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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

When kids try to guess your age it will either be completely flattering or utterly devastating, but never correct.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

Your in his DMs, I’m on Etsy paying a witch to put a spell on him.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

I always have a bad connection in my head when someone tries to explain a card or board game to me.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

The only appointment I’m ever on time for is disappointment.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

Why do chefs always have to cut everything so fast? It’s just an onion man, why don’t you relax?

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

Dating over 40 is like Hide and Seek but no one is looking for you.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

Every house is a dream house when you can’t afford one.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

If being hydrated is such a great thing, why does it feel like my bladder is pissed off?

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

My muffin top has become a full blown birthday cake.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

I’m going to need to rewatch Idiocracy to see what happens next.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

Updated

4 hours ago

Users Online

3,424

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on TikTok:

My diet was going really well until I woke up.

Going viral on Slack:

Some people are storms dressed like sunsets. Beautiful from a distance. Dangerous up close.

Trending via Snapchat:

There’s a reason we say cheese and not salad when we have to smile for a photo.

Making waves on X:

It’s so hot, I just saw a squirrel fanning its nuts.

Making waves on Threads:

Babymaking music but it’s the Benny Hill theme song.

Going viral on Slack:

Back then, my parents were afraid of what I would do on the Internet. Today, I’m afraid of what my parents do on the Internet.

Seen just now on X:

English is so fake. How can you drink a drink, but you can’t food a food?

Freshly posted on Messenger:

On the internet, you can be anything you want. It’s strange that so many people choose to be stupid.

Live now on Threads:

An escape room, but it’s a bean bag chair in a hammock on a water bed in a bouncy house and you’re over 40. Good luck!

Going viral on Discord:

Kinda rude my neighbors live next to me.

The older I get, the more I walk like Charlie Chaplin.

The older I get, the more I walk like Charlie Chaplin.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Oh, the graceful shuffle of wisdom and age! 🚶‍♂️ Embracing the Chaplin-esque swagger of experience, one step at a time and a subtle twirl of the cane. 🎩 Keep strutting, old soul, for you are a silent comedy in motion!"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

Updated

4 hours ago

Users Online

3,452

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

When someone yells stop I don’t know whether it’s in the name of love, it’s Hammer time, or I should smell the flowers.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

I hurt my bottom after shaking it at the office party. It was a twerk-place injury.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

Well, well, well, if it isn’t the holiday traffic I said I’d avoid even though I did nothing to avoid it.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

Don’t even bother contacting me on the Ouija Board after I die. I barely answer my texts now.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

If you are lonely, dim all lights and put on a horror movie. After a while it won’t feel like you are alone anymore.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

If Twitter has taught me anything, a lot of us aren’t ready for a spelling bee.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

Don’t fall for me — I’ll treat you right, and you’ll get bored and cheat.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

The wind is about to blow me to Oz, so if you see me flying past your window, mind your business.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

You can mess up big time letting someone know you have a printer.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Reddit:

I wonder if the fall of Rome was this stupid.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

LinkedIn: where you desperately hope that one idiot you had a drink with six years ago can somehow help get you a job.

Breaking via Telegram:

The date didn’t go well but she was nice enough to send a PDF of everything I did wrong afterwards.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

I’m living in a parallel universe where I suck at parking.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Getting paid to sleep would be such a dream job.

Spotted on Discord:

Robot bartender rips me in half after listening to my problems for over an hour.

Broadcasted on Slack:

No one watches your story faster than someone who doesn’t talk to you.

Going viral on YouTube:

Whoever has designed parking garages is either an architectural genius or an evil sadist.

Making waves on YouTube:

Distance is my jam; solitude is my peanut butter.

Live now on WeChat:

Old age is always 15 years older than I am.

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