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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

The most I’ve ever spent on a bottle of wine is about 45 minutes.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

I wish you could put your whole life on do not disturb.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

I like waiters. They bring a lot to the table.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

We should start referring to age as “levels.” So when you’re level 80, it sounds a lot cooler than just being an older person.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

I’m not sure what everyone at my coworking space does for work, but I’m pretty sure one guy’s job is chewing.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

Once you start paying rent, every joke stops being funny.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

At my age, you check a friend’s Facebook page to make sure they’re still alive before wishing them a happy birthday.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

Apparently the term for migraine-sufferer is ‘migraneur.’ Nice getting recognition as a kind of artisan of suffering.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

Not to brag, but I just walked upstairs and remembered why.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

My boyfriend invited the neighbors over for dinner, “sometime,” so now we have to move.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2305 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,467

Funny Quotes Topics

15,179

Funny Quotes Images

12,467

14 minutes ago

3,441

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WeChat:

Why would anyone ever jump OUT of a cake?

Spotted on TikTok:

You can mess up big time letting someone know you have a printer.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I’m begging for a day to be added in between Saturday and Sunday.

Going viral on WeChat:

Ugh, those red and blue flashing lights are interfering with my driving and scrolling.

Reported on Slack:

Threatening my husband with tariffs every time he tries to make me watch sports on TV.

Just shared via WeChat:

Things can feel really overwhelming. Sometimes days or even weeks can get really hectic. Don’t forget that life is all about getting as much phone time as possible. Never lose sight of that.

Just shared via Messenger:

One of the top features of squirrels, for me, has got to be that squirreliness.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I refuse to be bound by the social construct called “the calendar.” Merry Christmas, everyone.

Shared recently on Messenger:

You’re never too old or too stupid to become older and stupider.

Live now on Snapchat:

If you say “awesome sauce” on a first date, you’ll still have that lucky condom in your wallet tomorrow.

When I see chocolate, I hear two voices inside me. One says: “Eat it!”. The other says: “Did you hear that? You’re supposed to eat it!”

6 months ago

When I see chocolate, I hear two voices inside me. One says: “Eat it!”. The other says: “Did you hear that? You’re supposed to eat it!”

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Commentary:
Oh, the eternal struggle of the chocolate lover 😂🍫 It's like there's a delicious conspiracy going on inside your head! One voice is all about indulgence, while the other is the rule-following, guilt-inducing one. But hey, who can resist the sweet siren call of chocolate, right? Dive in, and let the chocolatey adventure begin! 🎉 #ChocolateDrama #SweetToothStruggles

chocolate, cravings, eat, hear, humor, i, inner, inner struggle, inside, me, struggle, temptation, voices

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2305 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,467

Funny Quotes Topics

15,179

Funny Quotes Images

12,467

14 minutes ago

3,454

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

Do you think birds, once they get older, start people-watching?

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

One day I will start learning from my mistakes. Today is not that day. Tomorrow isn’t looking so good either.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

Why can’t periods just last for an hour? Like, you made your point, I’m not pregnant, you can leave now.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

You don’t know your own leg strength until you’re kicking the end of a hotel tucked bed sheet.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

Home is where you can walk around like a bum.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

You know the nap is good when it left you marks.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

Wearing white pants today, so it’s really just a matter of time before I spill something on myself.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

Not to brag, but I finished an entire book in one sitting. I’m going to need some new crayons.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

I accidentally bought a pair of nose-cancelling headphones and now my glasses keep falling off.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

I try not to laugh at my own jokes, but we all know I’m hilarious.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I know life can be tough, but you still gotta wear deodorant.

Seen just now on Discord:

Weirdos gonna weird.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

If your god commands you to kill others, find another god.

Seen just now on Slack:

The only sunscreen that’s 100% effective is abstinence.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I wish you could put your whole life on do not disturb.

Trending via X:

This year I’d like an advent calendar with 24 different tranquilizers.

Reported on Reddit:

Sorry, I’m late. I was trying to convince a bathroom hand dryer that I exist.

Trending via LinkedIn:

I’m only dead on the outside.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Pasta is something I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Therapy is nice but singing as loud as you can in your car is free.

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