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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

The older I get, the more I walk like Charlie Chaplin.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

People be like “I love your energy” – then drain it.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

One of the great joys in this life is looking at your pet’s weird little teeth.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

Some people are so fake, their lock screens don’t recognize them.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

I’m bringing back “hold your horses” and nobody can stop me.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

This year has been the perfect blend between me losing my mind and having the time of my life.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

Sorry, babe, can’t right now. The group chat is active, and I’m trying to get my joke in before they change topics.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

Saw a shooting star and made a wish for everyone to stop talking to me.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

I can’t believe Halloween was 10 pounds ago.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

Grateful for independence mostly because British food is gross.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 19, 2026

3,551

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on X:

Sorry for the things I said when I thought you weren’t listening.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

My dog sure does give a lot of side eye for someone without a job.

Live now on Pinterest:

Career? Never heard of her. I’m majoring in sunshine and snacks.

Making waves on Messenger:

God: “I used to work in mysterious ways but now I’m unemployed.”

Just shared via Discord:

Welcome to your 50s, you now take supplements to help your memory, but you can’t remember if you took them today.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

I’m going to need to speak with the flowers about this.

Live now on TikTok:

Preparing for my beach vacation by watching Jaws.

Just shared via Twitch:

Apparently, “I just don’t want to” is not a valid reason when your boss asks you why you’re not coming in today.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I did some soul searching last night. I’m happy to report I still have one.

Making waves on TikTok:

The day I start waking up early it’s over for you all.

A dating app for people who suck at flirting called Fumble.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Introducing the newest way to find love for the socially awkward – 𝗙𝘂𝗺𝗯𝗹𝗲! Because stumbling over your words has never been so charming 😉💘 Who needs smooth lines when you can have adorable bumbles? Swipe right for awkward charm! #FumbleDating #FlirtingFailures

app, dating, flirting, Fumble, humor, people, relationship, singles, social, suck

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

43 shares on YouTube this month:

When I’m at a party, I pretend to be Pac-Man. I eat everything and run away from anyone coming close to me.

97 shares on WeChat this month:

Sometimes I look deep into my colleagues’ eyes to check if you really can’t see the back of their skulls.

70 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m just a girl, standing in front of a Monday, asking it to be a Friday.

99 shares on WeChat this month:

Dr. Pepper just unseated Pepsi as the second most popular soda in America. Don’t tell me that getting your PhD isn’t worth it.

37 shares on TikTok this month:

Interrupt my sleep and I’ll interrupt your breathing.

23 shares on X this month:

I have lived way too many lives for people to think they know everything about me.

24 shares on Threads this month:

I’m forced to conclude that not liking my posts is a you problem.

50 shares on Snapchat this month:

Of course I look tired, it’s hard pretending to be awake.

50 shares on Pinterest this month:

“Have AI summarize this email for you!” No thanks, I can read what the person actually said in the way they intended.

16 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Why can’t you just be happy for me and then go home and talk behind my back later like a normal person?

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Wanna perform obscene blood rituals under the full moon, or nah?

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Vegetables are actually pretty good when they’re fried.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing bad can happen while you’re under a blanket. Just remember that.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Traded my Fitbit in for a Sitbit.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I made a graph showing my past relationships. It has an ex axis and a why axis.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

A haunted house but in every room someone is asking you to say a little something about yourself.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t argue with her. Just say “you remind me of my ex” then walk away.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

What doesn’t kill you gives you a twisted, dark sense of humor.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

In all the movies, Santa never goes to the house directly next door. He always gets in his sleigh and flies off like 20 miles east.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

If you want people to have kind words when you pass, you should say kind words when you’re alive.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,606

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

Facebook friends are like pens. You may have 150, but only 5 are writing.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

It was all revealed to me in a delusion.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

Diet hack: Spend your money filling up your gas tank so you won’t have money for groceries.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

My soulmate is probably out there, wondering if there’s life on earth.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

I come from a family of failed magicians. I have two half sisters.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

If you’re in first class on a flight, sometimes they upgrade you to captain.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

My advice to anyone with a job: be the last one in, the first one out, and do as little as possible while getting maximum pay.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

Mid-life crisis? No, no, mid-day crisis. Something happens every day.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

Parenting is cheering on your kid’s winning softball team all weekend and then cheering on the Sunday rain for cancelling the rest of the games.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

You can learn a lot about a person by observing their every waking movement from a tree outside their house.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Pinterest:

My brain logged me out due to inactivity, and I can’t remember the password.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Have you noticed? When the relationship is new, the guy is never busy.

Going viral on Threads:

I love how we didn’t raise the minimum wage because it would make food more expensive, but then just made the food more expensive anyway.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Eating cold ravioli counts as breakfast if you’re still wearing yesterday’s clothes.

Seen just now on X:

Alexa, take responsibility for my actions.

Spotted on YouTube:

One person’s logic is another one’s “what the heck?”

Shared recently on YouTube:

It’s always a huge relief when I’m reading a list of symptoms of a deadly disease, and it says unexplained weight loss.

Just shared via Slack:

Good morning to everyone except myself cause I wish I was still asleep.

Just shared via TikTok:

I think I’m about six months away from the perfect ‘before’ picture.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

“I read 20 books this year!” That’s nothing. I read 50,000 tweets.

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