Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

FaceTiming me is for platinum members only.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

I’m sick of getting woken up at 6am by the bin men. I just want a nice sleep but they always insist that I get out of the bin before they collect it.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

I don’t have a favorite vampire. If you ask me, they all suck.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

Yesterday I went to a fight and a baseball game broke out.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

Taking yesterday’s bad mood on a multi-day tour.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

I’d rather throw everything I own in the trash than try to deal with people on Facebook Marketplace.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

I’m awake and working. Please respect my privacy during these trying and emotional times.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

I love how this generation broke the previous misconception that “people with tattoos can’t get good jobs” and now we all agree that “people with and without tattoos can’t get good jobs”.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

I just start doing the Macarena when I want to end conversations now.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

I have officially reached the age where I am bothered by lights being on, doors left open, loud noises, and people.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

216 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,485

Funny Quotes Topics

17,557

Funny Quotes Images

15,485

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,689

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via YouTube:

Most of your problems emanate from assuming that you are intelligent. Ease into your stupidity, and be free.

Trending via Messenger:

Forget carrying me to bed; carry me to the end of the workweek. Then we can talk.

Live now on Discord:

Life begins when you can afford it.

Just landed via Facebook:

Actually, no one sees you at your worst like your coworkers do.

Trending via LinkedIn:

We get it, comma, you went to Oxford.

Making waves on Messenger:

It seems that after checking my bank account, I need to turn to a life of crime.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Can it still be an emotional support animal if the animal doesn’t want to participate? Asking for my cat.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

A massage is not enough, I need to be rolled through a pasta machine.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Zen and the Art of Empty Pockets.

Just shared via YouTube:

If I say goodnight and an hour later you see me online, it’s not that I lied; it’s just that I failed.

A babysitter is a teenager who acts like an adult while the adults go out to act like teenagers.

0
A babysitter is a teenager who acts like an adult while the adults go out to act like teenagers.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Being a babysitter is like playing reverse roles – while the kids are asleep, the teenager steps up to adulting duty, ensuring the real adults have a chance to relive their youth! 🧒👩‍🦰🕺👯‍♂️ #AgeSwap #TeenagerAtHeart"

, , , , , , , , , ,

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

37 shares on Twitch this month:

Drinking coffee because throwing chairs at people is frowned upon.

71 shares on Slack this month:

Home is where the Wi-Fi connects automatically and no one chews loud.

25 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My dog sighs a lot for someone who doesn’t pay any bills.

74 shares on WeChat this month:

The cool side of the pillow just stole my boyfriend.

80 shares on Slack this month:

Uninstalling Instagram can increase your IQ by 10%.

33 shares on Messenger this month:

The only sunscreen that’s 100% effective is abstinence.

45 shares on WeChat this month:

Telemarketer: “Hello, am I speaking to the head of the household?” Me, handing the phone to my cat: “It’s for you.”

95 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m so single right now, I can’t even spell relayshaunship.

11 shares on Discord this month:

Them: “Ugh, could you be more annoying?” Me: “Oh God, yes!”

71 shares on Facebook this month:

Abandoned amusement parks are so creepy. It’s no wonder they were abandoned.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Me every time I wake up: Oh no, not again!

8 folks are currently checking 👀

The voodoo magic of a tranquil night’s sleep

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I noticed you haven’t posted in a few weeks, and just wanted to thank you.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Dear God, make me a bird so I can fly. Fly far, far away and also so I can poop on people.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

People will be like “there is no right or wrong way to do it” until you do it the wrong way.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Sure, sex is great, but have you ever closed a dozen tabs after finishing an academic paper?

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m just a crazy person looking for a crazy person who finds me completely normal.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Thank god I played a lot of Tetris as a kid or I never would have been able to get everything into the freezer.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

If you haven’t tried blindfold archery, you should give it a go. You don’t know what you’re missing.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Another customer getting a haircut started talking to my barber. Please don’t talk to my barber. You have your own.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

216 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,485

Funny Quotes Topics

17,557

Funny Quotes Images

15,485

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,440

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

We are talking about how beautiful and cool you are behind your back.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

If you’re alone on Thanksgiving, venmo me $25 and I’ll call and ask you when are you gonna get a “real” job and give me grandchildren.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

The Pope is the only employee who never gets to see his boss. Not even at the Christmas party.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

Not to brag, but I’ve done nothing for several hours.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

America is like that TV show that’s been on for too long, and the writers don’t know what to do, so they just make anything happen.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

Just let your girlfriend be crazy, like who cares, bro.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

Texting him “Happy New Year” to interrupt his healing process.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

Unless it’s manic, I don’t want to hear about your Monday.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

Do you enjoy addiction, anxiety, and urinating? Then coffee may be the beverage for you.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

I feel bad for those that don’t enjoy their own company. I be having a ball by myself.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Threads:

Let’s take a family trip in this beautiful weather so the kids can complain about family, trips, and beautiful weather that has no wifi.

Making waves on Discord:

You don’t scare me, you’re not my ID photo.

Making waves on WeChat:

If you’re going through hell, keep going.

Shared recently on Slack:

Those guys holding fish in their dating profile pictures are just demonstrating how they’ll carry you over the threshold after marriage.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Grab your own butt! Love yourself!

Going bananas on Messenger:

Well, well, well, if it isn’t the holiday traffic I said I’d avoid even though I did nothing to avoid it.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

If you’re going to be weird, be confident about it.

Freshly posted on X:

Ground beef implies the existence of sky beef.

Trending via Reddit:

I belong to the generation that repaired the TV with a single blow to the casing.

Shared recently on Telegram:

“How am I supposed to avoid Al when I’ve procrastinated on a paper?” With a night full of caffeine and nicotine like your forefathers, you babies.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴