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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

I’m not totally useless. I can be used as a bad example.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

The great thing about playing the trombone is no one knows if you’re good at it or not.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

Old people be like, “No elbows on the table, it’s rude,” then say something racist.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

I’ve been saving these cleavage crumbs just for you babe.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

Girl, you gotta try this healing potion. It’s called beer.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

Living la vida taco!

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

Losing weight in your 40’s: LOL!

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

When I get married, I want my wedding video to be filmed like it’s an episode of The Office. I want camera zooms, eye contact, side commentary— all of it.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

It’s only a family vacation if you think “We’re never doing this again” at least once.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

Whatever the plot is in Barbie’s movie, my dolls have been through worse.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,474

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Discord:

They should invent something in between coffee and narcotics.

Just landed via Threads:

Not to brag, but I’ve done nothing for several hours.

Live now on WeChat:

Free marriage tip: Don’t ask your wife when dinner will be ready while she is mowing the lawn.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Life hack: put on an apron at home and people think you’re super busy doing important stuff even when you’re not.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Yes, hello, I’d like to exchange my generational trauma for generational wealth, please.

Just landed via Snapchat:

My mom asked me to hand out invitations for my brother’s surprise birthday party, and that’s when I realized he was the favorite twin.

Spotted on Reddit:

Congratulations to the sweater, another year of being the most disgustingly named piece of clothing.

Seen just now on Discord:

Depression is embarrassing because sometimes it makes you miss appointments and not return phone calls, and when the fog starts to lift, you gotta do a whole bloody apology tour.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Big fan of calling artists their first name and then the band name as their last name.

Breaking via WeChat:

I was about to organise my closet, but I then I found what I was looking for.

Іf you’re sad about being alone on Valentine’s Day, just remember that nobody loves you on any other day of the year either.

Witty quote about loneliness with dark humor on a playful background.
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Commentary:
Don't let Valentine's Day bring you down! Remember, you're consistently unloved all year round – now that's what I call consistency! 😅💔 #ValentinesDayBlues

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

76 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Political ads be like: send us money so we can send you more ads.

59 shares on YouTube this month:

I need something good to watch while I’m on my phone.

11 shares on Telegram this month:

My favorite part about health insurance is how your teeth and eyeballs are add-ons.

66 shares on Discord this month:

If your wife uses “I” it means she will be doing something. “We” means you will be.

42 shares on Telegram this month:

Befuddlingly, a palm tree won’t fit in your hand.

46 shares on Telegram this month:

Future generations will never have to live in unprecedented times, because we’re precedenting the Hell out of everything right now.

42 shares on Instagram this month:

Man, these end times are taking forever.

39 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Life is short, unless you’re listening to a kid describing an episode of PAW Patrol.

86 shares on WeChat this month:

Just a reminder that with Die Hard, Robin Hood and Love Actually, ‘Alan Rickman ruins Christmas’ is a whole movie subgenre.

29 shares on Threads this month:

Instead of meeting any new people, I would much rather un-meet the ones I already know.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Grown men asking Grok if this is real.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Tons of names in my phones are “Kenny Landlord,” “Mike Electric,” or “Pete Do Not Answer,” and I just realized this is how Anglo surnames have always worked.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s not my fault that when I said you looked “stunning” you assumed I meant in a positive way.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I love replying “Need him” when someone posts their boyfriend on their Instagram story.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s called the Summer Olympics so one of the events should be running in flip flops to catch the ice cream man.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Spotify Wrapped: February was your basketball watermelon loudspeaker phone call hip hop moment.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry, I’m poor, I can’t afford to pay attention.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

If you saw me licking the plate after the charcuterie was finished, no you didn’t.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Those who still fit in their wedding dresses years later haven’t been making enough effort eating.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Come on, brain, release the happy chemicals.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,656

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

Sleeping in in winter is really great, you still have about an hour of daylight left before it gets dark again.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

The hairdresser asking me what special plans I have for the day like this wasn’t it.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

How coked up was the guy that came up with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

You will meet a girl who is very strange and a little bit evil. It’s really important that you don’t lose me.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

Googling symptoms until you cry.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

My ex was like “I know a spot,” then took me to the lowest point in my life.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

All I’m saying is that I’m closer to being a millionaire than Jeff Bezos is.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

This time last night, there was a spider so big in my bathroom it put me under a glass on a postcard and carried me out.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

I really love how squirrels get extra chubby heading into winter mostly because it’s super relatable.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

Home is where you trust the toilet seat.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Twitch:

The thing I’ve always found tricky about money is knowing how much I should have.

Breaking via Slack:

I might look like I have my life together, but that’s only because the mess is out of the camera frame.

Making waves on Telegram:

If we breakup because you “wanna focus on school,” I better see you in Harvard.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Nice thing about dating a doctor is if you wanna stop seeing them, you can just eat an apple.

Just landed via WeChat:

This wouldn’t happen to me if I were a huge dragon.

Seen just now on WeChat:

No, thanks—social drama. Puberty sucked enough the first time around.

Spreading quickly via X:

Returned my 3D printer, but not before making a 3D printer with it.

Just landed via Slack:

I once broke up with a guy because he ate half my french fries, and when I get really lonely, I still think about those french fries.

Spotted on Instagram:

I am grateful for my experiences. I just didn’t need them all.

Just landed via YouTube:

She left me because of my poor English. But I doesn’t care.

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