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Commentary:
"Well, that was a ride as smooth as a square wheel! 🚂😜 Leaving the train like a pro with a parting shot, 'Thanks for nothing!' 🙄 Farewell, dear locomotive, until we meet again on the rollercoaster of life! 🎢😄"

awkward, awkward moment, commuting, conversation, humor, i, me, moment, next, nothing, person, sarcasm, saying, thanks, train, turning

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

April fools prank: replace all the sugar in your house with cocaine.

1 month ago
April, cocaine, house, humor, joke, mischief, prank, sugar, trick
This could have been an email. Me, while attending a wedding ceremony.

1 month ago
ceremony, commentary, email, event, humor, me, observation, social, social event, unexpected, wedding
Tattoos are a great convo starter. So as an introvert, I kinda regret getting them.

1 month ago
anxiety, conversation, conversation starter, convo, getting, great, humor, i, introvert, regret, self-expression, social, social anxiety, starter, tattoo
If a girl sends you selfies and you don’t compliment her, she should be allowed to electrocute you.

1 month ago
allowed, compliment, consequence, electrocute, expectation, girl, humor, media, relationship, selfy, should, social, social media
Journaling was the most useless thing l ever attempted. Not only am I still suffering but now there’s evidence.

1 month ago
am, ever, evidence, growth, humor, i, irony, journaling, most, only, personal, personal growth, self-reflection, still, suffering, thing, useless, writing
On the upside, my kids are helping with the dishes. On the downside, my kids are helping with the dishes.

1 month ago
chores, dishes, downside, help, helping, humor, kids, parenting, upside

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

Remember, for some unknown reason Santa doesn’t make batteries.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

I’m as single as a one Dollar bill, and I don’t need any change.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

Whoops, accidentally said I couldn’t make it before they even said the date.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

Never underestimate the healing power of a grilled cheese sandwich.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

When I’m done eating… I have to show my hands to my cat, like I’m a blackjack dealer.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

Feels like if cicadas are allowed to just sit in a tree and scream, I should also be.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

Of course I do cardio. It’s called running from my problems.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

I’ve done the math: If the month had 10 days, I would get by with my money.

Spotted on Slack:

You don’t know about stupidity until your female friends open up about their love life.

Just shared via Instagram:

Glasses don’t make you look smart, everyone knows you had to fail a test to get them.

Breaking via Instagram:

White Lotus is a cautionary tale about taking time off from work.

Going viral on TikTok:

I often wonder how men could discover entire continents. Mine can’t even find the butter in the fridge.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Just did a seductive hair flip and an onion ring flew out.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Humanity doesn’t always make a compelling case for its continued existence.

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Activity Log ✨

Turning to the person next to me and saying “thanks for nothing” as I get off the train.

April fools prank: replace all the sugar in your house with cocaine.

Journaling was the most useless thing l ever attempted. Not only am I still suffering but now there’s evidence.

On the upside, my kids are helping with the dishes. On the downside, my kids are helping with the dishes.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I’m not here to offend anyone; I’m here to offend everyone.

Do people exist who manage to wash, dry, fold, and put away their laundry in the same day?

When I get to work, I always hide first, because a good worker is always hard to find.

Why is there a level 6 for toasters? As if someone thinks: “Tonight I’m really in the mood for ashes with butter!”

Drinking at home is convenient, sure, but it’s nothing like the experience of leaving the pub feeling fifty bucks lighter.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

“Devil’s advocate” implies the existence of heaven’s prosecutor.

I’m the type of person to go back to sleep and try to finish a dream.

Well, it took several decades, but I might have finally run out of things to say.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I aspire to be a stay-at-home mom with no kids.

Woke up and immediately broke my resolution to be less sexy this year.

There is nothing an orgasm can’t fix, I have researched it extensively.

SEO experts be like: I was eating a banana when my traffic increased, so bananas are definitely a ranking factor.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Yesterday I really wanted tacos and now I’m eating tacos. Follow your dreams!

I bought a “How to Be Spontaneous” course… it starts in six months.

Grown men carpooling to the strip club so they can get boners and drive home together.

Was that meant to be a joke or did you just accidentally spill a bunch of words you were carrying around?

Met my soulmate again today: mashed potatoes and gravy.

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Turning to the person next to me and saying “thanks for nothing” as I get off the train.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

April fools prank: replace all the sugar in your house with cocaine.

This could have been an email. Me, while attending a wedding ceremony.

Tattoos are a great convo starter. So as an introvert, I kinda regret getting them.

If a girl sends you selfies and you don’t compliment her, she should be allowed to electrocute you.

Journaling was the most useless thing l ever attempted. Not only am I still suffering but now there’s evidence.

On the upside, my kids are helping with the dishes. On the downside, my kids are helping with the dishes.

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