dieting, difference, fitness, humor, i, need, people, priorities, understand, want

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Unpopular opinion: we really grew up in the best era to be a kid, and the worst era to be an adult.

0

2 months ago

adult, best, best era, childhood, era, growing, growing up, kid, opinion, unpopular, unpopular opinion, worst, worst era
Being rich is going to look so cute on me.

1

4 months ago

aspiration, being, confidence, cute, going, humor, me, rich, self-love, wealth
Spider-Man, but set in rural England so he just has to walk everywhere.

0

2 months ago

countryside, england, everywhere, humor, just, rural, rural England, setting, Spider-Man, superhero, transportation, walk
The downside of common sense is, having to deal with those that lack it.

0

2 months ago

common, common sense, deal, downside, frustration, having, humor, irony, lack, sense, wit
He just walked right into my heart and switched on the lights.

0

3 months ago

heart, humor, just, light, lights, love, metaphor, right, romantic
Please don’t buy my book on reverse psychology.

0

2 months ago

advice, book, buy, humor, irony, joke, psychology, reverse, reverse psychology, writing

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

51 shares on Discord this month:

If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all: I watched Rebel Moon 2 and the Netflix app worked well. Showed me the entire movie. In color.

19 shares on Instagram this month:

Nobody says, ‘Bless you,’ when you fart.

36 shares on Messenger this month:

No matter how old you are, when the kitchen roll is empty, you have a telescope.

94 shares on Pinterest this month:

Can’t. Too busy saving daylight.

40 shares on Facebook this month:

I held the door for an old person today and he was like, “didn’t we go to high school together” and we did.

93 shares on Instagram this month:

Divorce is so weird. Why do I have an ex-aunt?

50 shares on Facebook this month:

You know it’s a fancy restaurant when you have to point at what you want on the menu because you can’t pronounce the name.

34 shares on Facebook this month:

I don’t need your flipping advice, I am capable of ruining my life on my own.

75 shares on X this month:

Just rolled a joint. Not to get high or anything. It was just my ankle.

72 shares on WeChat this month:

Being an adult is like folding a fitted sheet.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

If you innocently act like you don’t know, people will explain dirty words to you and it’s hilarious.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to your 40s: here’s ten pounds.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Unemployed folks always have esoteric knowledge, for some reason.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

If you were the birthday gift I bought my wife some months ago, where would you be hiding?

8 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s legally required that you lose a frisbee onto the roof within one week of purchase.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve just turned off the news and put on a serial killer documentary to relax.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Please make sure you are only drinking as much water as you REALLY need. We need that for the data centers. If you’re thirsty, AI is thirsty too.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Commenting “Obviously AI” on pictures of happy couples.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

My ex was like “I know a spot,” then took me to the lowest point in my life.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Second day without coffee. I can no longer hear out of my left eye.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,503

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

We could all be hibernating right now but noooooo we have to be “adults” with “responsibilities”.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

My favorite thing to do is nothing.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

Good friends don’t let their friends do stupid things alone.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

Remember that your face is literally a combination of hundreds of generations of people who fell in love!

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

It takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

So many spreadsheets and not once did I feel excelled.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

The best part about being single is sleeping around. You can sleep all over that bed of yours – left, right, middle.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

I love Queen and David Bowie, but why did they steal that riff from Vanilla Ice?

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

Sometimes I tell myself I should stop drinking so much, but I’m not about to listen to a drunk who’s talking to himself.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

Kinda miss when crushes were butterflies instead of complex emotional calculations about compatibility and red flags.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Everyone’s “the nicest guy ever” until the cops are in their backyard digging up several bodies.

Going bananas on Facebook:

When a girl says “5 mins,” think about it like five minutes left in the 4th quarter, and both teams have all their timeouts.

Just shared via Twitch:

Living up to your potential sounds exhausting.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Literally no one understands something more completely than a woman in a meeting who starts a question with “Just so I understand …”

Spotted on Twitch:

Appliances always know when you’re getting a tax refund.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Sometimes I’ll pause a YouTube video to scroll on reels. I’m not sure if I’ll ever be able to be loved genuinely.

Going viral on Discord:

Can you lose weight by running away from your feelings?

Going bananas on Telegram:

If I were a bird, I know who I’d poop on.

Making waves on Reddit:

If a vegetarian who eats fish is a pescatarian, is a vegetarian who eats chicken called a poultrygeist?

Just shared via Slack:

You gotta separate the art from the artist. Like, for example, sometimes the artist is really nice but their art sucks.

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