Trendy Funny Quotes

  • When younger I would walk up to the counter and the bartender would know me by name. Now it’s my pharmacist.
  • If my fingers don’t motion like scissors snipping when I ask for a haircut at the salon, how will they know what I mean?
  • If I got a Dollar for every time I thought about you, I would start thinking about you.
  • If you love a friend, let them go. If they come back with coffee, it was meant to be.
  • I never finish what I start. I have a black belt in partial arts.
  • Dear life, when I said “can this day get any worse” it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge.