Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

You ever see a woman so beautiful it makes you momentarily mentally ill?

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

I’ve got a headache, and it’s affecting my entire future.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

I feel like my greatest accomplishment today has been not saying what I’m thinking out loud.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

You stop moving your mouse for 5 seconds, and Microsoft Teams will say you never showed up for work.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

“Unc” is short for “unclear.” It’s unclear what it means. “Uncle” is short for “unclear” as well.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

Everything is a sign from God if you’re schizophrenic enough.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

Someday I’ll learn how to emotion like a proper human.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

Of course, my summer body is ready; it’s the same as my winter body but sweatier.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

Never quit, unless it’s too hard.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

I’m brave but not “order something different from the restaurant menu” kind of brave.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,352

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

I am thinking of watching a movie with my boyfriend. Can anyone recommend a good boyfriend?

Spreading quickly via Discord:

I have read the room and decided to be illiterate.

Trending via WhatsApp:

“It is what it is,” I say, not really knowing what it actually is.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Watching true crime documentaries so I can learn from their mistakes.

Spotted on Slack:

I’m done with dating sites and am now only focusing on food delivery people. They have a job, a car, and most importantly food.

Live now on Telegram:

It’s funny how people without pizzas in their hands actually think I’ll answer my door.

Shared recently on Twitch:

“Don’t take this the wrong way!” Translation: Prepare for insult.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Gonna get my eye looked at today. Usually it’s the other way around.

Just landed via YouTube:

If you have a pure heart, you can make pretty much any non-baking meal off just vibes and intuition.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Terrifying if taken literally—if these walls could talk.

All my passwords are protected, by my poor memory.

Humorous text about forgetfulness and password security with a playful tone.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Trying to hack into my accounts? Good luck, my first line of defense is my own forgetfulness! 🧠🚫🔒 #SecureByForgetfulness"

, , , , , , ,

Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

78 shares on Slack this month:

My biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking that I’d have to do.

100 shares on Threads this month:

Al guys are like, “We can’t use it to cure cancer, but we can suck all the joy and purpose out of life so that dying isn’t sad.”

71 shares on Threads this month:

Big accounts just say water is wet and get 1 trillion likes.

74 shares on Snapchat this month:

My kid asked where babies come from and I said everywhere, man, they’re worldwide.

49 shares on Messenger this month:

I need a vacation, but the kind where everyone else leaves, and I have my house to myself for a few days.

91 shares on Instagram this month:

Every man learns for himself the uselessness of owning an iPad.

92 shares on Slack this month:

Apparently, everyone on the Zoom calls outside my office finds my singing distracting.

34 shares on WhatsApp this month:

We all have that person who insists on using a blanket on the couch, no matter the weather.

30 shares on Telegram this month:

You’re old if you’re excited to learn how to play Mahjong.

47 shares on Telegram this month:

Whatever the plot is in Barbie’s movie, my dolls have been through worse.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

When someone sits in the empty seat beside you: flattered yet annoyed. When no one sits in the empty seat beside you: offended yet relieved.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

The first step to recovery is addiction.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

If you get cremated after you die, you can be put into an hourglass and still participate in family game nights.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Anyone still shut off lights when leaving a room because their parents used to say, “Don’t waste electricity!”

18 folks are currently checking 👀

The quickest way for a parent to get a child’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Anyone else think it’s weird how cancer kills more people than any other astrological sign.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I am like a wildflower, a quiet rebellion blooming through ruins and dust.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

A political guy who supports communism because he hates applying for jobs and just wants to be assigned somewhere.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Some people aren’t just missing a screw, the whole toolbox is gone.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Having a job is crazy. When you’re at home, you feel lonely and want to go to work. When you’re at work, you’re exhausted and just want to go home.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,640

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

I would like to see the USA go metric before I die, just so I can enjoy the outrage that would follow.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

Just accidentally closed a tab I’ve had been meaning to read for the past two years.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

Just once I’d like to wake up, turn on the news, and hear “Monday has been cancelled,” and then go back to sleep.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

“Your password is too weak!” Just wait until you see my impulse control.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

“Cut my life into pieces” screamed the earthworm and threw itself in front of my spade.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

You should tell different people completely different things about yourself so that they then get into arguments when gossiping about you.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

If it weren’t for the last minute, I’d never do anything.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

Texting random numbers “It’s done.”

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

The bowling ball actually hangs out with the pins after work. There isn’t beef there.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

It’s not even a crush. it’s just unsupervised hope.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Pinterest:

They say “When you snooze, you lose”… I say “When you take a nappy, you are happy.”

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Mentally saying “Wed-Nes-Day” when writing the word Wednesday.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

The only warning I take seriously these days is when my cell phone battery is low.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

The only downside to dating hot men is that when it ends, he’s still hot.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

It’s funny how everyone who was all about Christmas a week ago is suddenly into New Year’s now.

Just shared via Reddit:

Outlook just asked me if I’m “enjoying” Microsoft Outlook. As if it’s not the Torment Portal.

Live now on YouTube:

The brand name Oral B is so funny to me. WTF does the B stand for?

Just landed via Reddit:

The folks who write fragrance commercials must be like “I had the weirdest dream, Imma put it on TV.”

Going bananas on Slack:

Game night with the family is only fun until I lose.

Just landed via Twitch:

I’m not built to work, I’m built to brood in a castle with all my unread books.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴