Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

Me, waiting on an email: What the hell is taking so long, this is ridiculous. Me, sending an email: this can probably wait another three weeks or so.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

Asking the waiter for her phone number and then texting her “can I have more coffee?” two minutes later.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

Roses are red, I’m staying in bed. I’ve made no plans, besides pretending I’m dead.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

Absurdity is the spice of life.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

Holiday dinners with family are like real life boss levels with the worst loot.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

You gotta be careful: don’t say a word to nobody about nothing anytime ever.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

Parents saying “I know my child” will forever be the funniest joke.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

I don’t weigh myself because most scales don’t know how heavy all the grudges I’m holding onto are.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

It’s not my job to tell people where they’re failing in life. It’s just a hobby.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

Imagine how organized the first person to write down a recipe must have been.