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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

I have entirely too many new bruises for someone who isn’t getting laid.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

lol is punctuation and LOL is laugh out loud.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

Don’t come to my house unannounced; I will stare at you from my window.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

Born to say “are you f*****g stupid”, forced to say “wow, I’ve never thought about it like that before”.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

Stop normalizing things, we’ll run out of the weird shit.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

Engagement photo shoots are so funny as a concept. Like girl, we believed you.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

Be the reason someone spits out their drink today.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Not eating the cookie I’m craving. I better wake up skinny tomorrow.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

Just got hired at Five Guys as the guy who punches the burger before they put it in the bag.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

Insulting me won’t work. I already said that to myself earlier.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

789 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,951

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,951

24 minutes ago

3,427

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Discord:

Going to bed early is easy, going to sleep early is a whole other set of problems.

Shared recently on Reddit:

No pre-workout, just flashbacks of stuff I let slide.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

I am grateful for my experiences. I just didn’t need them all.

Just shared via Facebook:

I’m basically a taxi today for the kids and dogs.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Sorry I left you on read, I didn’t mean to open it just yet.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Cake hits so much harder off a plastic fork.

Seen just now on Instagram:

The guy that said laughter is the best medicine obviously wasn’t suffering from diarrhea.

Trending via Threads:

A 12 step program but it’s just me getting off the couch.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Nowadays, people no longer look for a needle in a haystack, but for errors in a spreadsheet.

Shared recently on YouTube:

The problem with hiding snacks from my kid is that when I forget, they end up being hidden from me too.

Apparently “ew no” is not an acceptable way to tell my boss I don’t want more responsibility at work.

6 months ago

Apparently “ew no” is not an acceptable way to tell my boss I don’t want more responsibility at work.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🤷‍♂️ When "ew no" meets the professional world, things can get a little tricky! 🙈 Apparently, not all bosses speak the language of "ew no" fluently. Time to brush up on those communication skills, or just stick to the good ol' eye roll and heavy sigh combo. 😉 #ProfessionalCommunicationFail

boss, boundary, communication, humor, i, office, rejection, responsibility, tell, want, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

789 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,951

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,951

24 minutes ago

3,440

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

Sorry, I can’t hang out tomorrow. I hung out with people a week ago and I’m still recovering from that.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

Called in, “Taking a gap year.”

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

A moment of silence for those who hate us but can’t unfriend us because they’re afraid of not knowing what’s happening in our lives.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

Every year I realize how dumb I was a year ago.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

Kinda sucks that the prize for washing your laundry is getting to fold your laundry.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

I made the mistake of clicking on an Instagram ad for a flannel shirt, and now the algorithm thinks I’m a lumberjack.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

Gwyneth Paltrow, I received the message you sent me last night in my dream and will proceed with the plan.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

Probably the worst thing about pyramid schemes is how they make you advertise to all your friends and family that you are part of a pyramid scheme.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

Refusing to attend my brother’s gambling intervention until they agree to call it a slot shaming.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

What I’m trying to say is, “Hello, here’s my entire heart and all of my devotion.”

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Twitch:

I think I’ma end the year with a plot twist, everyone hold on tight.

Going viral on Telegram:

In my 20s: I’m gonna live forever! In my 40s: uh oh!

Freshly posted on Twitch:

People who often talk to themselves are more intelligent than others. At least that’s what I tell myself.

Spotted on Threads:

I bought some old lady reading glasses as a lark, a laugh, and now my eyes don’t hurt. This isn’t what I wanted.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I would have loads of money if I liked Ramen Noodles and hated vodka.

Shared recently on Reddit:

God sends you an only child as a friend to test you.

Making waves on Twitch:

Commenting “what about us?” on all Valentine pics this year.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

I’m never more unattractive than when a bee flies in my face.

Trending via Twitch:

Whoops, accidentally said I couldn’t make it before they even said the date.

Spotted on Threads:

If you don’t know how many x-rays it takes before a person develops super powers, should you really be in a medical profession?

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