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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

If someone steals your joke, you have to file a LOLsuit.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

My dad’s handwriting makes a pharmacist look like a calligrapher.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

Gosh, being a princess is exhausting.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

There’s an app for the people who say they’re not seeking some form of validation here. It’s called a diary.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

I don’t know much about women, but they love containers that hold smaller containers.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

A man outside Boots told me that Jesus died for my sins. Thanks for spoiling the end of the Bible. I was only up to the bit with the fish.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

Unfortunately, I am not nonchalant, I will set myself on fire.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

I love airports because the rules of society don’t apply. Eat a pizza and have a glass of wine at 7 am while in track pants. Nobody cares.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

Is it just me, or were we promised a totally different frog-to-prince ratio?

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

I only obey the traffic rules to get on other peoples’ nerves.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,324

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via TikTok:

Job applications are so stupid. “What’s your desired salary?” Ten billion dollars. Next question.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Thoughts more intrusive than a 90s sitcom neighbor.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Stranger: Your children are angels. Me: So was the devil.

Making waves on YouTube:

Sometimes I wish I had a speed bump between my brain and my mouth.

Going viral on Snapchat:

If you’re bored when you’re alone, obviously you’re in bad company.

Just landed via Instagram:

Welcome to your 40s, you’re too old to sit on the floor and put furniture together.

Just shared via YouTube:

This entire “presidency” is like being tied to a chair and watching a toddler play with a loaded pistol.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

My kids and I have this bit where I say something and they ignore me.

Going viral on Facebook:

Sometimes somebody will share something from way back in my timeline, and I’ll think, “Oh God, what all did they see to get there?”

Going viral on X:

Pepsi & Coca-Cola can’t even be in the same restaurant… and we want world peace.

When I see chocolate, I hear two voices inside me. One says: “Eat it!”. The other says: “Did you hear that? You’re supposed to eat it!”

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When I see chocolate, I hear two voices inside me. One says: “Eat it!”. The other says: “Did you hear that? You’re supposed to eat it!”
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Commentary:
Oh, the eternal struggle of the chocolate lover 😂🍫 It's like there's a delicious conspiracy going on inside your head! One voice is all about indulgence, while the other is the rule-following, guilt-inducing one. But hey, who can resist the sweet siren call of chocolate, right? Dive in, and let the chocolatey adventure begin! 🎉 #ChocolateDrama #SweetToothStruggles

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

33 shares on Pinterest this month:

Kinda rude my neighbors live next to me.

86 shares on YouTube this month:

Not to brag, but I’m on hold and my call is important to them.

17 shares on Pinterest this month:

Hey, are you an aurora borealis or why am I waiting in vain for you to appear?

44 shares on Twitch this month:

How come it’s called “thrift store shopping” instead of Goodwill hunting?

43 shares on Snapchat this month:

Guys love being called “daddy” until the pregnancy test comes back positive.

90 shares on Telegram this month:

In 2007, if you wore a long-sleeve T-shirt under a regular T-shirt, it meant that you liked music.

77 shares on Discord this month:

Love it when my brain is like, “You forgot something,” and then refuses to elaborate.

57 shares on YouTube this month:

Sorry, I ghosted you. I liked you too much.

49 shares on Messenger this month:

My plumber asked me for a Google review. I said I thought it was a really good search engine and I’d give it 8/10.

33 shares on Instagram this month:

How dare this person in traffic hold me up for seconds on the way to a place that doesn’t require my immediate presence?

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

If you are influenced by influencers, you’re beyond retarded.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

People don’t have demonically glowing red eyes in photographs like they used to.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Not eating the cookie I’m craving. I better wake up skinny tomorrow.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Doing an hour of self-care after 23 hours of self-destruction.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Demi Lovato is short for demilitarized love potato.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Whatever y’all heard about me, I’m way worse.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Instead of writing LOL, I’m going to start writing SALTS (smiled a little, then stopped). It’s more accurate.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Phew, I thought the weather was broken because there was this weird yellow thing in the sky. But all’s well, it’s raining again.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

My New Year’s resolution is to procrastinate. I’Il start tomorrow.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Pitching a sitcom where all the top people running a major city have been arrested and by chain of command the person in charge is now a librarian.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,307

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

Crazy part about being an overthinker is most times you right.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

If my fingers don’t motion like scissors snipping when I ask for a haircut at the salon, how will they know what I mean?

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

I love when my husband says, “correct me if I’m wrong,” like I would pass up that opportunity.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

If you’re wondering how motherhood is going, I’m watching a TV show and someone is in traction with a full body cast and I sighed and said “That looks so relaxing”

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

May your life one day be as beautiful as you portray it on social media.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

I did not “try to rob a bank,” I just “aspired” to obtain more money.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

After careful consideration, I think I’d have way more fun if I was incredibly stupid.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

Real lovers are currently single, by the way.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

I’m just impressed by how ugly I’m willing to look in public these day.

Live now on WeChat:

Women will be like “I know a spot,” and then take you directly to hell.

Just landed via YouTube:

Watched a movie on Netflix last night that was so bad, I walked out of my own house.

Spotted on Instagram:

People in glass houses shouldn’t throw orgies.

Going bananas on Telegram:

It’s important to listen to both sides of the debate because you need to hear both the reality of the situation and also the dumbest thing anyone’s ever said.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Pressure washing is like regular washing but with a lot of yelling and tight deadlines.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

How to write complaints: “Dear customer service, first of all, you should know that I am typing this with my middle finger.”

Making waves on YouTube:

Don’t check on your introverted friends this time of year. They’re probably turning their lights off and pretending they’re not home.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Whoever named it overthinking didn’t think hard enough, cause overthinking is never over.

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