Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Who needs a white noise machine when you've got me around? 🛌😴 But hey, if you can't handle the symphony of my sleep, you don't get a front-row seat to my morning opera! 🎶😉 #SnoreAndRoar"

deserve, honesty, humor, love, me, moaning, relationships, sleeping, snoring

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m afraid that AI will quickly realize that the biggest problem on Earth is humans – and then solve the problem.

0

5 months ago

afraid, AI, apocalypse, Earth, fear, human, humans, humor, problem, realize, solution, solve, technology
Proposing at someone else’s wedding is out. Die at their funeral like a real man.

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2 months ago

die, funeral, humor, man, norms, proposal, real, real man, social, social norms, someone, wedding
Life sucks. One day you have tiramisu, and then most other days you don’t. I hate that.

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1 month ago

craving, day, days, dessert, disappointment, food, food craving, hate, humor, i, life, most, sucks, tiramisu
I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

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2 months ago

annoy, commitment, humor, life, love, marriage, person, relationship, special, special person
Why are so many people going everywhere whenever I have to go anywhere?

0

2 months ago

anywhere, everywhere, frustration, going, humor, i, irony, observation, people, whenever
“I asked ChatGPT”. I confided in Amazon. I confessed to McDonald’s. I have an inside joke with Exxon Mobil.

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2 months ago

Amazon, asked, ChatGPT, communication, confiding, corporate, exxon, Exxon Mobil, humor, humor communication, humor relationship, i, inside, inside joke, irony, joke, McDonald’s, mobil, relationship

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

39 shares on TikTok this month:

Naps are like gambling for the tired. You either wake up refreshed or too late to lots of angry texts.

22 shares on WeChat this month:

If there was a pill for procrastination… I’d probably take it tomorrow.

21 shares on Discord this month:

Needlenose in HR says we can’t use nicknames anymore.

15 shares on Twitch this month:

Most divorces are caused by a spouse eating potato chips while you try to watch TV.

10 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Just because I loved you at one point doesn’t mean I will always love you. I’m not Whitney Houston.

50 shares on Threads this month:

If you ever think English is not a weird language just remember that read and lead rhyme and read and lead rhyme. But read and lead don’t rhyme, and neither do read and lead.

29 shares on TikTok this month:

Making her wear those remote-controlled vibrating panties in public so I can inform her when I’m tired and want to leave the party.

36 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Serious replies to silly posts are now illegal. Go talk to your wife.

17 shares on Telegram this month:

You look like the kind of person whose recorded calls have been used for training purposes.

36 shares on Facebook this month:

I dreamt this night that I had died and when I woke up, a piece of me was actually already stiff.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

His hands wouldn’t stop talking to me, your honor.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

I thought my wrinkles were finally getting smaller, but it turns out my eyes were just getting worse.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

November should have one more day. Just because to me November 31st sounds real. And also I don’t want to pay rent tomorrow.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

People see me spending money and think I’m rich. No, bro, I’m just irresponsible.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

Terrible economy to ask a girl what’s wrong.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

My favourite adult hack is when I carefully and thoughtfully put something very important away so I can’t lose it, and then I never find it again.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

Monday? But, I wasn’t even finished with Saturday yet.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

When you first meet a man, that fake version of him be so fire.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

Before you try to save someone, make sure you’re not interrupting their karma.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

I hate it when what’s wrong asks me what’s wrong.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

According to “The Hobbit”, Gollum was once a handsome young man who was robbed of his youth, zest for life and energy by putting on a ring. Men, think about it!

Spotted on Threads:

(lost in the labyrinth and I’m wearing a Fitbit) Nice, got my 10,000 steps.

Shared recently on Threads:

Unless it’s manic, I don’t want to hear about your Monday.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

If lying was a job some people would be billionaires.

Just shared via Twitch:

The Bible is 100% accurate when thrown at close range.

Trending via Reddit:

Nothing fixes your life the way deactivating Instagram does.

Live now on TikTok:

Everyone’s gangster until they need to pee.

Seen just now on TikTok:

If you think I’m evil, wait until you meet the man who made me this way.

Broadcasted on X:

You guys ever play a game for hours straight? You start hallucinating the sounds.

Just landed via TikTok:

On average, my daily actions demonstrate I’m probably good at something else.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Anyone who doesn’t like me snoring, doesn’t deserve me moaning either.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I’m afraid that AI will quickly realize that the biggest problem on Earth is humans – and then solve the problem.

Proposing at someone else’s wedding is out. Die at their funeral like a real man.

Life sucks. One day you have tiramisu, and then most other days you don’t. I hate that.

I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

Why are so many people going everywhere whenever I have to go anywhere?

“I asked ChatGPT”. I confided in Amazon. I confessed to McDonald’s. I have an inside joke with Exxon Mobil.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨