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I used to think I was indecisive, but I’m not too sure any more.

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I’m really looking forward to another exciting year staring at my phone.

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The night before a day off is more satisfying than the actual day off.

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If youโ€™re going to walk in my shoes, please also wear my FitBit.

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Imagine hating on me and Iโ€™m just in my room also hating on me.

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On Halloween, Iโ€™ll be handing out full size bars of really bad advice. Only while supplies last.

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Why can’t my fat leave me like everything else does?

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It takes guts to be an organ donor.

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One day we will tell our grandkids how far we had to scroll to get to the recipe.

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I bet doom scroll meant something way cooler in the middle ages.

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Starting is the hardest part. Unless it’s eating chocolate. Then stopping is the hardest part.

Starting is the hardest part. Unless it’s eating chocolate. Then stopping is the hardest part.

Commentary:
"True story: My willpower has a blackout every time chocolate enters the scene! ๐Ÿซ๐Ÿคทโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ˜‚"



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