Trending Funny Quotes πŸ‘‡

  • When the grocery store moves the aisles around, you should be able to call the cops.
  • Got an email from my bank saying β€œis your 401k enough to retire on” and it’s like you are my bank, you know it’s not.
  • Dear predictive text, I am tired of sending people β€œThanksgiving” when they send me a recipe or directions.
  • Live, laugh, lie to the doctor about how many drinks you have per week.
  • My kid tells me his toothpaste is β€œtoo spicy” but he doesn’t seem to be having any trouble with Flamin’ Hot Cheetos.
  • If there’s no open mouth cougher on the plane they hold the flight until they can find one.