Trendy Funny Quotes

  • I wonder if BBQ thinks about me too.
  • I wish my doctor would put down a little treat to distract me like my vet does for my dog.
  • You know what goes great with helping your kid with math homework? Vodka!
  • It’s always annoying to be woken up by some guy mowing his lawn. Just go around me, man.
  • “This would be better if there was cake” really does ring true in any situation.
  • The tragedy of my life is that I theoretically know when I shouldn’t say anything. And then I hear myself talking.