Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

I named my wifi “The Promised LAN” because it always connects, but occasionally leaves you wandering in the desert looking for a better signal.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

If only guys would moan in bed like they do in the gym…

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

If I’m out drinking and “Push It” starts playing, take me home immediately.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

Dollar Tree needs to just go ahead and rename it to A Couple Dollars.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

What I want for dinner hasn’t been invented yet.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

Out of sheer boredom, I opened the front door and rang the doorbell. I was so happy.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

My two moods are eating a breakfast sandwich or wishing I was eating a breakfast sandwich.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

Dear LOL, thanks for being there when I have nothing else to say.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

Talking to animals doesn’t make you crazy, hearing them talk back does.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

Doing taxes for an ant who inherited a teaspoon of sugar.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,246

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Messenger:

I was explaining to my Ukrainian colleague the phrase ‘There’s no such thing as a free lunch’. She told me the equivalent in Ukrainian is ‘The only free cheese is in the mousetrap’ — which is so much better.

Trending via YouTube:

Getting road rage alone in my house.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I’m always best at the things I shouldn’t do.

Shared recently on X:

My patience is like a gift card, not sure how much is left but lets give it a try.

Just landed via Messenger:

Time to get off the internet, I’ve already had enough stupid for the week.

Live now on Instagram:

Giant-sized bag of candy: I’m resealable. Me: That won’t be necessary.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Me, with $33 left after paying bills: Let’s see how much a Land Rover costs.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Auto-correct and I are in a toxic relationship.

Shared recently on Threads:

Can’t wait for when we’re all in our 80’s and still tweeting.

Making waves on Messenger:

One day you’re young and carefree and the next, you’re preheating the bathroom before you go in for a shower.

World domination? I don’t even want to be responsible for myself.

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Commentary:
"World domination? 🌍 Nah, I can barely handle adulting for myself! 🤷‍♂️ It's all fun and games until someone asks me to take over the world! 😂"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

13 shares on Telegram this month:

If you know karate, you shouldn’t have to pay for stuff.

58 shares on TikTok this month:

Naked and Afraid because there’s a spider in the shower with me.

66 shares on X this month:

My life coach traded me.

98 shares on YouTube this month:

An escape room, but it’s a bean bag chair in a hammock on a water bed in a bouncy house and you’re over 40. Good luck!

33 shares on YouTube this month:

Stick with me and you’ll go places. None of them good, but still.

71 shares on Slack this month:

If ads were a person, it would be that one neighbor who won’t stop talking to you at the most inconvenient of times.

65 shares on Instagram this month:

This year has been the perfect blend of me losing my mind and having the time of my life.

87 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Weddings should have a worst man.

49 shares on X this month:

Sorry to interrupt your scrolling, but I hope life gets better for you.

18 shares on Instagram this month:

Which one of you shrunk all of my jeans?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m bringing back “holy moly” and nobody can stop me.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Not many things sadder than an untickled fancy.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I have been touched inappropriately by the sun today.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

The guy in the stall beside doesn’t know he can shut off his camera shutter.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m bad at being sad. Three mins later, I’m making jokes about my situation.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

The 70s, 80s, and 90s were the best decades – so many memories, no evidence.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Working my first office job. Is it normal to have nothing to do?

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Sunday is my favorite day to invent new things to worry about.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m eating for two; me and the person I strive to be.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Ears are great for tucking your hair behind in the wind. Big shout out to ears.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,356

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

Do people who do triathlons know that they don’t have to?

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

Welcome to Twitter, where people never let their lack of knowledge get in the way of expressing a strong opinion.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

Santa baby, slip some mental stability under the tree, for me.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

Once I see a vein on your forehead while we arguing, I’ll let you be.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

My New Year’s resolution is to procrastinate. I’Il start tomorrow.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

I miss when The Weeknd made haunted strip club music. Didn’t know how good I had it.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

Patience and forbearance are those qualities you develop when there are too many witnesses.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

Adults chasing the popularity they missed out on as teenagers are the worst.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

If someone asks you why you’re single, just answer with: “Got lucky.”

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

Microsoft Teams needs to add a “spank” reaction for when I want to reprimand my employees during a video call.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Discord:

Horror movies have ruined the joy of skinny-dipping for me.

Seen just now on TikTok:

“There are lots of benefits to working here. We have fun social events and activities after work!” And what are the benefits?

Going viral on Twitch:

The next time someone texts me “we need to talk,” I’ll reply, “Yes, we really need to talk,” so that I won’t be the only one stressing.

Spotted on Messenger:

And no thanking Jesus unless he actually shows up at the ceremony.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

My future husband is very lucky; he will never stay hungry, because I know so many restaurants with delicious food.

Spotted on Facebook:

Someone asked, “Can I bum a scroll?” because they deleted Instagram off their phone.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I was waiting on the universe but the universe was actually waiting on me.

Just landed via Discord:

My children are very helpful. For example, when I ask them to do something, they suggest a different child that could do it instead.

Trending via LinkedIn:

You can just make up words and if you say them in a Scottish accent, people will think they’re real: Looka the wee janglers on that tary bibbit.

Going bananas on Facebook:

I know I’m almost 40 because I had a few drinks last night and woke up this morning thinking: Oh no I bought so many socks online last night.

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