Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Oh, these tattoos? They signify my dedication to patience and commitment…or maybe just my ability to nap like a pro! 💤💉 #InkAndChill"

humor, i, mean, meaning, patience, self-expression, sit, sit still, still, tattoo, time

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53 shares on Threads this month:

Please don’t use fear to manipulate me. Much more effective to use cake.

34 shares on X this month:

Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Make it worse by saying they look tired.

42 shares on Reddit this month:

I don’t want to sound controversial, but having Monday off is great. We should do this every week.

69 shares on Snapchat this month:

Even at my most evil, I’m considerate.

73 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Please do not ask a bookworm if they are going to finish the books they have before buying more. It is very offensive in our culture.

66 shares on Reddit this month:

I don’t care if it’s cliché, I will always enjoy a ‘small town but something messed up is happening’ story.

87 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Watched a movie on Netflix last night that was so bad, I walked out of my own house.

36 shares on Discord this month:

I see people my age out there climbing mountains and skydiving, and here I am feeling good about myself because I got my leg through my underwear without losing my balance.

100 shares on X this month:

My birth year getting a lil too far on those lil scroll lists. I don’t like that.

33 shares on Threads this month:

Thinking you’re too smart to be manipulated is exactly how you get manipulated.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

I don’t wish anyone strife in their relationship but I do wish my neighbors would enunciate a little more when they fight so I can hear better.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

French fries are like the lifeboats on the Titanic. They never give you enough.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

The best essential oils are the ones that drip out of Tacos.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

Have you guys heard of recency bias? I hadn’t, but now I’m seeing it literally everywhere. Must be a big deal.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

Jesus invited prostitutes to dinner and was praised for compassion. I do it, and suddenly I ‘made Christmas awkward.’

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

(Talking to myself) I just don’t know what to tell you.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

If you shouldn’t go food shopping when you’re hungry, then you should definitely not go clothes shopping when you’re naked. Trust me on this.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

I’m still waiting for the day my parents will say, “It’s all fake, we are millionaires, this was just to teach you to be humble”.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

Whenever I feel like I hate my job, I remind myself that I could be a food taster for the emperor.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

It’s quite ironic that “strap on,” backwards, spells “no parts.”

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Telegram:

Sorry I’m late. It’s just because of who I am as a person.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Guys, please stop wearing NASA shirts, I bet you can’t even name one of their songs.

Making waves on X:

Can I come over and look at your Hot Wheels collection?

Seen just now on Discord:

One year of friendship, and I’ve not seen your breasts? Are we really friends?

Just shared via Instagram:

I’m not old, I’m vintage.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Typos keep me humble. Every email is a gamble.

Trending via Telegram:

Saw a girl in a Franz Ferdinand T-shirt. She couldn’t even name three other main causes of the outbreak of World War I.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Facebook is extremely over-engineered for a birthday reminder app.

Going viral on TikTok:

That depressing moment when you start your car to go to work and it doesn’t explode.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Opening a bakery and calling it “I’m a crepe. I’m a weird dough.”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

“What do your tattoos mean?” They mean I can sit still for a long time.

While the optimist and pessimist argued about the glass of water, the opportunist drank it.

Neurodivergents will be like, ‘I’m so tired,’ and then refuse to sleep because they haven’t had enough me time after surviving the day.

“Just be yourself”—that has gotten me mixed results in the past.

Telling a child not to touch something only ensures that child is definitely now going to touch that something.

I miss when The Weeknd was making sex-addict-on-drugs music.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

“What do your tattoos mean?” They mean I can sit still for a long time.

Keep the laugh going 😂

While the optimist and pessimist argued about the glass of water, the opportunist drank it.

Neurodivergents will be like, ‘I’m so tired,’ and then refuse to sleep because they haven’t had enough me time after surviving the day.

“Just be yourself”—that has gotten me mixed results in the past.

Telling a child not to touch something only ensures that child is definitely now going to touch that something.

Me to alien: I, too, try to live among people undetected.

I miss when The Weeknd was making sex-addict-on-drugs music.

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