Trendy Funny Quotes

  • I could never give up my dog, he knows too much.
  • My neighbor told me he heard me having sex this morning. I was putting on my shoes.
  • At my age, you check a friend’s Facebook page to make sure they’re still alive before wishing them a happy birthday.
  • Gnocchi: The small, chubby children of spaghetti and potatoes.
  • Aging gracefully is like getting steamrolled gracefully, you should really be screaming.
  • If he has other girls who make him smile, be different and make him cry.