Trendy Funny Quotes

  • I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done.
  • I don’t understand the concept of “the man of your dreams”. Every time my wife wakes up after dreaming about me, she is really pissed off about something dream me did.
  • Tryna choke on gummy bears so my tombstone can read ‘killed by a bear’
  • My main takeaway from ‘The Walking Dead’ is that you can still eat the expired canned goods in your pantry.
  • Called in, “I’m a time traveler. I came in today yesterday.”
  • Kind of rude you didn’t wake me up before you went went.