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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

When someone says “I expected more of you”, I’m always like “well who’s fault is that?”

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

Robert De Niro always looks like he just smelled a nasty fart.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

A coffee the size of Manhattan please.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

I think it’s time when we buy new clothes that we have the option to buy the body they’re being modelled in too.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

Your opinions are not my business.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

Therapy isn’t enough, she needs to know people congratulated me when we broke up.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

In case anyone hasn’t told you today, I’m beautiful.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

Hey! Sorry I missed your text, I am processing a non-stop 24/7 onslaught of information with a brain designed to eat berries in a cave.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

I don’t know why hair extensions are exclusive to women, I want to look like a centaur.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

I hate it when I turn on the car in the morning and the music starts blasting… It’s like, woah, I’m not the same person I was last night.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

770 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,932

Funny Quotes Topics

13,903

Funny Quotes Images

10,932

Updated

52 seconds ago

Users Online

3,440

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WhatsApp:

Mercury is no longer in retrograde, so never trust a cow because the sun can’t swim.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Life is just resetting your password until you die.

Just landed via Discord:

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

Trending via Discord:

When I worked as a restaurant critic, I wrote under a nom nom nom de plume.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Boyfriends come and go… reply guys stay forever. Against your will, even.

Shared recently on Threads:

I don’t drink alcohol. I like suffering raw.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Computer dating is fine, if you’re a computer.

Trending via Twitch:

What if all the ancient Greek sculptures are actually victims of Medusa?

Just shared via Slack:

If you respond, “A reason for living,” when a store employee asks if they can help you find something, they will leave you alone.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

I have so many mood swings, I’m basically a swing now.

Anyone know if we got the meek inheriting the Earth today?

Anyone know if we got the meek inheriting the Earth today?
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Well, it looks like the meek are busy trying to inherit the Earth today, but so far they're just getting some sunburn and maybe a few patches of grass 🌱🤔 #WaitingForTheMeekRevolution"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

770 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,932

Funny Quotes Topics

13,903

Funny Quotes Images

10,932

Updated

52 seconds ago

Users Online

3,440

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

Realizing this yogurt I’m eating is more active and cultured than I am.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

It’s important to get out of the house every once and a while to remind yourself of why you don’t go out.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

If you’re feeling a little uneasy about the state of global geopolitics, remember to spend as much time on your phone as possible. The more information you ingest as you scroll, the calmer you will become.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

I could win awards for having a bad memory. In fact, I probably did. How would I know.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

I don’t mean to brag, but I put together a puzzle in 1 day and the box said 2-4 years.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

Apologies about the delay to your flight. We’re just waiting for one 3D printed part, but apparently a ‘fuselage’ takes a little time.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

Senility is the pits. Spent an hour driving around the mall parking lot looking for my car.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

First date idea: I lean in close and surprise you with a wet willy.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

Waffles are just pancakes with abs.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

My search history is filled with me googling regular words just to make sure I’m using them right.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

A real smart TV would increase the volume when you started eating chips.

Going viral on Pinterest:

My age is news to me every single time I remember.

Making waves on Snapchat:

How inappropriate is it to ask a stranger to scratch your back? Need to know ten minutes ago.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Suffering from a forehead kisses deficiency (self-diagnosed).

Trending via TikTok:

I should get paid a lot more for being the boss of me.

Just landed via Snapchat:

The idea that the zombies in the 28 Days series exist entirely in Britain is genuinely hilarious. The rest of the world saw that and was like, “Yeah, they can handle it on their own.”

Shared recently on Threads:

The best way to contact me is to meet me in my dreams at 3 a.m.

Just shared via Facebook:

Sometimes our greatest achievement in life is being able to survive our own thoughts.

Seen just now on Slack:

“Dress for the job you want, not for the job you have” is all well and good until you’re rocking a tutu.

Seen just now on Threads:

Saturdays are for doing absolutely everything or doing absolutely nothing, everybody knows that.

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