Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

I need to hire someone to just constantly slap food out of my hand.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

When I retire, I’m going to run for office.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

Just rolled over for a cuddle.. forgot I’m single… fell off the bed.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

If stress burned calories, I’d be a supermodel by now.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

Beavers are so funny. Why are you a little rat doing hydraulic engineering?

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

Every day is leg day when you’re running from your problems.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

Show me another rule so I can break that one too.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

If you see this, straighten your back, you banana-shaped mess.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

I am stoned and laying in bed reading, and the idea of Santa going on Ozempic popped into my head, and I whispered, “No!”

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

The way men eat when they’re single is nothing short of dehumanizing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,442

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Pinterest:

Super excited about a brand new week of self-sabotage.

Going viral on YouTube:

Alexa, tell Roomba to get the spider.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Overthinkaholic!

Seen just now on Instagram:

I’m writing a book on the joys of drinking beer. So far I’ve been through a lot of drafts.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Nearly choked on a carrot. A donut would never do that to me.

Just shared via Telegram:

I hope the next time you’re stressed, it’s because you’re choosing between Japan, Bali, Switzerland, or the Maldives.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I had no idea being an adult would involve so many lotions.

Just landed via Discord:

Where do I see myself in 5 years? I don’t even know where I am right now.

Going viral on Facebook:

My mind is like someone dumped the entire junk drawer on a trampoline.

Trending via Reddit:

When someone has “Do Not Disturb” on, it’s like, oh, okay, I didn’t realize the great philosopher was in their hour of seclusion. Pardon me for even daring to enter their precious mind palace.

A dating app for people who suck at flirting called Fumble.

1 month ago

Witty text about a dating app for awkward flirts called Fumble.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Introducing the newest way to find love for the socially awkward – 𝗙𝘂𝗺𝗯𝗹𝗲! Because stumbling over your words has never been so charming 😉💘 Who needs smooth lines when you can have adorable bumbles? Swipe right for awkward charm! #FumbleDating #FlirtingFailures

app, dating, flirting, Fumble, humor, people, relationship, singles, social, suck

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

65 shares on YouTube this month:

“You look tired.” Yes, bro, I stayed up all night obsessing over things I have no control over.

95 shares on WeChat this month:

Watching my wife absolutely hate my daughter’s boyfriend while being nice and hospitable to him has made me question every interaction I’ve had with another human being in my life.

42 shares on Telegram this month:

America’s national anthem should be changed to Welcome to the Jungle.

98 shares on Discord this month:

Ever read a post multiple times, still tilt your head and whisper, “What?!”

54 shares on Telegram this month:

My favorite part of football is when they feed the players water like they’re hamsters.

88 shares on Pinterest this month:

You never hear anything about Mr. Rubik himself, only about his cube.

70 shares on Telegram this month:

A dating app for people who self sabotage called Hinder.

18 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Do you ever want sleep but sleep doesn’t want you?

58 shares on Facebook this month:

“I’m just a girl!” No, you are a monster.

35 shares on Slack this month:

She’s probably just not using her phone right now for the first time ever in her whole life.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Sex is cool, but have you ever received reassurance without asking for it?

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Every man learns for himself the uselessness of owning an iPad.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

If you want people to have kind words when you pass, you should say kind words when you’re alive.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to downtown where the crosswalk signals are merely suggestions and you hope the puddles are water.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

What if aliens watch our movies about aliens and then invade accordingly in hopes of fitting in with our culture?

14 folks are currently checking 👀

The best part about Smarties is pouring them into an empty prescription bottle and shaking them all into my mouth while waiting in line.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Trying is the first step toward failure.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

The fact Head and Shoulders doesn’t have a body wash called Knees and Toes, is disappointing.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

In honor of Charles Dickens, I will also be poor this Christmas.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Whispering to paramedic before I pass out: save me, but not enough that I have to go to work tomorrow.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,537

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

Fake laughing at work is exhausting as hell, just leave me alone, bro.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

My talents are so hidden that I can’t even find them.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

High school crushes were crazy because, why the hell was I running all over school just to catch a glimpse of him.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

I be telling people, “I respect your decision,” and I really don’t. The decision is always something stupid, and I just don’t want to engage any further.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

I could have been somebody if I’d been somebody else.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

Ratatouille is hilarious because the villain wasn’t even evil; he just didn’t want food cooked by rats?!?

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

I’m sorry you had a bad experience at our restaurant. To make it up to you, here is a coupon for more of our terrible, terrible food.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

I feel bad for Slash. He bought a goofy hat in like 1986 and now he has to wear it until the day he dies.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

My biggest motivation for getting out of bed in the morning is knowing that I will eventually be able to get back in the bed.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

Too poor for Ozempic but too undisciplined for strict diet and exercise. Is there a secret third option?

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Messenger:

Enemies to lovers is only good if they’re gay. If I wanted to see a man and a woman yell at each other, I’d just go downstairs and eat with my parents.

Seen just now on Reddit:

If being hydrated is such a great thing, why does it feel like my bladder is pissed off?

Breaking via Instagram:

It’s okay if you don’t like me, not everyone has good taste.

Trending via Messenger:

Never eat more than you can lift.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I’m putting free wifi on my gravestone, so people will come visit me.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

My husband is looking for the remote control. I need everyone to stand up for a minute.

Making waves on WeChat:

Sometimes the whole point of going out is to then really savor coming back home.

Making waves on Slack:

Prime numbers are so cunty. Like okay, diva — only divisible by yourself?

Just landed via WhatsApp:

If you’re gonna spend so much time in my head, would it kill you to tidy up a bit?

Trending via Threads:

My favorite recipe is the one where I pick up the phone and order food.

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