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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

Men be like, “I’m sexually attracted to you as a friend.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

Terrifying if taken literally—if these walls could talk.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

Don’t disrespect me and then be the moral compass on how I respond.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

Whatever doesn’t kill you is probably still trying.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

I tried being the bigger person but all it got me was type 2 diabetes.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

Vegan zombies be like: GRAINS!

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

The only time you should be faking it is when your pet checks to see if you’re awake.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

The final level of being smart is just pretending you don’t know anything to make your life easier.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

There’s nothing I hate more than being comfy in bed and suddenly needing to pee.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

Lie about the gap in your resume. Tell them you had to help some Hobbits take a ring to Mordor or something.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,317

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via TikTok:

I hate when people ask me what I’m doing tomorrow, I don’t even know what I’m doing today.

Just shared via X:

When I hear the word “horror”, the first thing I think of is bills, not Halloween.

Spotted on Slack:

I wonder how my close personal beloved friend Taylor Swift is doing today.

Live now on Messenger:

One or the other, Lord – I can’t be broke and heartbroken.

Going viral on Telegram:

Oh, to be a rich, beautiful woman in her big car, driving to buy overpriced groceries to stock up her breathtaking kitchen in her gorgeous house.

Just landed via Snapchat:

That awkward moment when someone is doing the dishes, and you slowly put your dish in the sink.

Spotted on Threads:

Karma has taught me to never laugh at a stranger being attacked by a seagull.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

The first Saw movie should have been called Footloose.

Trending via Threads:

The ideal girlfriend breaks your heart, so you go on to do great things.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I don’t know if I’m still tired or already tired.

Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain, and most do.

2 months ago

0

Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain, and most do.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the art of criticism, a favorite pastime for the amateur philosophers and seasoned complainers alike! 🤔👏 From armchair critics to keyboard warriors, the realm of condemnation is a crowded one indeed! 😂 But hey, at least they're keeping the complaint department fully employed! 🙄💬 #CriticsGonnaCrit"

complain, condemn, criticize, fool, humor, irony, self-awarenes

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m in my 20s, but somehow I’m 16 and also 55 at the same time.

0

1 month ago

16, 20s, 55, age, age confusion, age paradox, confusion, feeling, feeling old, feeling young, old, paradox, same, time, young
Whoever allowed me to become an adult needs to be fired.

0

2 months ago

adult, allowed, decision, fired, firing, humor, life, me, needs, responsibility, sarcasm, workplace
School reunion is a scam… nobody is missing anyone, they just want to know whether you have made it in life or not.

0

2 months ago

anyone, friendship, gathering, honesty, humor, just, know, life, life success, missing, nobody, nostalgia, reunion, scam, school, school reunion, social, social gathering, success, want
Men microdose bicuriousness by asking what you’d do for a million dollars.

0

5 months ago

asking, bicuriousness, curiosity, dollar, dollars, humor, men, microdose, million, million dollar, money, question
When I say I love the ocean, I mean I love the surface. Whatever goes on beneath has my respect, but it’s none of my business.

0

1 month ago

boundary, business, humor, i, love, mean, mystery, none, ocean, respect, say, surface, underwater, whatever
Women are so hot, I wish they were good people.

0

2 months ago

attraction, good, good person, hot, humor, i, irony, people, person, wish, women

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

95 shares on Messenger this month:

It’s not my job to police the internet, but I just saw someone post a recipe for a cauliflower cake, and I reported them for harmful content.

29 shares on Instagram this month:

Social media is proof that even mental hospitals have WiFi.

48 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My front facing camera got me looking like a failed science project.

15 shares on YouTube this month:

Having a nicotine addiction is basically just adding a new base layer to Maslow’s hierarchy for no reason.

69 shares on WeChat this month:

We all have that one coworker whose sole purpose is to reduce our life expectancy by ten years.

72 shares on Facebook this month:

From now on, I’m gonna tell guests that I made my house especially messy just for their visit. It was hard, but I got it done.

60 shares on Facebook this month:

Went on a date with a guy who didn’t ask me any questions about myself, so it’s on him when he finds out about my husband.

13 shares on LinkedIn this month:

When people say something is cray-cray it makes me wanna vom-vom.

14 shares on Twitch this month:

People pleasing doesn’t go well with my black attire.

38 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Did you get that psychic damage I sent you?

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Getting older is realizing how great doing nothing is.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

When we’re old, the children will use Covid to explain our brain damaged opinions much like we do to Boomers with lead. It is fate.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

You really have to enjoy the way a man is acting in the beginning, because you will never meet that man again.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

One of the kids said, “Camping looks fun,” so tonight we’re watching The Revenant.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Ozzy Osbourne has mumbled through entire sentences, and I still understood him better than most of my exes.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Once my school teacher lectured me for unacceptable behavior. That’s 30 mins of sleep I am never getting back

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Do I work hard? No. But do I work smart to compensate. Absolutely not.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Deja poo is when you feel like you’ve heard the same shit before.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

When you clean your room so well that the only trash left is you.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I love when I come home, I put on my Adam Sandler clothes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,241

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

The smarter we make the A.I., the less it wants to do our jobs.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

A two-step guide to warning someone not to hit their head: 1. Wait until they’ve hit their head. 2. Say “Ooh, mind your head!”

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

Human interaction is a great way to learn all the new swear words your subconscious mind has come up with in the lab.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

The biggest problem with working from home? I want to go home even though I’m already at home.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Life is hard. It is harder if you are stupid.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

So many mistakes to make, so little time.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

Every McDonald’s should have a flag they fly at half mast when the ice cream machine is down.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

My bank assures me my money is safe with them, yet they keep their pens chained to desks and most of them are missing.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

People out there having five-year plans, and here I am waking up just hoping I remember what day it is.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

The show “How I Met Your Mother” was just a really long TED talk.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Twitch:

It’s getting slide guitar and harmonica hot outside.

Just landed via Telegram:

Sorry for acting weird, I am weird, and it will happen again.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I’m done with dating sites and am now only focusing on food delivery people. They have a job, a car, and most importantly food.

Spotted on WeChat:

My kids and I have this bit where I say something and they ignore me.

Making waves on Threads:

I was in Paris with a boyfriend once and he lit a candle in Notre Dame in order to ask God to raise the price of Bitcoin.

Trending via WeChat:

I don’t think humans were put on this earth to know what Salesforce is. It’s unnatural.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Since I started following the wisdom of ancient Chinese philosopher Fuk Yu, my life has been so much better…

Going bananas on Messenger:

You ever get surprised by your own recurring issues? Like, come on man, I thought we were past this.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

My mom gave me a coffee mug that says “Be your own kind of beautiful” and I’m really trying not to read too much into that.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I love being a pretty woman because it widens the threshold for cringe-worthy things I can say.

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