50+ Funny Sad Jokes That Make Tears Turn into Laughs

New funny sad jokes

• I’m bad at being sad. Three minutes in, and I’m already making fun of my situation.

• My toxic trait is binging a show too fast, then getting sad when I have nothing to watch.

• I have a sundress and no man to bend me over in it, sad day.

• So sad. Elvis died before he could see the Lego movie. He woulda been like, ‘Mama, those blocks are movin’ and shakin.’

• It’s never too early to be sad about having to work the next day.

• I have never seen a sad person sliding down a water slide.

• I find it sad that my universal remote does not control the universe. Not even remotely.

• There’s really nothing as pathetic as watching a sad little man argue with Grok in hopes of manipulating the conversation to get an answer he wants.

• The human body is incredible. It’s like, “Oh, you’re stressed and sad? Here, enjoy this acne.”

• Sure, money can’t buy happiness, but it can definitely buy a jet ski… and have you ever seen a sad person on a jet ski?

Top funny sad jokes

• Sorry, can’t. I’m currently nodding in class so the teacher doesn’t feel sad.

• I’m bad at being sad. Three mins later, I’m making jokes about my situation.

• When you’re sad, find two equally sad friends and form a cryangle.

• It’s cool that women want me, but it makes me sad that fish fear me.

• People who listen to their sad playlist when they’re happy are a different breed of unstable.

• Life hack: You can’t be sad if you are asleep.

• I was sad, but then I ordered some new clothes. I’m okay now.

• Why is everyone against sugar? Who stood beside you when things went wrong and you were sad? It wasn’t lettuce, for sure.

• If you see me sad, just hug me and put some money in my pocket.

• The key to a healthy relationship is taking turns being the sad one.

Popular funny sad jokes

• If you feel fat and sad just know it’s someone out there fatter than you.

• And what do we do when we are sad? “Add to cart”

• My age no longer permits me to suffer for love, so if you see me sad, it’s due to lack of money.

• It’s really sad that April Fools is the only day people are appropriately skeptical of stuff they read on the internet.

• Don’t be sad, laundry, nobody’s doing me either.

• Іf you’re sad about being alone on Valentine’s Day, just remember that nobody loves you on any other day of the year either.

• Weight gain makes me sad. Luckily, eating cheers me right back up.

• No matter how sad their story is, don’t let anybody move into your house.

• You should be able to call in sad to work.

• I get sad whenever they’re mean to Zoidberg in Futurama.

More funny sad jokes

• Putting away the Christmas tree. Sad day for cats.

• Name a better duo than sad and depressed.

• I get sad when I see how old people my age are.

• Sometimes being a woman is just trying to figure out if you’re hormonally sad, seasonally sad, or genuinely falling apart.

• I love cute tiny purses, but I’m sad to say I can never be a cute tiny purse girl. I need to haul my hoard of objects everywhere I go, because what if….

• I think it’s sad that getting married is one of the only ways to guarantee somebody will be forced to make a speech about how great you are.

• I want to have a penguin that just waddles up to me whenever I’m sad.

• I used to be sad about the climate apocalypse, but I went on a few dates and, honestly, I’m ready now.

• If you watch soccer backwards, it’s about 11 sad and 11 happy men who nag each other until they get along eventually.

• I’m clumsy but there are upsides. For example, if I finish my chips and I’m sad there’s no more chips, I look in my lap and I always find chips.

Witty sad jokes

• If you are sad, just sing and you will realize that your voice is worse than your problem.

• Whenever I see an athlete eating quark, I get sad, because the quark could have been turned into cheesecake.

• If you don’t buy any snacks, you’re proud for a moment and then incredibly sad.

• I was gonna get on the treadmill, but then the couch will get sad.

• I don’t need a psychic to tell me which planets make me sad. It’s earth.

• I’m always sad when my sandwich is over.

• If you wanna make someone cry, just show them the earliest year they can retire.

• There has been a British voice in my head saying, “Bit sad innit,” for the past few weeks.

• Your eyes water when you yawn because you miss your bed and it makes you sad.

• Them: Money doesn’t bring happiness. Me: Pass the money over here, I like to be sad.