Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

“I made this with AI.” Yeah, we can tell.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

I’m obsessed with adding a second completely unnecessary tweet to all my tweets, like, oh, you thought I was done.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

I wish I loved anything as much as my two year old loves pulling my pants down.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

Being an adult is crazy. Because what the hell is going on?

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

Marry someone the same size as you to avoid decades of annoyance adjusting the seats and mirrors in the car.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

Therapy is nice but singing as loud as you can in your car is free.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

I know it’s traditional to start work at 9, but I think we could lower that age to 8.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

Twitter is evidence that insane people can be extremely entertaining from a safe distance.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

I don’t make mistakes, I date them.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

It sucks that the reward for being responsible, is just a bunch of new responsibilities.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,712

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Sorry, I’m late. I was pumping up the jam.

Spotted on Threads:

They should make a biopic of just some random guy.

Just shared via Discord:

Fact: cats sit on your lap to dominate you.

Seen just now on Threads:

I don’t understand all the fuss about ChatGPT – I have teenagers who already know everything.

Just shared via TikTok:

My superpower? Staying calm when talking to idiots.

Going viral on Pinterest:

People don’t have demonically glowing red eyes in photographs like they used to.

Just shared via Facebook:

I need to stop living by the words “life is short.” It’s hurting my bank account.

Breaking via Threads:

I was telling my sister that I’ve been going to the gym recently, and my nephew said, “You should go inside when you get there,” and I don’t think I’ll ever recover from that.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

The fact it costs $15 to get a basic meal at a fast-food restaurant now is comical.

Making waves on YouTube:

The best part of my kid graduating was unsubscribing from the school’s text messages.

Taking the day off to brush up on conspiracy theories and really get this Thanksgiving party started.

Humorous quote about taking a day off to dive into conspiracy theories for Thanksgiving fun.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs small talk when you've got lizard people and secret government experiments on the menu?! 🕵️‍♂️🤫 Thanksgiving just got a whole lot spicier! 🦃👽 #ConspiracyTheoryBuffet"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

60 shares on Twitch this month:

Coke Zero sounds like a government pledge to eliminate fizzy drinks by 2030.

34 shares on Reddit this month:

If i say “morning!” to you, it does not mean “good morning”, I am merely exclaiming in horror that it is morning.

47 shares on Pinterest this month:

“Can you multitask?” Yes, actually I am losing my mind and chilling at the same time.

97 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The reason the world felt like a better place during your childhood is because you were a child.

80 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Sorry if my posts have any typos, it’s because I’m driving.

40 shares on Messenger this month:

That moment when you dip your cookie in milk for too long and it breaks off, then you wonder why bad things happen to good people.

93 shares on Slack this month:

I don’t know who needs to hear this but you’re not dying, it’s just Monday.

44 shares on YouTube this month:

I just tried to groom my dog myself, and I now fully understand why the dog groomer charges more for a haircut than my own stylist.

48 shares on Pinterest this month:

Cheesecake dislikers are attention seekers.

36 shares on Messenger this month:

The brand name Oral B is so funny to me. WTF does the B stand for?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

People can’t drive you crazy if you don’t give them the keys.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Always remember you’re someone’s reason to smile. Because you’re a joke.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

The Velvet Underground probably wouldn’t have been so influential if I was at their shows with a giant magnet and pulled their guitars out of their hands.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing more dangerous than an ignorant man who thinks he is a genius.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

We need a streaming service that’s only ads. No shows, just commercials. They pay us $15 a month.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I never forget a face, but in your case, I’ll be glad to make an exception.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

My sleeping cycle is completely backwards. In the morning I feel sleepy and at night I can’t fall asleep.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I tell myself I should stop drinking so much, but I’m not about to listen to a drunk who’s talking to himself.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Most people who have found themselves are amazed to discover that there is nothing there at all.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Cracking the ice cubes out probably feels so good for the ice tray.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,262

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

So annoying that in order to meet new people you need to go out and meet new people. Ideally, I would have known you in a past life.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

“I’m so grateful that so many things are none of my business.”

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

Genuinely, why does the logo of every AI chatbot look like a butthole?

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

“NOT dishwasher safe!” You’ll be okay, buddy, just do your best in there.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

The future is buffering.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

I’m brave but not “order something different from the restaurant menu” kind of brave.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

Genuinely nothing worse than going bowling with people who are actually good. Like, why are you doing all that?

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

My diet plan is sometimes, when I’m eating chips, I drop some on the floor, and I don’t eat those ones.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

Spoiler alert: Monday doesn’t care about your feelings.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

People said follow your dreams, so I went back to bed.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

I like my bacon like I like my men, slightly burnt and crispy, and probably killing me slowly.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I love when my cat sighs at me, like what’s got you stressed out my little freeloading homicidal maniac!?

Freshly posted on TikTok:

You now have the chance to be the first person to send me nudes.

Spreading quickly via X:

Twitter is where the broken, the used, the fighters, and the lovers gather to appreciate the twisted beauty in one another.

Just shared via Twitch:

If chickens knew how good they tasted, they would understand.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Born to be quiet and mysterious, forced to yap whenever I get the chance.

Live now on X:

When I grow up, I’d like to be a retired lottery winner.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

IKEA products should be cheaper, I’m doing all the work here. It’s like ordering takeout food and still having to cook it when it arrives.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I’ll marry the person who can go to a family event with me and still like me afterward.

Going viral on Reddit:

At this point, I’m sure I’ll meet an alien or zombies before I meet the love of my life!

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