Trendy Funny Quotes

  • I’m sorry I didn’t text you back. I’m really busy watching the The Lord of The Rings in the form of mini clips on TikTok.
  • I’m really good at compromising as long as I get my way.
  • If you watch Home Alone backwards it’s a loving story about a kid that heals two men that were savagely beaten.
  • I briefly stepped away from social media to get an idea of what else is going on in the world. For instance, I didn’t realize I was still married.
  • Dear deodorant manufacturers, please stop writing “72h” on your products. There are people who believe that. And they sit next to me on the bus. Always. All of them!
  • The older I get, the more I treat birthdays like one-night stands and just pretend they didn’t happen.