50+ Funny Appearance Jokes That Keep the Mirror Entertaining

New funny appearance jokes

• Having long hair as a guy is so scary because some days I look like the charming lead of a classic film from the 80s, and other days I look like a Discord mod that runs his Magic: The Gathering group like the Navy.

• Females be naked so much online, I be like, damn, I bet she look good in a sweater.

• When I gain weight, I should get to designate where on my body it goes.

• Girls won’t admit it, but they don’t like super fine dudes; they like medium ugly, funny dudes that dress nice.

• Your dog immediately knows you’re leaving when you put on nice clothes… only because you usually look homeless when you’re at home.

• If you talk about astrology, and no one stops you, it means you must be incredibly pretty.

• I look so pretty today. I should go for a walk and let the people enjoy this.

• The prettier you are, the weirder it gets.

• Photogenic people are magical. You could snap a pic of them mid- explosive diarrhea, and they’d still look good.

• I grew up ugly, so I had to be funny, and then got hot in my twenties, so that’s how I became perfect.

Top funny appearance jokes

• Obviously, I’m gonna upload pictures with filters and in my best angles. If you wanna see the ugly side of me, come to my house, but bring ice cream.

• Going to the gym for my health and wellbeing? No, I just wanna look good naked.

• Gatekeeping how insanely handsome I am by looking like total shit all the time.

• “You don’t look 40.” How am I supposed to look?

• People are too judgmental these days… I can tell just by looking at them.

• The only guarantee in life is, if you run errands looking like shit, you will run into everyone you haven’t seen in months.

• The key to looking amazing is looking like shit most of the time, so it’s more of a surprise.

• Millennials are just 30-40-year-olds who look 20-30 years old and feel 80-90 years old.

• We like to vilify hot people, but it’s important to know that people who aren’t hot are also terrible.

• Nothing bores me like twins who don’t look alike, you should’ve just dropped later if you’re not going to participate.

Popular funny appearance jokes

• “Overdressed” is a social construct created by hating girls.

• It’s freaking me out to think of how bad I’d look at the Met Gala.

• Doesn’t matter if the chicken or the egg came first. Still a weird thing to just appear.

• Hairless cats look like the devil screwed up a possession.

• Perks of being ugly: phone battery lasts longer.

• You look like something I drew with my left hand.

• I’m actually really good looking if you don’t look at me.

• I may look fine on the outside, but on the inside I’m hungry again.

• My front facing camera got me looking like a failed science project.

• Sometimes, I wonder what my life would be like if I had a good haircut.

More funny appearance jokes

• Do you know how much effort goes into looking this regular?

• We need a word for that weird feeling you get when you learn what a podcaster looks like.

• You can always tell when a man’s mustache is performative and not representative of his true spirit.

• Having a good heart has done nothing but made me look stupid.

• After my death, I’ll be very busy. The list of people to whom I want to appear as a ghost is getting longer every day.

• You can’t hurt me. You’re not how I look first thing in the morning.

• You look like you can go as yourself for Halloween.

• Stop asking me if I’m tired. Can’t I just be ugly?

• Y’all need to stop marrying people who look just like you do but with a wig on.

• I think I look pretty okay for my age. It’s just when I hold menus two feet from my face that I know the ruse is up.

Witty appearance jokes

• I’ve never seen a McDonald’s or a Burger King under construction. They just show up.

• And no thanking Jesus unless he actually shows up at the ceremony.

• Why do people always assume it’s a compliment when I tell them their baby looks just like them?

• I can easily spot a wolf in sheep’s clothing but this guy was dressed like my grandmother which threw me off.

• Tried to pull off a smokey eye, ended up looking like I went three rounds with McGregor.

• Can we talk about what little red riding hoods actual grandma must have looked like?

• The most important thing I learned in life, and I can’t stress enough, it doesn’t matter where you went to college. The only thing that matters is that you’re really hot.

• “Ooh, you’ve caught the sun.” Translation: You look like you’ve been swimming in a volcano.

• Hey, are you an aurora borealis or why am I waiting in vain for you to appear?

• Welcome to your 40s: your chin looks lonely, here’s another one.