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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

I don’t always carry all the groceries on one arm, but when I do, my keys are in the wrong pocket.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

No matter how messed up your situation is, someone on Reddit’s already lived it, cried about it, and made a 3-part update with screenshots and farmed 12k upvotes.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

The way people who are really into each other look moments before kissing is so hot. It’s like seeing a glimpse of cannibalism.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

8 planets, 204 countries, thousands of islands, 7 seas, 8 billion people, and I’m single.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

Peeling a sweaty sports bra off counts as aerobic exercise, right?

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

Frodo is a beautiful name for a boy. Has a ring to it.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

My mom sent me a text message so long I had to refill my Adderall prescription to read it.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

God saw you do that.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

So I used to wonder about people that paid a fortune for those little bottles of Evian water, until I read it backwards.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

Horoscope: Many good things are in store for you! Unfortunately, the store is closed for repairs.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Dec 27, 2025

3,682

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Facebook:

I love replying “Need him” when someone posts their boyfriend on their Instagram story.

Just landed via Slack:

I wanna meet the person whose parents are super disappointed he went to medical school instead of becoming a stand-up comedian.

Making waves on Twitch:

Partying hard on this Friday night, and by partying hard, I mean laying on my bed starfish-style.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Me rereading his texts after we’ve already said goodnight just so I can giggle and blush all over again.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Some of these fake tans look like an old Tupperware container that’s had marinara sauce in it.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Seeing an animal sigh is so funny to me. Like, what happened, buddy?

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Short men store so much anger in their little body.

Just shared via Messenger:

Bro, you gotta try this high-protein Caesar salad, cold brew, air fryer, overnight oats recipe I found on Instagram.

Shared recently on Twitch:

My life is simple, I see a queue of more than 6 people, I go home.

Going viral on Twitch:

Setting up a camera to go and pretend you just woke up from bed is another level of mental illness.

A dating app for people who suck at flirting called Fumble.

2 months ago

0

A dating app for people who suck at flirting called Fumble.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Introducing the newest way to find love for the socially awkward – 𝗙𝘂𝗺𝗯𝗹𝗲! Because stumbling over your words has never been so charming 😉💘 Who needs smooth lines when you can have adorable bumbles? Swipe right for awkward charm! #FumbleDating #FlirtingFailures

app, dating, flirting, Fumble, humor, people, relationship, singles, social, suck

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If chickens knew how good they tasted, they would understand.

0

2 months ago

animal, chicken, food, good, humor, irony, taste, understand, understanding
Me: Maybe it’s the weed talking but your apartment seems enormous. IKEA Manager: Sir.

1

2 months ago

apartment, conversation, enormous, humor, IKEA, manager, me, perspective, talking, weed
Whoever said it was okay to let your pets sleep in your bed, thanks a lot, now my goldfish is dead.

0

2 months ago

bed, dead, goldfish, let, lot, okay, pets, sleep, thanks
The only talent I have is spending more than I bring in.

0

2 months ago

bring, financial, humor, i, income, irony, money, only, spending, talent
Losing weight in your 40’s: LOL!

0

2 months ago

40s, age, challenge, diet, fitness, humor, laugh, lol, losing, weight
If your girlfriend doesn’t go a little psycho on you from time to time, then she’s not in love with you, sweetie.

0

3 months ago

affection, girlfriend, humor, little, love, psycho, relationship, time

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

42 shares on TikTok this month:

One day my kids will move out and discover the dishes don’t clean themselves and I feel for them. I really do.

35 shares on Twitch this month:

A real smart TV would increase the volume when you start eating chips.

44 shares on Pinterest this month:

Just once I’d like to buy a house plant that didn’t have the lifespan of a soap bubble.

35 shares on WeChat this month:

Every time I talk, it sounds like it’s my first time trying to speak.

36 shares on Messenger this month:

The Recipe for Disaster in me, recognizes the Appetite for Destruction in you.

53 shares on YouTube this month:

Remember when the FBI would threaten you at the beginning of every VHS tape? That was pretty cool.

34 shares on TikTok this month:

There is no sex. I lied. You are gonna lay here and take personality quizzes with me.

52 shares on Pinterest this month:

If I was a priest, I’d make my side of the confession booth really big so I could run around.

92 shares on WeChat this month:

I just sneezed next to my computer and the anti-virus popped up.

71 shares on Discord this month:

I have browser tabs open that are older than you.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

One of the hardest things to do as an adult is to go back to work after a long weekend.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

If craziness could fly, some people would have their own airport.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes the whole point of going out is to then really savor coming back home.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Windmill? Big fan.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

They should invent a rest for the wicked.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Headless mannequins are great because they let you see how you’ll look wearing a new shirt after you’ve been decapitated.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Asked a German woman why Germany produced so many legendary physicists / mathematicians, and her response was basically, “Have you considered educating people who aren’t rich?”

9 folks are currently checking 👀

And is the financial stability in the room with us right now?

14 folks are currently checking 👀

My neighbor said he heard me having sex today but it was just me standing in front of my air conditioner.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Autumn at last. Sitting on the sofa all day with a blanket and tea and watching movies. Just like in summer, but with a blanket and tea.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,616

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

Yes officer, I’d like to file a restraining order against my dentist’s appointment reminder system.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

I love when women have one daughter as their only child. It’s so incredibly chic.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

Most divorces are caused by a spouse eating potato chips while you try to watch TV.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

Halloween candy isn’t bad for you if you keep it in a salad bowl.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

I can clean the whole house if I want to, but if someone asks me to do it, suddenly I’m lazy.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

Can’t. Just put my hair in a bun and that’s just about enough exercise for today.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

The magician told me to “Pick a card! Any card!” So I took his Visa.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

I’m writing a book of obitchuaries for all the people who are dead to me.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

I feel like a large portion of my adult life has been looking for an adult to do my adulting.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

This can’t be the same body that used to be able to pull all nighters.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Discord:

Life sucks. One day you have tiramisu, and then most other days you don’t. I hate that.

Going viral on Slack:

I’m not like other girls. I don’t have a podcast.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Once you realize I’m an idiot, my posts start to make a lot more sense.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Job interview: Where do you see yourself in five years? Me: Hopefully on a sabbatical.

Spotted on Telegram:

Remember when we were young and said “I’ll sleep when i’m older”? Well, now we can’t when we want to.

Live now on Discord:

Have you ever been in the car with someone who drives like we got extra lives?

Just shared via Messenger:

I’m rearranging the kitchen which is devastating for my husband because now suddenly he remembers where everything used to be.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

I love wearing sunglasses. Am I looking at your face? Am I looking at your ass? No one knows.

Live now on Snapchat:

I don’t understand why bugs come inside when they have a whole outside to themselves.

Just shared via Telegram:

The price of groceries has gotten me thinking about what acorns taste like.

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