If you give a man a fish, that fish is basically gone. Way to lose your fish.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

Explain it to me like I’m five then do it for me like I’m one hundred.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

I can’t believe I used to think I was stressed in high school.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

I was guest-starring on The Love Boat when you woke me up. You’re dead to me.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

I don’t wanna party like it’s 1999, I want to pay my bills like it’s 1999.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

Anyone who thinks office jobs are harmless has never cut their finger on paper.

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Today I couldn’t find a parking space at work, so I drove back home. Looks like they have enough people there.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

Aging is the worst. I miss the good ol’ days when my pain was strictly emotional.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

I actually love talking to strangers, they will unknowingly say some shit that shifts your perspective, and you never see them again.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

Dude, we’re biting off more than we can chew tonight if you want to pull up.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

Hotel elevators are hell for those of us who are small-talk failures. The guy asked me, “You just get in today too?” and I said, “Well, no,” then stood in silence.