Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • I don’t wanna brag, but I’ve been told I’m micro-management material.
  • I met my wife at a singles night. I was surprised as I thought she was at home with the kids.
  • When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep, not screaming, like the passengers in his car.
  • We all have needs. I need my wife to go run errands so I can swipe the last donut.
  • If i say “morning!” to you, it does not mean “good morning”, I am merely exclaiming in horror that it is morning.
  • My age no longer permits me to suffer for love, so if you see me sad, it’s due to lack of money.