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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

I signed up to the gym a few months ago and still don’t see any results. I’ll go by there this weekend and ask what’s going on.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

Bird flu? Yeah, they’re known to do that.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

“Follow your heart,” as advice, is sort of like “abandon yourself to cognitive bias.”

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

The main cause of immigration is we’re still a country where people want to go, but we’re working on fixing that.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

I will not accept a hint. I will act dumb until you say it clearly to me.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

My IQ used to be higher than my weight, but now I’m fat and dumb.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

Being excited to get in bed is a different level of adulting.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

I bet before the band got popular, Barenaked Ladies concerts had a lot of pissed off attendees.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

Breaking News: Local woman stuns in new unnecessary online purchase.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

Internet strangers offer the best advice.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

790 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,952

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,952

Updated

31 minutes ago

Users Online

3,433

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on YouTube:

We were having tea with my mother-in-law the other day and out of the blue she said, “I’ve decided I want to be cremated.” I said, “Alright, get your coat.”

Seen just now on TikTok:

Whoever said diamonds are a girl’s best friend clearly has never met shredded cheese.

Spotted on Messenger:

They should invent a day where you aren’t tired.

Shared recently on Slack:

Anyone else think it’s weird how cancer kills more people than any other astrological sign.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

It’s crazy that you don’t really argue with a baby for the first year of its life and then you have to argue with the baby every day.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

You get to choose which path you take. I see some of you have chosen the psychopath.

Just landed via Discord:

Dating scene and the job market are the same right now, just stay where you are.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Does everyone have that one colleague at work who puts you in a bad mood just by looking at them?

Just shared via Threads:

A late person is never happier than when the person they’re meeting is later than them.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

How dare you say I’m crazy on the eve of my cat’s wedding?

I read all your bumper stickers and now we’re both stupid.

I read all your bumper stickers and now we’re both stupid.
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Commentary:
Looks like someone was caught trying to improve their IQ through bumper stickers, only to realize it backfired! 🤓🚗 "I brake for knowledge" may not have been the wisest choice after all! 😆🤦‍♂️ #BumperStickerStruggles

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

790 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,952

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,952

Updated

31 minutes ago

Users Online

3,430

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

Do you also sometimes turn on the TV just so you have background noise or am I weird?

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

If at first you don’t succeed, try two more times so your failure is statistically significant.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

I have a great poker face because I have no idea what’s going on.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

Crying while wearing a backpack has unlocked a new level of humiliation I did not know was possible.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

I’ve been saving these cleavage crumbs just for you babe.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

90% of parenting is just thinking about when you can lie down again.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

If you occasionally blow on your bourbon during a Zoom meeting, the other folks will think you’re enjoying a hot cup of tea.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

I run a parody bank account.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

Welcome to downtown where the crosswalk signals are merely suggestions and you hope the puddles are water.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Pinterest:

If my wife doesn’t win anything on this $2 scratch ticket, it’s going to go down as one of the worst birthday presents ever.

Reported on Telegram:

My least controversial opinion is that IKEA should have a bar. I think we were meant to consume three beers and then purchase a Gjörfbunkle.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I love how one day my body just decided “You know what you really need is some ear hair.”

Breaking via Reddit:

No, I don’t like nature. I can’t respect anything that would so flippantly turn dinosaurs into birds.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I don’t need the web for attention, I jog in a wedding dress.

Just landed via TikTok:

Just know that somebody out there is thinking of you, and you should really lock your doors.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

If I was a mythical creature, I’d be a Sighclops.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Wish I could just go back to eating cookies and not knowing what day it was.

Making waves on Discord:

My idea of fun is watching something on the TV while I look at relevant Wikipedia articles on my phone.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I get it dogs, I wish I could also bark at strangers approaching my house.

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